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Getting my things in order Getting my things in order

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  #1  
Unread 02-10-2012, 05:04 PM
Getting my things in order

Hey Sisters,

I am getting ready to go in for my TAH + bladder lift on the 21st of February. The whole pre-op house cleaning idea is quite daunting to me -- don't get me wrong, I love a clean & tidy house, but it has never been something I've ever been very good at, and with a large family (6 kids, from 21 yrs to 18 months), quite frankly it would be a full-time job and I wouldn't have time for anything else. That said, I will get the basics done, especially in my recovery spaces where I plan to spend most of my time. But that's not what I wanted to share, lol.

Like most of the ladies here, I have fears that the surgery won't go well, or that they'll find cancer and it'll be much worse than the very early stage cervical cancer they already removed and "cured" me of last year. I think I am keeping it in perspective -- neither of those outcomes are very likely, but with life experience I also know that sometimes you get dealt a really bad deal. In keeping those thoughts in mind, I have finally completed my will, and included all the necessary details that I want my loved ones to know and consider. Honestly, the process has been very liberating and has lifted a heavy load off my shoulders! Is that odd or do any of you feel the same way? It was an emotional and draining process at times, but has left me feeling like nothing has been left unsaid or undone. For the most part I tell myself that everything will be fine, and I'm not really ready to leave at 44 years old (is anyone ever ready?) and leave my family behind, but knowing some of those things have been made a little easier for them, I feel much better going into this. I highly recommend the will-writing exercise!

How have the others felt about it?

Best wishes to all my sisters here
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  #2  
Unread 02-10-2012, 08:53 PM
Re: Getting my things in order

Our surgeries are on the same day, but I believe we've noticed that before on another thread

I think whatever makes you feel at ease and settled is exactly what you need to do. I have OCD and General Anxiety Disorder, so I can really let fear grip me in the most abnormal way. What I've learned though is I can't let fear run my life. It takes work sometimes.

I caught myself feeling a little melancholy earlier, but I quickly remembered the pain that I experience monthly. My perspective suddenly gets in order!

A day or two before my surgery I will do some major house cleaning - floors and bathrooms. It will make me feel better to do that. I won't feel like my family will be too overwhelmed while I'm recovering.
  #3  
Unread 02-10-2012, 09:09 PM
Re: Getting my things in order

OMG, it seems like we all have the same fears about this. I fear I will not make it through the surgery and I will be leaving my two young children with no mommy but then I think about the pain im in all the time and I know this is the right decision especially since ENDO is linked to cancer and cancer runs through my family like wild fire, so by getting this done now I could be saving myself from the cancer outcome and could be saving my life by fighting this early.
I am also planning on cleaning like crazy this week to make things easier on my loved ones. I also made alot of different dinners and froze them so they can be taken out and shoved in the oven for a quick easy home cooked meal, if i didn't do that im sure we would be ordering food every night LOL, can't afford it and Not Healthy for the Kids....
I just found this site yesterday and I already feel like part of this big family, we truly are all in this together !!!!
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  #4  
Unread 02-10-2012, 09:12 PM
Re: Getting my things in order

I am glad you got your will done and that puts your mind at ease. DH and I did our will about three years before this occurred. But, I told him some instructions if I did not make it. Give certain heirlooms from my mom's estate back to my oldest sister. That also put my mind at ease. Before I left for the hospital, I gave my cats an extra pet and hug, said a mental good bye to them and the house. I also gave DH a kiss to remember me by when they kicked him out of pre-op.

Regarding your house cleaning, what gets done gets done, and what does not does not. Also, when you are in recovery - NO HOUSE CLEANING for about 8 weeks. A clean house is not important.

I had a risk of cancer as well - all was benign for me. Hopefully yours will be the same. I know it is hard, but take this one step at a time.

Good luck to you... (((Hugs)))
  #5  
Unread 02-10-2012, 09:19 PM
Re: Getting my things in order

  Quote:
Originally Posted by cconniee View Post
OMG, it seems like we all have the same fears about this. I fear I will not make it through the surgery and I will be leaving my two young children with no mommy but then I think about the pain im in all the time and I know this is the right decision especially since ENDO is linked to cancer and cancer runs through my family like wild fire, so by getting this done now I could be saving myself from the cancer outcome and could be saving my life by fighting this early.
I am also planning on cleaning like crazy this week to make things easier on my loved ones. I also made alot of different dinners and froze them so they can be taken out and shoved in the oven for a quick easy home cooked meal, if i didn't do that im sure we would be ordering food every night LOL, can't afford it and Not Healthy for the Kids....
I just found this site yesterday and I already feel like part of this big family, we truly are all in this together !!!!
Hi CC, can you elaborate on the endo/cancer link? Are you talking about the estrogen dominance? I am in the same boat as you, fearing leaving my beautiful boy. But I'm also wondering if I don't do it now, will it get worse...please elaborate if you care to.
  #6  
Unread 02-10-2012, 09:26 PM
Re: Getting my things in order

