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  #1  
Unread 02-07-2012, 09:49 AM
The "look"

I was reading on another post about that "look" doctors give us sometimes - in my case, ALWAYS gives me when I tell him about my bleeding. My OB/GYN was wonderful during my pregnancies and births. He has a good bedside manner. But it was another thing when I started bleeding heavily and found out I had fibroids 2 years ago. I complained about the staining, the pain, the night sweats. Another round of hormone therapy (pills). I went through many different types: tricyclics, low estrogen, Seasonique. Nothing helped. All I got were blotches on my face from the bc pills. This last visit to him, he gave me the "look" yet again, and I am certain, an amused smile. He offered the depo shot to stop the bleeding or a hysterectomy. He even told me "I'm not laughing at you, Lydia, it's just that the blood is bright red because of the fibroids. It doesn't mean anything bad necessarily." I was stunned. Really? For the first time ever with him, I had visions of shaking him or strangling him! (I wouldn't, of course). I could tell by that "look" from the doc that hysterectomies weren't his thing. I was relieved when he referred me to a surgeon who specialized in laparoscopic hysterectomies. He said he wanted me to see this surgeon to "see what they recommended". Imagine my surprise when I met HER. Her name is foreign, so I assumed this GYN was a "he". I gave her the same information. It was an entirely different experience. She listened intently. She was understanding and her recommendation was a hysterectomy due to the multiple fibroids, some which had grown considerably. She did say that it was up to me because the Depo shot could postpone it, but eventually the same symptoms would come back. When I told her that I had mentally prepared myself for this and I was ready, we scheduled the surgery. She told me my uterus was the size of a 12 week gestational pregnancy. She didn't give me the "look" at all! I'm a little sad about eventually not returning to my former OB/GYN, who I have gone to for 15 years. But, I have decided it's time. My surgeon is a GYN and she didn't discount my complaints or experiences. All I know is I am done with the "look"!

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  #2  
Unread 02-07-2012, 10:05 AM
Re: The "look"

For many years I had light periods. Then I had a "heaviest period of my life" and suddenly a light bulb went off in my head------THIS was what women were talking about when they had heavy bleeding. I had never truly understood before I experienced it (and had a GYN who understood, checked for anemia, and gave me meds in case I needed them again). I think some Drs never get that "aha" about how bad it can be, not just some male Drs but some female, too. So you get the "look". Thank goodness some of them get it, I'm glad you found one who does. Sometimes giving you a referral is the best thing a Dr can do.
  #3  
Unread 02-07-2012, 10:11 AM
Re: The "look"

Oh boy - Do I ever know that feeling when someone finally takes you seriously and offers education, advice and HELP! I'm so glad you found that someone.
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  #4  
Unread 02-07-2012, 10:24 AM
Re: The "look"

I got that look when I went for a PAP last month. I told the midwife I went from light, 3-day periods to having monthly nightmares and I swear she rolled her eyes. She said I should consider myself lucky for all the time I had easy periods and now it is time for the real ones! She wrote it off as an age thing!! Then she took a look under the hood and said, "Your uterus is falling out, fyi. Get a hysterectomy."
I was so put off by her demeanor that I found another office altogether.
  #5  
Unread 02-07-2012, 11:12 AM
Re: The "look"

Shutterbug, I am glad to hear you are going to someone else. Like someone else mentioned it isn't necessarily the male docs that give us the "look". I neglected to mention that he also chocked up my symptoms as the age thing, too.
  #6  
Unread 02-07-2012, 11:16 AM
Re: The "look"

I suffered for many years with my HEAVY periods and pain. My DR offered no surgical options to me, we justed tried differing hormonal therapies. She said that this was how it was and menopause wasn't that far away, so I would just have to get through it. I trusted her because we'd been through other big medical challenges together. Well, I moved and had to start with a new Dr. She's awesome! She asked if I would like a gyn referral to get help with the bleeding etc. I met him and went over my history. He said none of this was normal and ordered an US. Long story not so short, I had multiple softball sized fibroids as well as cysts and polyps. It wasn't exactly a second opinion, but a new set of eyes changed my life. I had a dVh/BSO 10/20/11 and I feel wonderful, fantastic!!! My uterus weighed 11.6 lbs. I should havbe pushed my first DR about treating my period symptoms more aggressively. I just thought all women were like me.
  #7  
Unread 02-07-2012, 11:20 AM
Re: The "look"

