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Unread 01-28-2012, 09:06 AM
Some regrets

I just wanted to let those out there who are not sure about having their surgeries, that it is important to get those second opinions and if possible try other options. I know some women really have to have these operations, but for those of us who are not in terrible pain or having the crazy bleeding or giant fibroids taking over our bodies, I just hope those women will for sure take the time to try other ways of solving their problems.
I was advised to have a hysterectomy because of a rapidly growing fibroid, which was inside my uterus and pushing on my back. I would sometimes have pain in my kidney area and lower back pain and sometimes other pelvic pain, but not all the time. I did have heavy bleeding, but only 2 days out of my 6-7 days. My periods were getting closer, but I was dealing with it fine. Sure having periods is not fun, but we all deal with it. I really had a hard time deciding to have the surgery or not. I did not get a second opinion and felt rushed into the decision because of fear of possibly losing our insurance at the time. I am now almost 7 months post op. I feel good physically, but emotionally I struggle. I think if I just knew for sure, that this surgery was really necessary, like if I had disease or something obvious, I would feel better about having had the surgery. But, I am having a hard time letting go. I have a hard time not regretting and I keep wishing I could undo. I know, I just don't want anyone else to feel this way, so I just thought I would tell you how I am feeling. For all those who have to have a hysterectomy, you should do what will make you well, but for those who are able to do something else or you are not sure, please get those second opinions and try other options. I do pray for all of you that the decisions you have to make will be clear and sure. I also pray for all of you have the operations that you will be healed quickly and feel good again. Thanks for reading. I am glad to have this site. It helps to know we have each other to talk to.
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Unread 01-28-2012, 10:01 AM
Re: Some regrets

That is really good advice! I had an ablation in 2008 & it worked very, very well for me, untill I started cramping all the time, my OBGYN thinks I may have had tubal ablation syndrome. I think anytime your going to have something major like this done you should talk with someone.
Unread 01-28-2012, 10:03 AM
Re: Some regrets

I understand the rushed feeling. I was afraid (still am) that I wouldn't have any insurance. I managed to squeeze in a second opinion and really grilled my dr. about why a hyst was better than other options, namely d&c with ablation. She answered all my questions and ran a couple more tests which verified that ablation wouldn't take care of my problem.

I'm sorry you are still regretting your surgery. Maybe talking to a counselor will help you move on. I know I have made choices I regret and have been able to resolve my feeling by talking to a counselor. I hope you find the answers that you need.
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Unread 01-28-2012, 10:43 AM
Re: Some regrets

That's good advice.

I noticed you had your ovaries removed. Are you using HRT? Sometimes surgical menopause will really throw you into an emotional upheaval and even if you are using prescription HRT it can take a while to get it right. Keep in mind that women who don't have hysterectomies and go through natural menopause very frequently experience emotional issues especially depression, anxiety and 'brain fog'. My best friend hasn't had a hysterectomy but has been an emotional wreck for several years. It took a lot of trial and error and finding a doctor who would give her compounded hormones before she started feeling better. Hope you are feeling better soon.
Unread 01-28-2012, 12:35 PM
Re: Some regrets

Dear db50,

I'm so sorry you felt pressured into this surgery. That's no good for anyone.

If it helps, you did have an obvious disease and it was causing some discomfort. To continue to regret something that can not be undone is hard on the psyche and I second Whirlygig's advice to seek counseling. I've sought the help of counselors in the past and have found it to be very helpful.

Take care.
Unread 01-28-2012, 03:49 PM
Re: Some regrets

I am sorry you felt so pressured...and as McLila pointed out, there was a problem. I had a small "problem" that became a big problem very quickly. A little discomfort became hours of excruciating pain 6 months after my ablation. I wish I had pressured my doctor into recommending a hyster and not bothered with the ablation. Please know that waiting could very well have been a much worse thing to regret. Many prayers for you.
Unread 01-28-2012, 04:42 PM
Re: Some regrets

Thank you helping us to see the importance of a second opinion. If anyone has any questions about the medical decisions they are facing, a second opinion is a MUST.

You made your decision and now you are second-guessing it. I certainly understand why you would feel that way if you felt pressured into making the decision in the first place. A number of people have suggested that you seek out counselling in order to come to terms with what has gone on for you. I would echo that sentiment, if the emotional pain of your decision is something that lingers and interferes with your life. If, however, you are posting here because you need a place to speak your truth where it will be heard and understood, then know that we all hear and we care.

An interesting truth that has helped me at many different points in my life is that depression is a natural part of any transition. Any time that we undergo such a major surgery, we have to also go through a transition in ourselves. For me, that has included going from unhealthy to healthy, fertile to infertile, peri-menopause to surgical menopause, and the list goes on. As well, I have thyroid disease so losing my ovaries has left my estrogen and thyroid levels unstable.

Dealing with the depression that accompanies transition looks like this: We need to acknowledge what we lost, mourn the loss, and then allow the new "normal" to take its place. It's during the time of letting go that we can become very sad, and there is a feeling of emptiness until the new experience becomes real for us.

Thanks again for your words of wisdom. I hope you find the support you need to help you deal with your emotional journey.
Unread 01-29-2012, 06:28 AM
Re: Some regrets

Thank you all so much for your caring and encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Unread 01-29-2012, 07:15 AM
Re: Some regrets

I am sorry you are feeling this way. My twin sister had the Novasure and a year and a half later she had a fibroid the size of a 10 week baby, She was so uncomfortable. They did a TAH 12 weeks ago. I myself had fibroids removed 2 years ago. The last six months my periods came back similar to yours. Heavy for a few days and more frequency. Not something I could not deal with. I am 43 myself and was so freaked out about having a TAH. I had a 5 min consult with my Uro/Gyn and he said I have an opening on in One week. He is a Chief surgeon and once a year performs the Surgery laproscopically with another Chief while students observe via a window. I own my Veterinary business and I could not be out for a long time. I agreed because I felt If I waited I would have to Have more invasive surgery within the year. I knew the fibroids were coming back. The surgeon found 4 3 mm fibroids and one through the Cervical wall. It has been Almost four weeks since my surgery and I do wish I had researched more and did not jump into it. I started working full time six days after operation so pretty tired most of the time. Today is the first day I have felt great.
Unread 01-29-2012, 07:29 AM
Re: Some regrets

this was severely stressed why my dr. didnt want to take ovaries.he said him being a man,he couldnt possibly understand what women went thru w/ surgical menopause but as a doctor.he sees it as a very bad option to push body straight into menopause.he said it takes very long time to find right product and amount for each woman to use.
my big regret was also not getting 2nd opinion dr. didnt find high amount of endo until during surgery. i had told him for at least 2 months of all my symptoms and he should've did better tests,i think and i shouldnt been brushed off with all symptoms i gave him.this worries me that he should've taken ovaries but he said endo stopped right before ovaries.but i didnt even know i had endo period.he was doing surgery due to extremely bad periods and didnt find anymore of my problems until during surgery.this shouldnt have happened.

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