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I feel like all I do is whine I feel like all I do is whine

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  #1  
Unread 02-05-2012, 05:20 AM
I feel like all I do is whine

Sometimes it feels like all I ever do is whine about this whole thing, but being up at 4:30am on her day off, tends to make Lori a grumpy bear. I haven't slept right in months, I mean months, my body feels like a stranger to me, I've been bleeding or spotting non stop since the last cone procedure, and now, I'm being woken up out of my sleep with cramps that feel like some little fool with a sledgehammer is running around my uterus with an anger problem. There is nothing like waking up to Aunt Flo's announcement that I will be doing laundry today...even with the "overnight" pads it looked like some horrible scene out of nightmare on elm street. Ok, so I'm being a little over-dramatic, but UHG! I remember when I would fantasize about winning the lottery, now I fantasize about being able to own a pair or WHITE underwear.. (sigh) how times have changed.
I have a little over 3 weeks to go until my TVH, I'm terrified, yet I'm impatient all at the same time. I read the stories and sometimes I'm encouraged, and other times I am scared out of my wits. I worry about my, already peanut sized, bladder and if I'll be able to control myself after the support has been literally removed from under it. I'm already having hormonal issues to include hair loss and weight gain (EEEKKK) even though my doctor has said he is going to try to salvage my ovaries ( I'm starting to feel like an old pick-up truck "salvage") My regular doctor doesn't seem to be as concerned about the hair loss and weight gain as I am,..in fact, she actually asked me if I was pulling out my hair and binge eating when I went to see her about it. I wanted to look at her and say "why yes doctor, although I was doing these things, I needed to drive an hour to your office, take time off work, humiliate myself, just to get confirmation that these type of activities would make me fat and **** near bald" Suffice to say, NO I do not binge eat nor pull my own hair out. After checking my thyroid levels, she says,..your fine, you're just getting older, you don't need much more than a sandwich as you get older.. I wanted to smack her in the face. Then of course she hands me a flyer for a program that the VA has that would require me to drive that hour I mentioned before, once a week to a nutritional program, that I could have written myself to "help" me lose weight. What about my hair doc?? Why is there blood in my urine doc? Oh,.and by the way doc, nice miss on the cervical cancer doc...
As you can tell, I'm just venting a little. Like I said, I don't want to whine, I don't talk about this stuff to people in my everyday, but I figured that this is what this site was for. Thanks for your ears (or should I say eyes) ladies....
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  #2  
Unread 02-05-2012, 06:09 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

Lori,
I feel for you sweetie! I really do. I put on 20 pounds in less thana month this past October. I had a my thyroid checked and was becasue mine was fine, (like yours), I was told it just happens. 20 lbs!!!!!!
The hair loss could be due to stress, or hormone levels. I was under a considerable amount of stress one year and my hair thinned to the point that i had 2 bald spots, one up front and one on the crown of my head. Mine has all grown back and I look normal again.
Is there another doctor you could see? Or are you limited due to military reasons? ( noticed the VA comment)
I really hope you start feeling better. Hopefully your hysterectomy will be like your fairy godmother waving her magic wand, and it fixes all your problems.
.....and don't feel bad about venting we've all done it!
  #3  
Unread 02-05-2012, 06:53 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

Bananahater, I'm a disabled veteran, with a limited income and no other medical coverage, so the VA is my only option. I'm SOOOO glad that I'm not the only one with this hair issue. I know it sounds vain, but I can almost overlook the fact I could supply a pack of vampires with all the bleeding, The cramping, or even the weird way that people act when they first learn that I have "woman cancer" but the hair thing,..UHG! I'm lucky enough that my occupation allows for me to keep my head covered a majority of the time, and since my military days, I've always kept my hair very short, I would have looked very un-natural showing up to work suddenly with gorgeously long locks that shifted when I scratch my head. My mother seems to think that the hysterectomy will be the answer to my prayers. I'm hoping for the best, it's just nice to have a place where I can vent and be a little sarcastic about all the issues that this life event has brought on.
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  #4  
Unread 02-05-2012, 08:02 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

I can relate on the military doctor issue. I was married to someone in the USAF for 9 years. They can be stressful to say the least. One good thing about my military experience is that it lead me to the dr I have know. He used to be a military OBGYN, but went to the civilian world to practice. I followed him! He has done all of my surgeries and is doing my hysterectomy as well.
Try to look for the silver lining and then focus on that.
Best wishes!
  #5  
Unread 02-05-2012, 08:09 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

Lori,

This is the place to vent, we understand! Oh yes, I remember wanting just one nice pair of white undies or how about sheets that didn't have stains. It is very nice not worrying about what the aunt will ruin next.

The hair thinning I had seemed to be due to hormone
fluctuations. I lost at least 2/3 of my hair. I think age is a big factor too. Keeping my hormone levels nice and flat by using HRT seems to help. The docs don't seem to care much about it. You just get that look.

Thank you for your service. !

and s
  #6  
Unread 02-05-2012, 08:39 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

Oh my do I understand how you feel! After my TAH I've told DH we're getting a new Mattress, ours is old and stained. White undies - LOL what are they?? Looking forward to emptying out my period undies drawer & buying a ton of fancy white ones!
As for the sleeplessness and weight gain - lands if only someone could find a cure for all us ladies that get the "it's your age" answer.
There's light at the end of the tunnel, once your procedure is done & over with. Hang in there & find comfort in knowing your not alone.
  #7  
Unread 02-05-2012, 10:32 PM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

They should make a Hallmark card to congratulate you when you can buy your new pristine, white panties. I was over the moon when I bought my new undies! I pitched all the yucky ones and the gigantic granny panties I wore during the first few weeks of recovery. It was a glorious day. Since my dVh/BSO and starting HRT, my hair and complexion has done a complete 180. My hair just looks and feels so healthy and my skin looks youthful. In reality, my skin has become very dry over the years, but it's no longer stretched with pain from all the pre hyster trauma. The hyster will be a good thing, I promise.
  #8  
Unread 02-06-2012, 06:24 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

Sharona, I sure hope so. I'm running out of hats, and no hair product in the world can make this thinning mess look decent...and oh what a joy it will be to go through a day without having an "opps" moment and having to run to check if I have ruined another pair of underwear...lol. Unless Dear ole Aunt Flo is planning to dig in for the remainder of the month (which she has been known to do) this should be my last visit from her EVER (hope I didn't just Jinx myself) I look forward to the shopping trip after recover for my first ever pair of frilly white panties... And I HATE to shop! lol
  #9  
Unread 02-06-2012, 10:19 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

I want white underwear too! and i want to not pee my pants when i laugh and sneeze. I want to walk to the school to pick up my son- not drive! I could make this a very long list. I am sure that you have a long list as well and thats ok.

You are not a whiner. You are a woman who is fed up and tired of not having a "normal" life! so you whine and scream and vent as much as you need to. you are more than entitled. we all are

**HUGS**
  #10  
Unread 02-06-2012, 10:42 AM
Re: I feel like all I do is whine

Too funny... I never thought I'd comment ANYwhere about wanting white panties. But oh, can I relate!! I had my TAH 3 days ago, and am still wearing a maxi pad... and I have no idea why. I had the tiniest bit of bleeding on day one after surgery, and none since. I've bled for so long I don't know how NOT to wear a pad!! Pretty sick, huh? (Ambling off to the bathroom to see if I can psych myself up enough to ditch the clean pad -haha. Wish me luck?).
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