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New Confused, sad, afraid.  wow. New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

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Unread 01-31-2012, 02:18 PM
New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

I am from Toronto ON.
age 55, dx'd with pre cancerous tissue,
and polyp(s).

Found out Jan 3rd, surgery date March 8th.

Have SO many questions but find it hard to approach Doctor,
Some answers I don't want to know.

There is an E-mail address on his Business card, I am afraid to use it.

His secretary is always too busy to talk on the phone.

Maybe, when I go for pre surgery blood work, I can ask questions?

I feel like a number, not a patient.

Maybe I am over re acting.

I am SO afraid, I shake sometimes, just thinking of what's ahead of me.

I swing from not caring to sheer terror.

I keep thinking of worse case scenarios, ie cancer,

My friend tells me I am not cancerous, only pre cancer.

OK, here's a crunch, I care for my Mother who will be 91 March 5th.

She is confused, and a bit of a handfull

My son stays with us, he is 31, He will be in charge of my Mother while I am in Hospital.
for 5 days,

The post op info has me concerned, I feel doomed.
I feel I will not be able to rest,

We will have home care coming in.

Am not sure how much Home Care or for how long.

SO many questions,

I have learned a lot form this site, thankfully.

Sorry this is so long.

A friend will drive me to appointments, and take me home.

I have read of Sisters with small children and Husbands who are less than helpful.
How do we manage?

PS- have not had a second opinion, nor spoken with my GP.
Was basically in shock, then got busy doing house work.
I can't keep avoiding, only 5 weeks left to get things in

I feel doomed, This feels like a nightmare.
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Unread 02-02-2012, 11:37 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.


It is a lot to take in and such an emotional roller coaster. You aren't alone, I think we all have felt this way.

If your dr. provides an email then feel free to use it. I have a few drs. who like to communicate that way, they can do it when they have time and are great at answering questions.

I cared for my MIL with dementia. It is very challenging so it is good that your son will be there.

Make yourself a little island of recovery with things you want while in bed and try to let everyone else take care of everything else. It is very hard to let go and do that but you can and the world keeps running. Yes, I was amazed, we somehow all survived my surgery!

You still may have time to get a second opinion. It never hurts to do that.

You emotions are totally normal and they will probably be all over the place until surgery. After surgery I realized that waiting was the worst part.
Unread 02-02-2012, 11:53 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.


its hard, and i know you are scared, But Whirlygig is right. She gave some good advice. I am waiting for surgery as well. Just trust in the Sisters on this site, and let your fears out here. Its a great place.

as for how do we do it? we just do because we are women and we are strong.
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Unread 02-02-2012, 11:54 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

Oh goodness I know the feeling of waiting. I ended up getting a Sinus Infection and I am due to go in for Surgery 2/7/12 LAVH. I have decided against the Bladder Sling, to many disadvantages/problems I have read about out weighing the advantages. So I only have 4 days until surgery and I am a mess. Not sleeping well and I think I am having a WHOLE lot of anxiety!!!
Unread 02-03-2012, 12:26 AM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

Hello, fellow Canadian. I live near Vancouver. First order of business: make an appt with your family doctor to discuss this. Is the precancer on your cervix? If so, there may be other options before a hyster. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, scared and paralyzed. But it's time to get moving and ask the tough questions, get a second opinion, find a more compassionate surgeon. Don't let yourself be rushed into this, once it's done it can't be undone. You need to be somewhat at peace with it and willing to accept any complications or drawbacks since none of us get any guarantees with this surgery. Please do some research and ask specific questions. Feel free to message me privately if you wish. I'm wishing you the best, honey.
Unread 02-03-2012, 11:54 AM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

I am also a fellow canadian, I agree with Sugar and Spice about a second opinion and I also agree with Whirlygig. It is not an easy decision, is the reason you can not approach the doctor because you are afraid of what you will find out or because he is unapproachable? When I had my appt with the gyno i was in shock didnt ask much because i knew or thought i knew what was gonna happen. so I made an appt with my family dr who is more approachable and asked my questions, I took my DH for support he went over the procedure with me complete with diagrams, and expained everything I was more at peace with it, till after the surgery lol then I had more quesstions and again i went to my family dr who gave me the report of the surgery and later the report of the pathology, he did delay my return to work but not because of physical reasons but emotional and depression, Basically in a long winded way i am try to say, if you have questions then either email the dr and list them all off or make an appointment with a list of questions to the same dr, family dr or another dr for a second opinion. Just because they schedule surgery doesnt mean you have to accept it, you can make the decision to find another dr but you really need to have those questions answered first then the rest will follow, home care, help, etc. Good luck with your search for answers, if you would like you can also private message me if you need to vent
Unread 02-03-2012, 01:10 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

You really do need more info about your surgery etc. I think that fear of the unknown is the worst part of all of this. And the waiting for test results all the time. Your not alone and we care and understand what your're going through. It's nice that you will have Home Care after your surgery. I'm alos waiting for my surgery on Feb 17. I do have a dx of cancer but it's believed to be early stage. I really hope and pray for the best for you!
Unread 02-03-2012, 05:26 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

Seems to me from your details that you are managing most of this quite well in advance. Home care arranged, a son for additional help in caring for your parent, a friend to drive you. That's really all one can do, is manage this situation. Naught will make it go away which is what I wanted to happen when I was spotting nonstop and in pain and worrying myself even sicker. I was lucky, I was scheduled in within a week for surgery but I realize waiting is tough bec I waited a long time for my gallbladder surgery and that was scary because it hurt a lot by then and could've burst or been cancerous or caused pancreatitis.

My doc has email and I've learned to use it. Kind of shy at first but it got my questions answered within 24 hours mostly by call-back. Don't be afraid to ask those questions. You are doing all you can to cope.

If you want a second opinion, get one. It may help allay some of your anxiety and fears. I hope for you a routine surgery and uncomplicated recovery with good news.
Unread 02-03-2012, 07:49 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

It is understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and frightened. You've had the "C" word applied to your health history, and that is a very scary thing.

A second or even third opinion, and talking to your regular doctor, will arm you with more information and a better feeling about what is going on.

You may also find that you prefer one of the other doctors that you've gone to for another opinion over the one you are going to now, and that is absolutely OK. You need to feel comfortable asking your doctor questions and expecting honest answers from him, and you also need to feel that you are more than just a number to him. This surgery is going to change your life and it is going to present some challenges for you and your family a while until you heal.

Hang in there, girl. You'll get through this, and we'll do everything we can to help you.

Unread 02-04-2012, 02:45 PM
Re: New Confused, sad, afraid. wow.

Thank you all,
I have just found your replies,
I can't tell you how GOOD it IS to be heard,
I'm crying, in joy, and relief, such a baby eh?
I promise to be a life long member to help other Princesses .
I now feel I can go grocery shopping with out collapsing, (from fear)
If you gals went throguh this so bravely I might add, I will too.
Many Thanks, to all of you,

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