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Date set...Now I'm scared (children mentioned) Date set...Now I'm scared (children mentioned)

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  #1  
Unread 02-06-2012, 08:54 AM
Date set...Now I'm scared (children mentioned)

(***CHILDREN MENTIONED***)Let me first say thank you to everyone already that has been so helpful and supportive in the short time I've been on here. No one in my family has even gone through so i have very little support. This and it is something I must get from my fathers side of the family. I'm the only living female from that side and my grandmother had her's back years before they knew what endo was. My mother's side all have looked at me for years wondering why I would have such problems with my period when all of them were as regular as clockwork yet I never was. My first period at 13 lasted 6 months straight with pain followed by a 2 week break and another 3 painful months. It's never been normal except just after I had my kids.
My Dr has been trying to get me to have my Hyst for almost 4 months now and i have put it off till finally I'm living off of pain meds. I can't walk (even for a trip to the grocery store) without a ball of pain after. I have to be active with a 4 & 6 yr old and being a single mother. I have let too much go in the house and I am not good with being a couch potato.
I was told during a 2 month run around of it's this and that finally ending with a lap, I have endo. scaring on my ovaries from multiple cysts and i lost one of them that day with an expectation I would need to decide if i was going to ever have more children or have the hyst done. Since all this with treatments of lupron and special diets and a period that still will not stop, it is time to bite the bullet. they want to remove it all and rebuild my bladder since my uterus is fused to it. I also have endo on my colon and bladder. I have had a few girls suggest that i could also have andyo?(sp) I guess a biopsy will tell for sure.
Now that I've set the date as 3/6/2012 10am the fear is setting in. It is really setting in. I have had a knee surgery, back, and 2 c-sections and none of that has scared me as much as this. I live alone with my 2 boys. my mother lives over an hour away and all i have is my friend and boyfriend to help.
I am scared of letting go of the reigns of my life. In all the years i have never let anyone be in charge. not of me, my finaces or my boys. Not even my ex husband. I'm all they have and if something goes wrong what will happen to them. I'm scared enough that I made a will just as a back up.
Maybe I'm over reacting about all this but although I know with the issues I'm having I will feel like a new woman...or so i hope, I am finding myself try to make excuses not to do this.
Anyone think I'm completely off my rocker?
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  #2  
Unread 02-06-2012, 09:09 PM
Re: Date set...Now I'm scared (children mentioned)

Tarirae - You are NOT off your rocker. All of your feelings and your reaction to this surgery are completely normal. This is MAJOR SURGERY with removal of an important organ. The doctors and nurses are well trained professionals. They will take very good care of you and they will see you through the surgery.

I won't lie to you. Recovery from this surgery will take a while. You will need help around the house with basic items such as dishes, cooking, cleaning, driving, etc. I know it is hard to let go for a little while. We are all such strong, independent women. But, you will need to heal right - and you only get one chance to do that. You will be very fatigued after the surgery, so you will not feel like doing much anyway.

Keep posting, sweetie. This is a hard surgery to deal with at all levels. We are here for you and understand what your are going through.

(((Hugs)))
  #3  
Unread 02-06-2012, 09:19 PM
Re: Date set...Now I'm scared (children mentioned)

I don't think you're off your rocker - you are a concerned mom, and if you weren't thinking about what would happen to your boys should something go wrong, I'd question your feelings for them. It is good that you've made preparations for a worst case scenario.

Still, prepare for the best case, too, since that is what happens most of the time. Get your home ready for your recovery, get your in-home help lined up (you're going to need it for awhile, especially with boys in the house), and be ready to manage it all from your recliner.

What kind of surgery are you having? Laproscopic or open abdominal? I am three weeks post-op from the open abdominal and I can honestly say that the worst part for me was before surgery, when I was wondering what it would be like and what would happen. To combat that, I focused on how I was going to feel after recovery, and by George, I'm already feeling better than I did before surgery. I knew as soon as I woke up from surgery that the pain from the endo was GONE. I had pain, to be sure, but it was a different pain, from the incision and being cleaned out, but I somehow knew that it wasn't a fixture in my body like the endo pain had been. I hope that you have the same experience.

Like marestail says, if you have any questions at all, ask away. If you need to vent, do so. That's what we're here for.

:cathugs:
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