I wonder if our husbands would attend in the same way to pre-operative house cleaning? <g>

I totally get it. I to have been updating "documents" - just in case. But then I write "just in case" letters whenever I am going on a plane trip.....hmm.... catastrophist or just a well prepared person who wants the last word?

Really, it always makes me feel better because it forces me to focus on what matters. Then, what lands in a letter usually makes its way to my lips!

And honestly, thinking ahead - from housecleaning to paperwork - reflects the same kind of thoughtful attention you are giving to managing your health and the genetic bounty from your family.

Give yourself a positive power point!
  #7  
Unread 02-10-2012, 10:04 PM
Getting my things in order

  Quote:
Originally Posted by greenie1111 View Post
Hi CC, can you elaborate on the endo/cancer link? Are you talking about the estrogen dominance? I am in the same boat as you, fearing leaving my beautiful boy. But I'm also wondering if I don't do it now, will it get worse...please elaborate if you care to.
I have only read very little about it online, I was going to post a link to a site about it, but im not aloud. But you can search it easily.
I believe it's a small chance, but to me especially with my family history, its enough to scare the crap outa me. :-/
  #8  
Unread 02-10-2012, 10:46 PM
Re: Getting my things in order

Hi CC--I just looked it up. I also have a lot of cancer in my family and this is a concern for me too. As far as I can tell, a hyst. will not necessarily mitigate that, but could possibly help. I wonder why we can't post links...that would be helpful. Anyway, that is one of the things I keep telling myself--if I don't do it now, things could get worse. The fact that they call it "elective" really messes with my head, if they'd just say definitively, you need this, then I would be way more at peace.
  #9  
Unread 02-11-2012, 05:55 AM
Re: Getting my things in order

Nice to know many of my sisters here are feeling prepared like I am. I can't change what will happen by worrying about it, but I can take control of my paperwork and feel comfortable knowing that my loved ones will have an easier time with that.

Greenie1111, I hate the "elective" word, too. I am having a hysterectomy because I had cervical cancer and they are telling me I need to do this (they almost flipped out when I refused in the beginning), but yet at my pre-op they are very quick to tell me that this is elective surgery and I could get postponed! I certainly didn't sign up for this! In medical terms, elective is scheduled (for any reason, could be very serious) and emergent (or emergency) surgery means you have an acute situation (like a car accident). I run into the same problems with interpretation all the time because I teach prenatal classes and the elective or emergency c-section debate usually comes up.

My older kids are self-sufficient and my husband will be home to care for my younger ones (4, 3, and 19 months). My littlest one is still breastfeeding, so that'll be a little tricky in the first few days of recovery. I'm hoping my husband will be able to bring him to the hospital at least once so he doesn't forget Mommy -- I want to nurse him for as long as possible (until he leaves home, lol) and enjoy that part of mothering. I could be in at least 3 days, so I'll use a pump to preserve my supply for him (I'm a lactation educator too). Staying focused on the logistics of it all with my paperwork out of the way is helping me to stay busy & positive.

Yes Four Seasons, I'll be thinking of you on my day, that I'm not alone...we'll do it together, ok?

Cconniee, it's a great site, isn't it? You are definitely a valued member of the community!!

Marestail, no worry with me wanting to do housecleaning before 8 weeks, lol! I might try to do other stuff, but housecleaning won't be a temptation ha ha ha.

Anraku, awww, what a nice way to look at it, as a reflection of how I'm also taking care of my health. I like that. Thanks.

Thanks for all your input!

Best wishes to all for a great recovery and a new chapter!
  #10  
Unread 02-11-2012, 07:54 AM
Re: Getting my things in order

I am also having a TAH and bladder suspension. I have been so worried about the house and taking good care of my pets (no little kids).
My hubby is taking next week off to stay home with me and my sister is staying with us to help. I also will be doing all of my cleaning tomorrow and Monday and surgery is on Tuesday the 14th.
I have decided to let things go or I will go crazy, I am a clean freak but I can let that get in the way of healing so.... not going to freak out and just let hubby do the best he can LOL
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