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedwig934 View Post
I was reading on another post about that "look" doctors give us sometimes - in my case, ALWAYS gives me when I tell him about my bleeding. My OB/GYN was wonderful during my pregnancies and births. He has a good bedside manner. But it was another thing when I started bleeding heavily and found out I had fibroids 2 years ago. I complained about the staining, the pain, the night sweats. Another round of hormone therapy (pills). I went through many different types: tricyclics, low estrogen, Seasonique. Nothing helped. All I got were blotches on my face from the bc pills. This last visit to him, he gave me the "look" yet again, and I am certain, an amused smile. He offered the depo shot to stop the bleeding or a hysterectomy. He even told me "I'm not laughing at you, Lydia, it's just that the blood is bright red because of the fibroids. It doesn't mean anything bad necessarily." I was stunned. Really? For the first time ever with him, I had visions of shaking him or strangling him! (I wouldn't, of course). I could tell by that "look" from the doc that hysterectomies weren't his thing. I was relieved when he referred me to a surgeon who specialized in laparoscopic hysterectomies. He said he wanted me to see this surgeon to "see what they recommended". Imagine my surprise when I met HER. Her name is foreign, so I assumed this GYN was a "he". I gave her the same information. It was an entirely different experience. She listened intently. She was understanding and her recommendation was a hysterectomy due to the multiple fibroids, some which had grown considerably. She did say that it was up to me because the Depo shot could postpone it, but eventually the same symptoms would come back. When I told her that I had mentally prepared myself for this and I was ready, we scheduled the surgery. She told me my uterus was the size of a 12 week gestational pregnancy. She didn't give me the "look" at all! I'm a little sad about eventually not returning to my former OB/GYN, who I have gone to for 15 years. But, I have decided it's time. My surgeon is a GYN and she didn't discount my complaints or experiences. All I know is I am done with the "look"!

I know what you mean. I saw the same GYN for 30 years. He delivered my 23 year old daughter. I loved him and the only reason I left him was because he moved his office an hour away from my house! I was sad but it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. I started going to a group of all women and that's when I was told that my fibroid had grown to almost the size of my uterus and I should do something. My other dr diagnosed my fibroid years ago and just kind of left it up to me that if it didn't bother me, we could leave it. Well, I didn't think it did bother me because I just accepted that I was a heavy bleeder and (like the Jamie Lee Curtis commercial) that was my "normal." It wasn't until I switched drs. that I learned it didn't have to be that way. And that hysterectomy didn't have to be a bad thing. Now, everyone who has already been there (including two of my three younger sisters) are telling me how great I'm going to feel. I just can't wait to get it over with. I have been mentally prepared for weeks now!
  #8  
Unread 02-07-2012, 11:32 AM
The "look"

The first moment I thought, you were talking about my doctor. He played with me for 7 years and gave me this look every single time. But finally I didn't want to wear black pants anymore and went to a female Gyn last October. And see, where I'm now. Day 18 post surgery and fine!
  #9  
Unread 02-07-2012, 11:34 AM
Re: The "look"

Darla, Ill be thinking of you tomorrow! Glad to hear you found a doctor who understood. It is a relief!
  #10  
Unread 02-07-2012, 11:36 AM
Re: The "look"

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Housito View Post
The first moment I thought, you were talking about my doctor. He played with me for 7 years and gave me this look every single time. But finally I didn't want to wear black pants anymore and went to a female Gyn last October. And see, where I'm now. Day 18 post surgery and fine!
Glad to hear you are doing fine!

I hear ya' about the black pants! I have so many of them! I'm ready to start wearing my favorite light-colored pants.

Cheers!
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