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Unread 01-26-2012, 06:10 PM

I'm only 3 days post TVH, and very frustrated tonight. While laying in my bed upstairs I listened to my hubby and two daughters(4 & 15months) playing and giggling all night. I watched as he carried Willow(the baby) to her room and listened as he sang her a song and put her to bed. That's my job...but it's been interrupted by this surgery. I did get out of bed long enough to help my 4yo into her jammies and tuck her in, so I guess something is better then nothing.
Just gotta keep telling myself, keep my head up, it'll get better.
Thanks for listening! I love that I've found this forum. It's not been easy being 28 and going through this!
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Unread 01-26-2012, 06:48 PM
Re: Frustrated!

Hi Heather!

It's not easy, but good for you for hanging in there and keeping it all about you for now, while you are in a very critical phase of recovery. Maybe the troops can all come in for a visit with you and all sing to Willow together as you rest comfortably like a good princess.

I think it might be difficult for you to resist lifting them, too, but that really has to wait a bit, too, until doctor says it's okay.

Rest easy, Heather -- this, too, shall pass, and the better you take care of yourself now the sooner you're likely to be able to get back into the fold and enjoy family like before. Until then, maybe there are creative ways you can share the love.

Unread 01-26-2012, 09:03 PM
Re: Frustrated!

Oh sweetie, of course you are frustrated! And it is ok for you to feel kind of sad at what you are missing out on, but do remember, this will pass! Take good care of yourself and give yourself the best chance to heal up right the first time! This healing time may feel like it is lasting forever, but before you know it, you will be up and around slowing getting back into the swing of life.

And, think about how blessed you are to have a husband who is pitching in and taking such good care of your kids while you heal! What a gift! Not everyone has a good man around! You are a blessed woman!

As you feel better, have some time where you and they can be together, maybe coloring in your bed, or watching a DVD together, or reading a book.

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Unread 01-26-2012, 10:45 PM
Re: Frustrated!

Hey Heather,

I understand about feeling frustrated when you aren't participating and the fun is happening without you. I was there for years, not participating or going along because of my issues. For the first time in a very long time, I'm looking forward to a lot of summer activities with my family and not hearing about it second had and looking at photos.

It won't be long before you are up and out of bed - still taking it easy, mind you! - and doing things with the kids. Like K said, they can always join you in your room. I was back to all normal activity at 6 weeks. I'm 10 weeks post-op and feeling mostly great. You'll be there before you know it.

Take care!
Unread 01-27-2012, 02:31 AM
Re: Frustrated!

Thanks ladies! Today was the roughest of days as of yet, so I was just really down and out. My mom is coming to help today while DH is at work, I think we'll make it a girls day in my bed. Maybe even have a tea party Thanks again for all the words of support and wisdom...not sure I would have made it through the past 24 hours without the support of this forum! Ya'll are definitely a find bunch of ladies!
Unread 01-27-2012, 02:54 AM
Re: Frustrated!

I loved it when my kids were that age, and just watching what they were doing is a wonderful thing.
Try to resist the temptation to pick them up for a few weeks yet. It could mess up your internal healing, and a stray foot kicking the swelly belly will be agony.

You are lucky will have a lovely hubby to help with the children, and if you could get family or friends to come and help with a bit of housework, that will help a lot.

Any time you feel well you could spend with gentle activites and the children, not worrying about cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom!
Unread 01-27-2012, 08:09 AM
Re: Frustrated!

Hi Heather, please put your frustrations to rest, and YOURSELF too because complications can happen if you don't rest up and then you'll take longer to care for your babies. Be strong and let hubby handle the babies while you concentrate only on your recovery, and pleeeese do not over do it even when you first feel like ur recovered bec I did and it took me back to the hospital for 4 days after my robotic hyster was only a one day stay.
Unread 01-27-2012, 10:07 AM
Re: Frustrated!

Something I also thought of last night. Days 3 and 4 can be really hard. Physically and Emotionally. I have found that the 3rd or 4th day after any thing major (medical procedure, hard workout, injury) to be just a bad bad day all around. Really don't know what it is, but I have heard others say the same.

I think it is good to validate your feelings, cry if you need to, but then don't dwell on them. If you are a person of faith, pour out your heart to God and unload on Him, He has big shoulders and can take it. Keep lines of communication open with your husband and mom too, so that they will know what you are feeling and maybe help you find ways to connect with your kids in special ways while you heal.

I have a friend who had a hyst, along with some major vaginal, rectal and bladder work done. She could not lift her kids for three full months, and then only sparingly at first. It was soooooooo hard for her, but she was patient. She would go with her hubby (or whoever what helping her that evening) during the bedtime routine and sing to her little girl, kiss her goodnight and let daddy do all the lifting. Her daughter adapted quickly and it helped her feel more connected during her healing.
Unread 01-27-2012, 10:15 AM
Re: Frustrated!

Heather, your frustrations today will be slowly put to the side as you continue to heal. Try to think of the wonderful times ahead and not focus so much on what ur missing now. If u listen to the docs ur recovery will be over soon and you will be getting lots of love from your babies & DH. Best wishes and lots of hugs from your sisters!

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