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Need a friend - need to vent Need a friend - need to vent

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Unread 02-06-2012, 06:12 PM
Need a friend - need to vent

I feel lousy today. Blue beyond blue. I'm at about week 8. Still not back at work because I have some odd abdominal pain (runs from my belly button to my pubic bone) - I start physical therapy on Valentine's Day.

I cry at the drop of a hat. Doctor put me on antidepressants and sleeping meds because I am so down and also because I have insomnia so bad.

I've been getting out at walking. Did 3 miles today and now am hurting.

I set up a group of people to "call if I need help" after surgery...called all of them because I needed help and no one EVER returned my calls. I have a great hubby who's been here for me...but I needed/need my girls. And now they're asking me to help them with their problems again...(and just found out the reason I couldn't get a hold of one of them is because she took her family on vacation out of state - and just didn't - and I quote - "well, I was having fun, I didn't think you'd really NEED me - you DO have a husband".

I feel so alone. I know I'm not, but I feel that way.

It's been so hard on me because not only am I grieving because of the loss of my uterus...but I always wanted to have kids...and now...I will never be able to have children myself.

I can't afford to be off of work anymore, but I can't do my job to the full capacity either (I def. can't lift over 100lbs on a regular basis).

Anyway...I just needed to get this off my chest. I feel hurt, alone and abandoned.

BUT - I love and care for all of you...and you all have helped me more than I ever expected...'tis why I came to you all now.

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Unread 02-06-2012, 06:21 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear you're in the pits. I am 7 weeks out and I still have a hard time with a lot of things. I expected to be back on top by now. And those days I wake up hurting still discourage me to the max.
I totally understand the being alone. I haven't had anyone here to help me my whole recovery. Everyone said they would and once it happened no one had time I guess. So I've sucked it up and dealt with it. But it doesn't mean we don't hurt from it still.
If u ever need to vent or talk you can holla at me anytime. You aren't alone god bless and a big ol hug
Unread 02-06-2012, 06:36 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I really feel for you. Although I did get some calls and visits, they were from those I hadn't counted on, and my supposedly closer friend let me down and I haven't seen her since. Guess you find out who the true friends really are, and it's a surprise. I'm sorry those friends let you down. But you do have us! I hope the meds kick in and help you soon and I hope you feel better soon. Sending hugs.
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Unread 02-06-2012, 06:41 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I am so sorry to hear that both of you are having so many problems. It can be really tough as you recover. I have been there and done this. I can tell you that we are always here for you. It will improve as you heal. And I totally get what you are saying about working. It gets to be hard but let yourself recover.
Unread 02-06-2012, 07:01 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I am so sorry that your friends have abandoned you. Its sad that we find out who our true friends are when times get hard. I have found that out during my recovery. The ones that have come through for me are the ladies from my church. I am thankful for them. But the best help sources have been my hyster-sisters. I am amazed at how good it feels when i am on this site, i feel like i am just a post away from other women who are going through the same thing. And better yet....they actually care!!! And a hysterectomy is such a personal surgery, only our sisters truly understand. So, my sister, i am here for you, along with all our other sister here. To your friends who seem to have suddenly forgotten about you....shame on them!!! Sendinf love, hugs, and support to you. I, too, cry at the drop of a hat. You are NOT alone!
Unread 02-06-2012, 07:08 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I am sorry you all are feeling that way but I have also felt that way too. I found it was because of the interaction with other ppl other than family. If there is anyone you can make a coffee date with even if it is with hubby to get out in public. It can be hard I know cause I dealt with and am dealing with depression as well. I would cry nonstop and I also have been put on antidepressants. it can be hard but am learning to cope, i try not to use the pills unless i have to if i am out or at work. at home i let it cry out. my method may not work for everyone but if you ever want to talk or vent private message me. I am a good listener lol but seriously feel free to message me
Unread 02-06-2012, 07:26 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I guess It's times like this when u find out who your true friends are, my best friend had never rang or called once, you are right to be hurting, thank goodness for this site eh. I can't advise on the hormonal aspect re depression but i no sleep deprivation makes me weeps too. You are not alone and support is only a few taps away, xxx
Unread 02-06-2012, 07:40 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I am so sorry to hear that you feel so alone. I have been on pristiq for several years and not sure I could have made it through - I still have bouts of depression but I am now see how fortunate I am to have have such a great support system! Please, if you can't get help from your friends or family - go see someone! You are not alone! At least you have your sisters here - we will help u!

Unread 02-06-2012, 08:09 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

I had a partial hyst. In aug. My husband was out of town (it was emergency) n I was home with 4 kids, ALONE! I got very bitter n angrysuddenly no one knew my phone #. Most of my family has live with me n I have fostered 5 of their kids, but no one showed up! Thankfully one neighbor (whose wife was sick with ms) helped out tons, a friend of my husbands from the gym (a guy) did my grocery shopping! I cussed out all my family n "friends" on facebook, even some by name! Then deletd my facebook. it felt good!!! I didnt even call them at the holidays much less let them mooch our holiday. I have since decided to forgive but am still not ready to do any favors, I learned to say no when asked and to even say why. I was hurt, n they deserve to know.
Unread 02-06-2012, 09:17 PM
Re: Need a friend - need to vent

It is true that you find out who your real friends are in times like this. One close friend has hardly spoke to me since surgery and doesn't understand how difficult it is. She told me pre op to stop having a "pity party" for myself and suck it up. And then I got constant texts from my DH's niece asking how I was and did I need anything. And even though I had my amazing DH and DS helping me I still felt completely alone. I cried so much post op it was unbelievable. I am so sad to give up my uterus and I miss my sex life. I'm glad you're talking to your doctor about how you feel. Hang in there, I'm 6+ months post op and it does get better. Sending you hugs.

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