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Husband being insensitive.... Husband being insensitive....

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  #61  
Unread 01-28-2012, 06:36 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

dear miss pippinhill-there's no excuse for your husband or mine at all .mine was total jerk.i had to threaten divorce for him to start paying halfway attention to my concerns.he never went to not one of my appointments.ppl. wonder why i have such strong attitude and "i'm the strong one".i am sick of hearing that.i have heard that from my mother continuously all my life.that other ppl. wasnt like me,mentally and physically strong.thats just crap.
if i didnt basically halfway crawl thru house the 1st week out i might've starved or thirsted to death.
the only person that helped was my 16 yr old boy.he even helped me take a bath when i couldnt help myself. but the the little **** also disappeared once i started moving around but i do know i dont ever have to worry about him not taking care of me but if i would've been smart i wouldnt have moved for about the 1st 3 weeks period.yeah, you'll start feeling really good but dont let that fool you and you go back to work too soon like i did.i am almost 11 weeks out and i now feel almost 100%better.i had TAH AND I HAD HAD C-SECTIONS SO I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE WAY I WOULD FEEL AFTER TAH,GOSH I WAS WRONG.dont pay him any attention,if need be get mean and ugly with him,that seems to work. i also told him it was gonna be a shame when i filed for a divorce cause of his lack of caring after a surgery and thats why i would get rid of him. be tough and firm.think-I AM WOMAN-- HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #62  
Unread 01-28-2012, 07:53 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

I HEAR YOU SISTER !!!!!

DONT' BE A WOMAN THAT NEEDS A MAN, BE A WOMAN A MAN NEEDS

we are stronger than we think, I no longer do anything unless I want to and most days I come home from work and go to BED. I have told my Husband and my Son I need to rest and since I had to go back to work I need my rest.
  #63  
Unread 01-30-2012, 11:16 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

  Quote:
Originally Posted by johndeerecrazy View Post
I am days post op and doing very well, I am off the pain meds getting around really well and was feeling great. Till my DH opened his mouth this morning and called me a weeny. I have not asked him for help I have not complained to him... He is upset that I cant drive or go shopping or do the laundry... All those little things that he has taken for granted for just being done, He wont do them, so they go undone. How do you deal with an insensitive husband?
If it were me I would go home to my mom if I could, if not stay at a friend's. Actually, I did stay with a friend for 3.5 wks after surgery and her husband was really nice to me, cooked for me, drove me, walked with me, and hung out with me while my friend was at work.

Maybe if you husband heard from your dr what the consequences of you doing these things were, he would get better?
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  #64  
Unread 01-31-2012, 08:04 AM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

Had to set husband and boss straight. First of all, like me boss a lot but he's crossed the line checking in on me via phone calls and emails asking if I'm better and inquiring about next checkups etc. So, I sent him an email stating that I'm feeling better everyday but that does not equate to being healed, I will return upon the date that we discussed that my doctor suggested and I copied HR on the email. Enough is enough. I'm able to work from home and have been a little on the computer but that's not enough. So now, I know for sure that I will take my full six weeks to heal!
As for husband, I told him to cease asking if I'm feeling better and ask how I feel! And do not ask me again if I'm ready to go back to work!
I have had one home-cooked meal in two weeks and house work piling up...I've joined "Team Not Doing It" as long as my healing area is clean my adult kid and husband can fend for themselves just as I am while recovering!
  #65  
Unread 01-31-2012, 08:13 AM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Susanlaire View Post
If it were me I would go home to my mom if I could, if not stay at a friend's. Actually, I did stay with a friend for 3.5 wks after surgery and her husband was really nice to me, cooked for me, drove me, walked with me, and hung out with me while my friend was at work.

Maybe if you husband heard from your dr what the consequences of you doing these things were, he would get better?
Thanks for the advice, but I am doing so much better, emotionally and physically. My DH had a moment of stupidity and is doing so much better now. He even helped me shave my legs for my post op appointment. I don't think he realized how his behavior was making me feel till I had a blow up and told him I had no idea how volatile some ladies would feel about this topic. I am sincerely sorry I even posted.
  #66  
Unread 01-31-2012, 08:20 AM
Husband being insensitive....

  Quote:
Originally Posted by johndeerecrazy View Post
Thanks for the advice, but I am doing so much better, emotionally and physically. My DH had a moment of stupidity and is doing so much better now. He even helped me shave my legs for my post op appointment. I don't think he realized how his behavior was making me feel till I had a blow up and told him I had no idea how volatile some ladies would feel about this topic. I am sincerely sorry I even posted.
I'm sincerely happy that you posted it. Reading the posts after gave me my power back and took me out of my pity party and allowed me to speak up on the subject and it was productive and healthy.
  #67  
Unread 01-31-2012, 12:44 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

  Quote:
Originally Posted by johndeerecrazy View Post
Thanks for the advice, but I am doing so much better, emotionally and physically. My DH had a moment of stupidity and is doing so much better now. He even helped me shave my legs for my post op appointment. I don't think he realized how his behavior was making me feel till I had a blow up and told him I had no idea how volatile some ladies would feel about this topic. I am sincerely sorry I even posted.

I am glad to hear that you are both doing better. I am also glad you posted, so women can see that its possible that their man can be acting stupid and get behind it.

You are lucky, for some reason this surgery seems to change men, unfortunately not always for the good.
  #68  
Unread 01-31-2012, 01:06 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

I'm SO THANKFUL you posted this-it helped me so much!!! Thank you.

A boss checking on email activity and bugging you is really crossing a line-I made it a point to tell my one boss I did not want ANY CALLS asking how to order supplies, etc. as when I was off and couldn't breath and on breathing treatments last year they would call my cell, call my house, then text me like crazy and I was off super sick-so I was lucky to learn from that episode-I felt totally harrassed!
  #69  
Unread 01-31-2012, 04:35 PM
Re: Husband being insensitive....

i am so glad i have finally reached point where i feel almost 100%better.i hope feeling continues to stay w/ me.
my DH never has explained to me why he was so insensitive to me when i needed him the most.i still dont understand his reasoning or his thoughts on this matter. i dont get it.
he said he was too tired to help me.i do understand with part of this,we're running a small family restaurant with just us two plus 1 waitress and my 16yr old son,derek coming after school. i do understand how bad i was needed @ job but i swear he told me i had always been so strong that he really thought i'd beat healing time and would've been back @ work within just a week or two not 1 day @3 weeks,1 day @4 weeks and then 5 days @5 weeks and then straight 6 days working.its been a nightmare.we had to do this or lose our home.i am trying to mentally forgive him cause i do love him.i just wish he would've taken time to say,baby,i love you and iwant you to take time to heal and heal right.
that would have been heaven to hear.
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