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Husband being insensitive.... Husband being insensitive....

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Unread 01-23-2012, 02:03 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

aww hugs to you, I have a dh like that too.

I fretted about the things not getting done for the first couple of weeks and then I thought, I am going to have to let this go. The place was not hoovered, the ironing was not done, although he did put the washing in and out the machine, but I had to put it over the airer. I also wiped the bathroom round as I could not bear the thought of it not being cleaned for 6 weeks and ran a wipe over the kitchen tops.

You just have to think that your recovery is the most important thing and that must come first.

I am sorry you are going through this, is is not easy and I will you the best, that he will understand and help more.
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Unread 01-23-2012, 03:31 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

well, if the are so unsupportive, I don't see any reason to give in to them for sex-they truely don't deserve it!

I feel a time like this is one that shows us peoples true colors-and while I'm so sad you girls are going through this, I for the first time in my life, do not feel I am going through this type of behavior all alone-this is the most helpful thread on this site-THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart for sharing such a personal issue.
Love you all so much.
Unread 01-23-2012, 10:59 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

Amen, I am so glad we all have each other to get through this, this is a wonderful site!!!! I told him to night, it's called mood swings get used to it and get over it. A happy wife/happy life!!!! MEN~~~UGH!!!!
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Unread 01-24-2012, 12:48 AM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

I feel so much better after reading your responses and knowing you gals are there with me. He did take me to the doc today and has been super nice, and he has even mentioned going to Seattle for our anniversary. (which is months away). And wonders of wonders he did TWO loads of laundry with out having to be asked. He is off to work again and wont be home for 2 weeks, so I can rest without having him say things
Unread 01-24-2012, 07:35 AM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

i have just totally given up on hubby lifting 1 finger around house. i told him today i would get down at our restaurant when i got all of house cleaned.he just said that would be fine with him.i give up.but at least we're speaking to each other again but i am not gonna have sex til I FEEL LIKE IT not other way around
Unread 01-24-2012, 08:02 AM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

I am so sorry you ladies have not had very supportive husbands.
I feel very blessed.
My hubby did lots of research beforehand so he was much more aware than I was about what to expect. He had a week off work when I first got home to make sure that I did not overdo anythng.
Over Christmas he was fantastic with all the cooking, with the help of my kids. All I did was LOTS of washing up to stop my mother from helping, as her washing up is terrible!

He has a bad heart himself, so is limited to how much he can actually do, but he is still doing all the cooking, even though I can now do much more of the housework myself.
Perhaps you can shame your husbands into being more help by telling them about how wonderful some other husbands are!

I am pacing myself how much housework I do now, with lifting and bending. The most help he gives now is NOT nagging about the mess!
Unread 01-24-2012, 08:19 AM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

Good idea - Shame is good! BUT - If some of these guys are like my ex, it might not work and even backfire.

My husband has been a dream. At 10 weeks post-op, he understands if I still need to nap in the middle of the day and he still does a larger portion of the housekeeping than before. (He's always been good about laundry and vacuuming) He's not overly fond of cooking so the daughter did that for us the first 2 weeks post, but he did all the dishes.

SO - to all you slacker husbands - GET OVER YOURSELVES AND GET TO WORK! Your wife's body has just been through an ordeal. Just because you can't see all the damage doesn't mean it's not there.

PLUS - The more she rests now, the faster she will heal and be back to her normal self.
Unread 01-24-2012, 01:16 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

I'm also blessed. I have a "life partner" (we have decided never to get married LOL!) and he has been unbelievable. Truly.

I feel horribly for those of you with a crap DH. I had one of those once. I can imagine he'd be EXACTLY as many of you have described. Thank God I got rid of him before this surgery.
Unread 01-24-2012, 02:58 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

my hubby has just not got any better. i think i may leave him.
Unread 01-24-2012, 04:19 PM
Husband being insensitive....

Originally Posted by christinatas View Post
my hubby has just not got any better. i think i may leave him.
Don't make any rash decisions, just take care of yourself and IGNORE him this surgery really turns everything upside down and I found that I got really sensitive about everything , hang in there it will get better it did for me I just let everything go until I felt like doing it my grandmother used to say "dirt won't hurt you unless a whole lot falls on top of you " LOL !!! She was right

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