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frustrated with DH's not getting it frustrated with DH's not getting it

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  #1  
Unread 01-30-2012, 03:19 PM
frustrated with DH's not getting it

maybe i am just being overly sensitive, maybe i am just super stressed, maybe I am losing my mind. but i seriously want to punch my husband most days. i dont think he gets this whole adeno thing, regardless of how much i explain it. i tell him i am in pain all the time - it doesnt go away any more. and then he cant get why i cant go shopping for 2 hours or more, i cant sit through a movie, i cant even sleep through the night. he gets upset and takes it all personally. i tell him its not that i dont want to spend time with him, but i cant do the same things i did last year or even last month. we have 2 small children and they exhaust me. by 4 pm i am done, some days its by noon. my surgery is almost here. i hope he gets his act together so i dont have to listen to him whine while i am recovering.

just had to vent to people who might get it
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  #2  
Unread 01-30-2012, 03:53 PM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

Maybe he can understand surgical pain and recovery better, "female problems" are just incomprehensible to a lot of men. Maybe the misterhystersisters area or watching hyst videos will prepare him. Good luck, and vent any time.
  #3  
Unread 01-30-2012, 04:48 PM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

i've tried to get him to watch videos. and i am hoping that it becomes more real to him after i have surgery. right now he seems to be of the thought that if he ignores it, then it isnt real.
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  #4  
Unread 01-30-2012, 09:51 PM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

Can't say jim is like that but he knows that I feel like I have my period all the time and crampy, now to mention I can have WICKED mood swings. I told him when they swing, to say, "honey I love you, I'm going to the firehouse" at which point I turn and take myself to "time out" usually to the bedroom and close the door.
The poor dog on the other hand (our 90 lb. bullmastiff, sweetest thing on earth) got screamed at one day so bad she ran upstairs to her bed and cringed when I walked up to comfort her and apologies and give her a treat. All she did was walked in front of me when I was going to the kitchen. If I could separate my self from the evil, hormonal me, I would take her for a walk and get her and me away from me. and I have 43 days till surgery.
When I feel that mood or the sadness coming on I say a prayer to get me through it.

I'll say a prayer to help get you through this. Hang in there TeaLady.
  #5  
Unread 01-30-2012, 09:58 PM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

A quick question ladies I have mood swings too but i was told that was unrelated to my uterine problem and put on prozaac will these mood swings go away or at least decrease after the hysterectomy?
  #6  
Unread 01-30-2012, 10:03 PM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

I don't think my DH really 'got it' until my surgeon and nurse described adenomyosis after the surgery. Now, I think he understands why I was in so much pain.
  #7  
Unread 01-30-2012, 10:58 PM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

I had a biopsy 2 months before my hysterectomy. I remember being in a little pain due to cramping and asked DH to get something for me. He made the comment about how he and his military friends get sick of women using cramps as an excuse to get out of doing something. I lost it. He claimed he didn't mean anything by it, but we had it out right then and there. I let him know how much I needed his compassion and how I was not making excuses nor would I be after surgery. I sent him a link to an article that described the recovery process and I have to admit, he has been awesome during my recovery. He is pampering me and even though I feel pretty good, he is still 100% taking care of me (even though he caught a really bad cold).
I think that men really don't understand our female issues. They don't have to go through it so they will never understand it. But we can help them gain some sort of perspective on what we are going through.

I could only imagine how my husband would handle the kind of pain we go through every month.
  #8  
Unread 01-31-2012, 10:19 AM
Re: frustrated with DH's not getting it

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Novelist123 View Post
I had a biopsy 2 months before my hysterectomy. I remember being in a little pain due to cramping and asked DH to get something for me. He made the comment about how he and his military friends get sick of women using cramps as an excuse to get out of doing something. I lost it. He claimed he didn't mean anything by it, but we had it out right then and there. I let him know how much I needed his compassion and how I was not making excuses nor would I be after surgery. I sent him a link to an article that described the recovery process and I have to admit, he has been awesome during my recovery. He is pampering me and even though I feel pretty good, he is still 100% taking care of me (even though he caught a really bad cold).
I think that men really don't understand our female issues. They don't have to go through it so they will never understand it. But we can help them gain some sort of perspective on what we are going through.

I could only imagine how my husband would handle the kind of pain we go through every month.
do you by any chance still have that link? i would love for him to read it.
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