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Depression setting in Depression setting in

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Unread 02-16-2012, 05:35 AM
Re: Depression setting in

Try not to give yourself such a hard time re. the depression. As someone pointed out to me; your mind and body deals with the whole hysterectomy experience in a kind of "order" - the pre-surgical stress, the surgery itself, the initial post-surgical recovery... then at some point it goes "okay - so now deal with THIS" - the emotional side.

I had my surgery last August and I really thought I was doing fine. Then around the beginning of December I noticed changes in my moods and it got steadily worse. I was crying all the time, very moody, stroppy, didn't want anyone near me, I felt like I was constantly on my last nerve - it was horrible. In the end I went to my doctor and she's put me on some medication to just take the edge off for a while - they're mild but OMG the difference is major. I'm still very tired and have the physical recovery stuff going on but I'm able to rationalise and cope with it better.

Take your time - allow yourself breathing space - you've had a major trauma to your body and it affects us both physically and emotionally. But don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it; I'm so glad I did! Sometimes we have to admit that we can't do it all ourselves.
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Unread 02-17-2012, 10:25 AM
Depression setting in

I truely can relate as well. I never expected to have to be stuck so long. I tore my sutur inside. N am stuck with an in home health care nurse coming to change my wound everyday. I am suppose to be on a wound pump. Which really sucks. I am a Month behind in my classes at collage. I'm going fir my ba in graphic communication. My husband just went back to work day befir yesterday. N I am going nuts. He was always driving me crazy. But I miss it now cuz I am here alone all day. I have went out to the walmart once. The day before valentines day. It wore me our so bad. I stayed in bed the whole next day. We didn't celebrate at all. I just want my life back. I like the idea of finding a new job. Being in school is different. Cuz u r never around the same people for very long. I can't wait to go back. Hope after spring break. My surgery was the 12th of January. N I am still stuck in the bed. Its miserable. I'm sharing my story with u. To tell u not only r u not alone. But it could b a lot worse. My hospital was right next to the children's hospital. N it use to make me feel pretty weak for crying over a little hole in my stomach. Watching that mefda flight chopper leaving everyday. Knowing they going threw a lot more then me. But ur feelings r natural. Hormons r a mf. Excuse my language. But u really have no control over them for a while. Just keep ur head up sis. We r all Jeremy for eachother. N that helps so much. Just to b able to get it out. Helps a lot.
Unread 02-17-2012, 10:26 AM
Re: Depression setting in

Here for eachother. Not Jeremy for eachother. My phone has pre text. Sorry
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Unread 02-17-2012, 11:40 AM
Re: Depression setting in

2 weeks 4 days out. Feeling depression symptoms myself but I had depression and anxiety issues before surgery. I can't watch TV... I cry.... I can't talk to my kids without crying.

You are going through something completely normal. We are all here for you.
Unread 02-17-2012, 12:19 PM
Re: Depression setting in

First of all, I have to say I love this site. I am day 8 post-op from hysterectomy, bladder sling procedure & reconstruction of vaginal & rectal walls. Today I felt myself sinking into depression! My boyfriend is clueless when it comes to helping out. He didnt even make me a cup of coffee. He figured he made the pot of coffee so I should be happy. He leaves his crap (undies, etc) all over the floor and since clutter drives me crazy, I end up picking up after him. He is trying but needs to be told every little detail what to do. I feel he should be able to pour me coffee without my asking. UGH!! I also suffer from anxiety from time to time so that doesn't help.

I've been crying all day & don't know what to do, but it helps to read these posts and know I am not alone. One good thing is I received a package from my sister who lives far away. She sent me a nightgown & robe set in a really nice spring color. It made me smile!! I have the greatest sisters & aunt, but they have jobs and cannot be here every day. They do check in, though. All I have is "Mr Clueless" and I'm starting to resent his lack of understanding. His ex-girlfriend had a hysterectomy a while ago & she bounced back quickly. However, she was at least 20 years younger than I am and didn't have all the procedures I had. He keeps comparing my recovery to hers.

I think I may go to my sister's for the weekend. At least I'll get some understanding & rest. Sorry this post is all over the place & so long, but it is therapeutic. Best wishes to everyone who are experiences difficulties. I'm hanging onto "This too shall pass"

Unread 02-17-2012, 10:17 PM
Re: Depression setting in

I know what you are feeling. It does make it a little better to know that we really are not alone in this. I am nine weeks post op and back to work. The first six weeks I was fine, but then I went back to work and that is when my world seem to crash. I have never been depressed and it just made me mad to think I could not control my emotions. My friends also stopped contacting me, but now I know that was fine because they would not know what was right or wrong to say. The first two weeks back to worked I cried every day, and most of the day. When my husband told me my boys wanted to know what was wrong, that is when I decided to get help from my doctor. I am still working with the doctor and am trying to find things that I enjoy to bring my spirits up. This site helps and talking to other women that have been there makes me realize I am not alone. Good luck to everyone and we will all heal together.
Unread 02-24-2012, 12:01 PM
Depression setting in

Darlin u really need to not pick up after him. Ur risking urself. I had my whole incision open. N now I am stuck at home in bed for at least another month. I got pretty lucky as far as my man stepping up. I was really surprised at how much he did. N its his duty. U take care if what man everyday. Its ur turn. N as far as comparing surgery. It wouldn't matter if u had the exact same procedure. Everyone heals differently. A lot of factors r involved. Age weight health. N much more. I would have to sit him down n explain it to him. Better yet have your doctor speak to home. Either way u need full time care. I would definitely leave if he can't step up. I hope this post does not find u to late. U can message me if u need to talk. I got a few more things to say. I really shouldn't post. Because they r not to kind. But u deserve to b pampered right now. N my fiancee is a very self centered individual. N 10 years younger when me. N even he did what needed to b done. I'm so sorry u have to deal with such bs. He needs to b put in check
Unread 02-25-2012, 10:13 AM
Re: Depression setting in

I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I have to go back to work in two days but I still feel lost. I had to have the hysterectomy because I could have developed a sarcoma of the uterus but I wasn't ready, especially as I don't have kids and always wanted to. I know I should count my blessings, I could have died if the cancer had developed, but I can't see it that way yet. Everything feels negative. Will this pass?
Unread 02-25-2012, 10:23 AM
Re: Depression setting in

I think it's all totally normal, we've all been through major surgery, and one of the most life-altering a woman can go through. I don't feel depressed, more just anxious at times - My journey to hysterectomy started with an early breast cancer diagnosis/surgeries/radiation this summer - I want to feel good with the hysterectomy behind me (and overall I do, for all the physical monthly-related things I won't miss), but I am sitting here worried about the mammo and MRI I have coming up in three weeks and terrified I'll be back on the roller coaster. I am trying really hard NOT to live like that, and to live more in the moment instead of in the fear, but it's hard For those of you who mentioned the friends not being there, I never knew I had so many friends who had had hysterectomies before now! And THOSE are the friends who keep checking on me because they have been there (here). My other friends have been nice but they really don't get it (which I don't blame them for, I wouldn't have gotten it so much either before I had my surgery). Anyway, bottom line, just very grateful this community exists online Wishing everyone brighter days ahead!!!

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