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Can i cope on my own? Can i cope on my own?

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  #1  
Unread 01-30-2012, 07:50 AM
Can i cope on my own?

I do not have a date yet, but am having a TAH. I have 2 children a 17 year old and a 13 year old. Now, if I stock up on food before I go into hospital and plan well, can I manage on my own when I get out of hospital? I am getting my boyfriend to stay whilst I am in hospital to look after the children. My daughter can cook quite well and I get get some ready meals. I can always have a supermarket delivery to do more shopping. My boyfriend can only stay for a few days as he lives so far away and has a young son also.

So, can I manage at home on my own? Not that there's going to be much choice!
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  #2  
Unread 01-30-2012, 08:00 AM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

You and I both are in the same boat. My boyfriend lives with me but works 65 hours a week and starts at 3am and works till 6pm most days. I'm very lucky to have my 16 year old home with me every single day as she is getting home schooled. I worry about the added stress that she will have to do what "Mommy" does every single day, chores, cooking, ect...But it will all pay off for her in the long run, I'm going to give her some money to go shopping with. I woul think that your 17 year old would be willing to give you the helping hand, at least I would I hope. Sounds like you've got a good plan with things anyway. The best of luck to you!
  #3  
Unread 01-30-2012, 10:33 AM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

I think this is a great chance for your older teens to learn a little about being an adult. Talk to them and show them anything they need to be shown. Assuming they have a drivers license they can do shopping. If they don't normally go with you start taking them so they know how to shop.

The 13 yo can help around the house and cook too. A lot of what you will need is help with carrying stuff, bending etc. I didn't have abdominal but had to fend for myself during the day from day 2. I was able to make myself a sandwich and get drinks although someone else had to put dishes in the dishwasher for me.

I think you both will do fine and your kids will benefit from the experience. Sometimes it is so much faster for us to do stuff ourselves and our kids never get the chance to learn those skills.
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  #4  
Unread 01-30-2012, 11:56 AM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

I would say yes, you can manage with planning, especially as you have two people at home at various times. I had a TAH/BSO, live alone and managed well. Just make sure you follow doctor's orders regarding limits to lifting, bending, etc.

Put food at easy reach. Put dishes, utensils, glasses needed on the counter so you don't have to reach into a cupboard or bend into one.
Keep meds, drinks, snacks, phone on a table next to where you'll be spending most of your time. That may be the bed or more likely a comfy chair.

If you have a dog or cat, let the kids feed it and make sure to protect your tummy so they don't jump on you. Keep a pillow nearby, it's good protection and you can press it into your tummy if you cough or sneeze.

Assuming you have no complications you'll likely be cleared for driving in about 2 weeks.

You'll probably get bored and be tempted to do things that you see need being done (dusting, loading or unloading dishwasher, etc), but resist. Read books, watch TV.

Best wishes to you.
  #5  
Unread 01-30-2012, 12:03 PM
Can i cope on my own?

You'll be alright. ... my kids took care of me after my surgery. Their 18,13,and 12. Make sure u stock Some frozen dinner, snack u like so u Have something to eat while their in the school.
  Quote:
Originally Posted by April 1965 View Post
I do not have a date yet, but am having a TAH. I have 2 children a 17 year old and a 13 year old. Now, if I stock up on food before I go into hospital and plan well, can I manage on my own when I get out of hospital? I am getting my boyfriend to stay whilst I am in hospital to look after the children. My daughter can cook quite well and I get get some ready meals. I can always have a supermarket delivery to do more shopping. My boyfriend can only stay for a few days as he lives so far away and has a young son also.

So, can I manage at home on my own? Not that there's going to be much choice!
  #6  
Unread 01-30-2012, 12:09 PM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

Thank you. My 13 year old is a boy! He can cook pasta and he very reluctantly unloads the dishwasher (although nothing is put in the right place cos he can't reach the top cupboards). My daughter does not drive, but she is learning. It's just that I know if I ask them to do something, they won't do it straight away, and then I'll get cross and end up trying to do it myself. I find it very difficult to sit and do nothing when there are things that need doing.
  #7  
Unread 01-30-2012, 12:44 PM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

I wish i could give you some input. but i dont have my LAVH for another 2 weeks. But I can offer you hugs and good luck
  #8  
Unread 01-30-2012, 01:31 PM
Can i cope on my own?

Trust me April,you'll be surprise how amazing They can be trying to take care of u. My 18 yr. Is a boy so he pretty much did the cooking and he Just started driving. Two mos. Before I Went to surgery. He took me to the hospital Then he Went back home to take care of his brother and sister. I'm a single mom and I do Have a bf which is useless, so I Don't really care Coz I know I can rely on my kids. I had complication too on top of That. I'm 9 weeks post op. And my daughter helped me so much and she's the 12yr.old. I mean shower wise. Dressing me up, put lotion on my legs and brushing my hair. . Actually got spoiled LOL.. Just Don't get stressed if Your house is dirty or They behind with their chores. And Don't do it yourself Even u think u feeling Better OK. Those chores can wait. U only Got One chance to get Better so Don't u dare to screw it up. Not trying to be mean OK. I screwed up and ended up Going back to the hospital. Had another surgery two weeks after my hysterectomy. Thought I was feeling Better, Anyway way Good luck on Your surgery.
  Quote:
Originally Posted by April 1965 View Post
Thank you. My 13 year old is a boy! He can cook pasta and he very reluctantly unloads the dishwasher (although nothing is put in the right place cos he can't reach the top cupboards). My daughter does not drive, but she is learning. It's just that I know if I ask them to do something, they won't do it straight away, and then I'll get cross and end up trying to do it myself. I find it very difficult to sit and do nothing when there are things that need doing.
  #9  
Unread 01-30-2012, 03:23 PM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

Yes, Stock up on the basics to have twice as much as what you think you need. Don't forget to stock up on the things you just add to your list like toothpaste, toilet paper, paper towels etc. You know you will use it sometime. This will help prevent extra trips and minor emergencies. Also something I did not think of is having supplies on hand to take care of incisions in case they need extra care. Those plans in addition to the food etc you already mentioned should make it easier.

Most importantly when someone offers to help you (e.g., coworkers, neighbors, friends) - say yes. Start coming up with things that will help you, maybe it is meals, maybe shopping trips, helping with your children's needs etc. Just find a way to say yes.
  #10  
Unread 01-30-2012, 03:36 PM
Re: Can i cope on my own?

Kids can be amazingly resonsible when given the chance.

Invest in some litter pickers for when you REALLY must help, but let them do as much as they can, and lay it on with a trowel about how wonderful they are so they feel good.

My son was at home to help me, and did cooking and hoovering the floors. Bathroom was pushing it too much.

Turn a blind eye on things that are not done. It can all be sorted out later.
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