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I don't think hubby/kids get it.... I don't think hubby/kids get it....

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Unread 01-24-2012, 06:13 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

Christinatas. I am sending u a really big hug right now...I am sorry u are going thru all that.
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Unread 01-24-2012, 07:16 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

I am sorry you are dealing with that. My husband thought I'd be good in a few days. He took a week off work and then my father was here the second week. You will need help for that long, I was alone with my 2 & 3 yr old at 2 weeks and had to call my sister to take care of kids. I did have the DaVinci, which was not too horrible but the cramping was awful. I am 9 weeks post-op tomorrow and I feel amazing now! I hope you heal well, get tons of help and rest! Xoxo
Unread 01-24-2012, 07:42 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

I thought I was blessed with an understanding hubby. During the 6 weeks I was recovering he was fine. But we hit the 6 week mark and suddenly it was - why can't you do A B or C? Well duh, its only 6 weeks and 1 day ....

I found that I had/have to just remind him on a regular basis. I am now just over 3 months and still find that I can't do everything I was before the surgery
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Unread 01-25-2012, 12:30 AM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

Don't you think sometimes they are scared too? Guys know that we endure all kinds of things and to think we will be down for 6 weeks probably shakes up their world. Having a baby doesn't even put you down for that long!

I went into surgery at 7am, my husband got an "all finished/all good" report from the surgeon 5 1/2 hours later but then couldn't see me until I was out of post-op at 5:00pm. When he got to the room and I was hooked up to IV, oxygen, catheter and those leg compressors the seriousness of the procedure hit him and he cried!

They will finally get it! Just make sure to stick to your post-op instructions and STAY IN YOUR ROBE!!
Unread 01-25-2012, 01:17 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

I have no doubt that hubby is scared...he is not good in these types of situations......I remember him during the birth of my first was a mess! We had a brief discussion at the dinnertable last daughter had asked if they were going to have to eat McDonalds alot? lol I was thinking about pre cooking some dinners and just freezing them. I will have to stock up on some "easy bake" items also.
I think hubby is also concerned about the fact that I also have multiple sclerosis.....there is always that worry that anything that stressing on the body has a slight risk of bringing on a relapse. That is in the back of my mind also....I think if I remain calm, I will be okay.
Right now, I worry most about if my insurance is going to cover the surgery. The nurse will be submitting my claim to them this week, she said it shouldn't be a problem.....but there's always that chance.
Unread 01-25-2012, 06:03 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

Deal with this now. My family didn't really get it either until two days after I got back from the hospital and I blew up at them.
Same details as you have, I mentioned it, I told them about it, etc.

The first thing my 15 yr old says to me the day I get back, "How long are you going to be like this?" After telling her to feed my dog.

So, sit them down and TELL them what's what. You're going to need them to understand before you get home.
Unread 01-25-2012, 10:22 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

I want to send prayers and healing to everyone who wrote here. I am due for surgery in the morning. I was fine up until today when my "freak outs" started. To add insult to injury I planned a family dinner then my daughter (17)chose to stay in her room and argue with her boyfriend. She has been acting like it's nothing. I stopped my packing to come into this site because my feelings are so very hurt right now. I have a son who has been hanging out with me and checking in on me. No other family or a partner. It's going to be a very long night for me Many Blessings to all.
Unread 01-26-2012, 07:24 AM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

i hope you have more help than i have had. i feel i would've been better at 4 weeks if i could've rested more. just dont do anything.cause i feel like if i hadnt moved around as much son and hubby would have helped more. but i swear i used to help all my family thru all of their ordeals but after i recieved no help from all of my family i doubt i will ever help them again.this surgery really proves to u WHO cares about you. i have always been caring person towards family and friends but aftet this surgery i doubt i will help anyone besides son,hubby and 1 neighbor that came and cleaned my home for me.this surgery really proved to me how little i am thought of.i thought my family would come and stay with me caus i have extra bedroom.sometimes you just want your mom,well she wasnt there for me,this has caused major rift between us.i quit even answering her telephone calls for now.i know i am being a baby but this has hurt my feelings.we have always waited on her hand and foot thru all of her ordeals and i couldnt believe how i was done.i am just about ashamed to tell anybody the way my family done me.i have healthy mom,dad,and 2 sisters and not one of them would drive an hour 1 1/2 to check on me.but i will remember this.
Unread 01-26-2012, 02:29 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

Oh thank goodness I am not alone.
I am just three weeks since abdominal hysterectomy . Even while I was still in hospital the same day that I had the surgery I was getting unsupportive attitude from some family members
. At home husband started trying to be helpful at home with chores but teenage children cannot be bothered to do anything and will not even be quiet if I am trying to rest. I do not think the message is being got to them from husband that I will need to be allowed to recover for a number of weeks.

I think that now it is three weeks they think that because I am not at work, I can rest enough in the day and so in the evening and at weekend they all just make no allowances.

No one at home has yet asked me , "Are you okay? ".

Now I worry that once back at work, in a demanding job, family will think that I am all "back to normal".
I just really don't like the side of my family that has been revealed.

Unread 01-26-2012, 05:57 PM
Re: I don't think hubby/kids get it....

My husband watched all the da vinci sugeries on line, which is great. i think he gets it...but his main focus is when can we have sex again . I have preteen girls who are helpful, but didn't want all the scares them, and i want them to feel at ease with it, so i told them just enough. I think it's our job to educate them about what we need and it's important for you to feel rested, comforted and ease. they will follow

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