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I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

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Unread 02-01-2012, 09:41 PM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

What are the reasons your husband is concerned about you having the surgery? I think that it is your body, it is your call.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 09:55 PM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

Originally Posted by I Love Otters View Post
Pam, I hope you can regain your peace about this. i had mine b/c of bladder issues and i couldn't fix the bladder with the uterine prolapse, but also a family history of cancer. A friend of mine told me "rip those things out, once you're done with them they are just cancer magnets." I am 48 too, and my dr suggested it since I'd be menopausal soonish anyway. After reading that it is almost impossible to detect ovarian cancer for a long time, I decided I was ok with it. Thankfully my husband was very supportive having had an Aunt die of ovarian cancer.

Make your decision...you can always reschedule the surgery! But, it sounds like you've been through a lot and are ready to get on with your life! (something else a friend told me!)
Amen, sister! I'm 49 and decided to get rid of those cancer magnets myself. Glad your DH was supportive. It is our bodies.
Unread 02-02-2012, 01:58 AM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

Send him to misterhystersisters.com. I think it's a hard thing for men to understand. My husband was overseas when I made all my choices so he really was lost. His mother died of uterine cancer so I kept the worsening of my problems from him since two doctors where fairly certain minewas not cancer. I know sex for him was the biggest worry "I worry about your pleasure after" ummmm suuuuuurrrre you do. But I made up my mind. I'd give up sex for a better life, so that was a no-brained. My periods had left me energy less and housebound.

As for the my ovaries, I did end up keeping them......but they are fully healthy. I told the Dr too he better pour over them and if there is so much as a speck or dimple or one even pretends it might not be to take them out. I am only 34 though. Had I been older if have asked for them yanked.

As for pelvic radiation, no matter how hard they try, it really is a humiliating and in human treatment if it's vaginally. Plus you never know if it will work and there are other risks involved. Frankly it's the C word I say "buh-bye" but I know it's a hugely personal decision.

My digagnosis was dyfunctilnal uterine bleeding and fibroids. Mine where ern small and the Dr was fine with the hysterectomy. He is the one that encouraged me keeping my ovaries but even said ONLY because of my age. If I was doing this at 45 he said he'd just assume take them too.
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Unread 02-02-2012, 03:41 AM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

Hi Ladies:

Managed to get some sleep after I came here and purged early this morning. Thank you for all your incredible responses and messages of support. Last night was a real doozy and while I have the opinions of Dr's, plus my own intuition, it helps SO MUCH to have the input of other women - women who don't know me and can offer un-biased opinion and support! It may take a day or two to return to complete resolution, but I do feel strongly that having a hysterectomy will improve my quality of life - and have been told as much by others. I will be cancer-free, my menopause will kick in finally, I will use estrogen to combat symptoms.

My husband's concerns aren't necessarily sexual; after we calmed down last night we addressed that issue and I did say that nothing was really going to change for HIM with the exception of a possible low sex-drive on my part - I told him that if we found that was the case, we could address it and I could seek out female viagra (or whatever) if necessary. I did try to keep positive and explain that I felt we would experience a sexual rennaisance - freedom from pregnancy, birth control, periods is a turn-on in itself!

I think somewhere along the line he may have read one or two articles about the risks of removing ovaries - cardiovascular disease, the benefits of estrogen production past menopause, etc. He's not looking at the big picture though. While I am not genetically predisposed to heart disease, I am most definitely pre-disposed to cancer in lots of forms. Although statistically ovarian cancer is a long-shot, it's still there in the back of my mind - I'd rather remove the girls.

He thinks I'm being frivolous in putting my body through surgical trauma simply because my perimeno is uncomfortable and annoying. HE hasn't fainted in the sidewalk in 22-degree weather because he is so overwhelmed with heat. I added that hot flashes carry their own cardiovascular risks. Also said "suppose that happened while I was driving?"

And finally - he's scared. He's scared I won't wake up. He's scared of the long-term effects of anesthisia. He's afraid the estrogen will make me "un-even" (ha! like I'm 'even' NOW??...pffft) I know darn well that when he walks into the hospital room on tuesday and sees me hooked up to a bunch of stuff, it will undo him, and my husband, stoic Brit that he is, is terribly afraid of coming un-done.

He absolutely agrees that this is MY body and that only I (and to some degree, my doctors) know what's best. He said he has resisted speaking up because he knows my reaction would be exactly what it was - frustration and defensiveness (I am really tired of the whole ovary debate).

So there ya go. I'm going to call my Dr. this afternoon and run through all of this with him one last time, just for peace of mind but I think I'm still on board for Tuesday surgery.

Thank you again for your amazing support!!!
Unread 02-02-2012, 09:31 AM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

Well, I have to say i was afraid of the "unknown" too, so can't blame hubby too much. Can he be with you when you call the dr or at your pre-op appt? I have had horrible emotions during my periods...typically ending with my yelling like a banshee and then in tears. i found some an herbal med that helped me with it the last few years; but with the HRT so far (knock on wood) I haven't had the crazy ups and downs. I'm only two weeks out though.

The friends I know who have had a hysterectomy have not had any problems with sex...a friend of the friend said that they were like newlyweds. I hope that's the case for all of us!!!!

Hang in there!
Unread 02-02-2012, 10:08 AM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

Ok - just got off the phone with Dr. who said, given the exact same circumstances, he would make the exact same recommendation to his own mother, daughter, wife, sister....He said my doubt and worries and now hysterical crying are all completely normal. He even said to come see him tonight if I needed to talk some more. (Almost all Dr.s here work out of their homes - you don't go to a medical building).

I fel better, but I think I AM gonna have to cry this through and get it out of my system.
Unread 02-02-2012, 07:20 PM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

fishchick-this is not about your husband, it is about YOU! You've done your homework, you have made your decision, now be at peace. I had my hyst because of post-menepausal bleeding after battling breast cancer. I never have to be scared witless again being told I could also have uterine cancer. It was a no brainer for me to lose all the girl parts! I stand behind your decision 100%. What would the hubby do if he was told he had prostate cancer? He'd fight like heck to get well. He has just realised this is going to happen, so now he feels he should worry.

You have one big support system here, so you might just let him read our replys. We have been there-done that, and made it through to enjoy the new lease on life we've been given. You will too! Keep us posted; our thoughts and prayers will be with you.
Unread 02-03-2012, 09:55 PM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

I watched my mother die of ovarian cancer. Years before, I would not have thought to have a total hysterectomy, but after Mom died, I thought about my fibroids, and I did research. It always comes back to you, for you are the one who has to live with it-- your husband does too, but not quite the same way. It is possible hubby is sacred now as the surgery date is quickly coming. I will say for me, I still like sex; though I admit it takes me longer to get aroused, but we still have the same sex life we did before the surgery. Two days before the surgery hubby and I got into an argument. I think it was stress. Hang in there.
Unread 02-04-2012, 09:13 AM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST

Don't know if you are a Dr. Who fan or not, my daughter has gotten us hooked. I just glanced at your message and read "i called Dr. Who". He could fix us all with his sonic screwdriver! Maybe I need to take my pain pill!
Unread 02-04-2012, 10:32 AM
Re: I need a pow-wow & I need it FAST


Yes. I called Dr. Who and he's going to put me in the Tardis and fast-forward me to 8 weeks from now.

hehehehe you made me laugh!!

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