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Separating from husband Separating from husband

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Unread 02-26-2012, 02:22 PM
Separating from husband

I am almost 4 weeks post op and now I have the stress of separating from my husband. Our marriage has not been solid for awhile but we have stayed together and tried to make it work. We have been together for almost 4 years. My parents do not like him because he has not had a stable job during any of this time. He has worked and helped out financially but our living has gone down tremendously. We have had to give up nice cars and homes and get stuff that was crap. I could not keep up financially to stay on top of everything. He tries to find stable work but nothing comes about. Doing temp jobs and self employment was not good enough. So pretty much my marriage has been strained. So now I have no car but we were planning on getting one with tax money. We have gotten rid of some monthly payments and have been working on our finances. We have had some added stress of his dad and a friend staying here. So I have decided to move to my moms and get my life together. My mom is going to help me get it all together. My husband is going to go to school and work on job stability. We will remain in contact and see what happens. My heart is breaking and so is his. This is very hard for us both.

Sorry so long. Just needed to talk.
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Unread 02-26-2012, 02:54 PM
Re: Separating from husband

Shawna, I am so sorry that you are going thru this! It is a very difficult time for the both of you! I hope all works out for the best!!!
Unread 02-26-2012, 02:56 PM
Re: Separating from husband

I am sorry for you having to deal with this after your hyster. Is it possible to avoid separation? It seems hard to believe that being apart would be helpful. Anyway, I will pray for you and your hubby.
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Unread 02-26-2012, 03:02 PM
Re: Separating from husband

Hun I'm so sorry you're going through this at this time. Im sending (((hugs))) your way. I hoppe things will be resolved for whatever's best for the both of you!
Unread 02-26-2012, 03:23 PM
Re: Separating from husband

I'm so sorry for ur situation, I will pray for u both!! Hang in there, hugs!!
Unread 02-26-2012, 03:49 PM
Re: Separating from husband

Hope everything works out for the best for you - such a lot to deal with, especially right now. My heart goes out to you. Just remember, you don't need to make any long term decisions today, while you're tired and low and vulnerable...just get through now, leave doors open if you can, for when you're feeling stronger. God bless, xxx
Unread 02-26-2012, 04:01 PM
Re: Separating from husband

So sorry to hear your news! Its a tough economy for many. God bless you and your future decisions.!
Unread 02-26-2012, 04:33 PM
Re: Separating from husband

Thank you all for your wonderful replys, thoughts and prayers. The separation is mutual and needed. We will talk daily and work on our own lives. Only time will tell if we will be together in the long run.
Unread 02-26-2012, 10:35 PM
Re: Separating from husband

Unless the Dad and friend are paying a fair part of expenses I would make them move and see how things go. That's just my opinion. Marriage is hard!!! We have been married for 13 years (I'm 33) and we have two kids. Oldest just turned 5 last week. I honestly think that we have fought more since having kids. Not just think I know. I don't know if our marriage would have survived if we had had kids early on like we tried. Guess God does know what he is doing

If he is losing jobs for not showing, bad attitude, not being productive, etc. Then perhaps he is not ready for a marriage. If it is truely from lack of oppertunity for employment due to the bad economy then that is something a marriage has to work through. My husband has to pull more weight than we thought he would. We dated almost 3 years before marriage. We married I worked and went to college. I have a ton of health problems and became permently disabled early in our marriage. Crummy part is that we opted for me to go to college first, which I did and earned a BS degree, but now can't work. I do bring in some income b/c I am disabled BUT it is not even 1/4 of what I would be earning with my degree. Now we struggle with medical expenses, a child that has to have speech, pt, ot, and developmental therapies b/c of a complication during labor (preterm) that cut off oxgyen, and my husband is now at age 37 going to college part time and working.

All that to say, marriage is hard with each having their own hardships, and I hope you guys can work it out. Only you know the situation (as far as is he being lazy or not). I for one do not count laziness in the for richer or poorer part of the vows lol I hope this doesn't sound mean b/c it is totally not meant to be but know that sometimes words don't come off the way they are meant to be read. Good luck to you!
Unread 02-26-2012, 11:16 PM
Re: Separating from husband

Hi Shawna, I'm so very sorry to hear this is happening, and so close after your surgery too. We have the same surgery date. You're not healed yet either. I hope thinks work out with you and your hubby. Will you see him every once in a while? My best wishes to you.

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