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Unread 01-28-2012, 07:34 PM

I have a week and a half to go before my TAH. I've waffled with this scared feeling since I knew I'd have to have the surgery. I've come to terms with not having biological children, I'm not scared of the surgery itself since I've had an abdominal myomectomy, so I didn't know what I was so scared about.

Last night I broke down and tears because I figured it out. I'm scared that this surgery is completely selfish. I won't be able to work for 6 weeks which won't help our finances, I have to have my husband and/or other people take care of me and I won't be able to do housework or much cooking. To me this is horribly selfish.

I've never done something in my life that was just for me. I have 2 jobs and started a non-profit organization that helps orphaned children. I never take the time for myself. Now that I'm forced to I don't know if I can do it.

My husband assures me that we will be fine financially and that he has plenty of time to take off, but I can't help but think that I will be a burden. Maybe this isn't the right decision.
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Unread 01-28-2012, 07:42 PM
Re: Selfish

I have felt the same thing too.. I have already started to tell my family I was sorry for all the reasons you stated above.. but if we are not healthy physically, that makes us unhealthy mentally and that in itself is not fair to our families.. I think what you are feeling is quite normal.. Best wishes to you..
Unread 01-28-2012, 07:47 PM
Re: Selfish

Sounds like you have a good support system from your family.We as women need to be selfish with some things to better ourselves and our quality of life.
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Unread 01-28-2012, 07:57 PM
Re: Selfish

Thank you for being so honest about what you are feeling. I suspect that if you scratch the surface, the majority of us are or were feeling the same way. As women, we are really good at taking care of everyone and everything else in our lives, but we are far less able to put ourselves on our own priority lists without experiencing a great deal of guilt. In some ways, this is a sad statement, but I am also very proud of my capacity to love and show compassion for others. It took me a while to be able to accept that love and compassion from others. I still feel guilty, but I remind myself how good it makes me feel to help others, and I ask myself how fair I am being to my loved ones when I deny them the opportunity to feel that way by helping me. Just some thoughts, I hope they help a bit.

It sounds like you give a lot; give yourself permission to receive back from those who care.
Unread 01-28-2012, 08:02 PM
Re: Selfish

please dont feel like you're being selfish.the outcome is like 100% will make all aspects of your life better so you're not just doing surgery for yourself but every person you interact with.this surgery will make you better and you'll benefit and all people in your life will reap from its benefits even though you probably wont feel that way for many weeks to come but you're not being will be fine and you obviously have gotten supportive husband so take this time for you and him.hugs to u

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