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Surgery this Tuesday March 6 Surgery this Tuesday March 6

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  #1  
Unread 03-03-2012, 01:53 PM
Surgery this Tuesday March 6

Hi, I am a 37 year old mother to two children, ages 9 & 11. I have a 6 cm fibroid that has been making my life miserable for the last two years. I typically bleed all of the time, every now and then I get a break, I haven't bled in about 3-4 weeks now, praise God. I have had several bad episodes due to my fibroid that has caused severe hemorrhaging, anemia, and a few trips to the ER because the bleeding would not stop on it's own. During these episodes I will "drop" clots that are almost the size of my hand. I've been in the store, at work, etc. and out of no where, the hemorrhaging begins and goes right through my clothing. I am exhausted all of the time, cannot work and suffer from chronic constipation that may also be caused by the fiboid. I had scheduled a myomectomy for last month and cancelled because of reservations I was having. I've was told by two dr's at the women's clinic that I attend, that the chance of another fibroid or fibroids returning is great. I am terrified at the thought of needing multiple surgeries and the thought of needing a hysterectomy anyway made me decide to cancel the myomectomy and schedule a hysterectomy. I am not having anymore children, my boyfriend of 5 years recently had a vasectomy and we plan on becoming engaged soon. Alas, the thought of not being fertile, even though I am not going to become pregnant again terrifies me. Is this something any of you ladies have experienced? I am so worried my depression is going to worsen after the hysterectomy and that I will go downhill instead of "feeling great" like so many women have promised me I will feel. I know there is no going back after a hysterectomy. My boyfriend's sister recently had a hysterectoromy and is only 34. She needed one because of breast cancer and wanted to prevent cervical and uterine cancer. She said her surgery was a breeze and the recovery was fast. She went to Walmart 2 days after her surgery!!! My mom had a hysterctomy at my age, abdominally, and told me that I am being silly for being so emotional and that I should be looking fwd to no more periods, bleeding, pregnancies, etc. My boyfriend assures me this is the right surgery for me, that it will be the last one I will ever need to cure my problems. (no chance of fibroids returning) I would love to get your feedback on my situation. I apologize for rambling, but I know you all need the info. to give me your advice. I am not sure if I will have the courage to go to the hospital Tuesday morning for my surgery, as my anxiety is "throught the roof." I am in need of reassurance/adivice. Thank you in advance, I hope to receive many of your replies. Hugs, Heather in Louisiana
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  #2  
Unread 03-03-2012, 02:44 PM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

Hugs. I think it's normal to feel nervous and conflicted! Only you (in consultation with your doctor) can decide if a hysterectomy is the right decision. You do have some compelling considerations! I've learned through this experience that every woman's experience is unique. Every woman will experience her own emotions, recover at her own rate, and feel how she feels on any given day. And however she feels is okay. So if you mourn the loss of your fertility, it's okay (and you have lots of company). And it's probably a good idea to NOT go to Walmart 2 days after surgery! Best wishes to you and big hugs.
  #3  
Unread 03-03-2012, 03:17 PM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

You can do it. Just remember that it's all for the best. It's normal to be scared and nervous, just try to think of it as something that will make your life better.

Good luck.

Lots of prayers.
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  #4  
Unread 03-03-2012, 04:01 PM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

A hysterectomy should be done as a last resort, only after all other options have been exhausted. If you are not 100% comfortable with your decision, cancel your surgery. Research all your options and make your decision. While most women do fine after a hysterectomy, there are some who will have complications, either long or short term.

Your mom and your boyfriend are all for it, but it's YOU who has to be the one who makes this decision. And remember, you can cancel right up until the time they wheel you into the operating room.

This isn't an emergency surgery. You have lots of time to do your research. Best wishes to you in whatever you decide.
  #5  
Unread 03-03-2012, 05:02 PM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

You and only you can know if you truly have exhausted all other options. If hysterectomy is all that's left, and if you do decide you want to go for it, fear doesn't need to hold you back. Right up to the morning of surgery I wondered if I could go through with it. I lay in pre op, and prayed for courage & asked my guardian angel to help me (I only mention this because you referred to God in your post!). I instantly felt calmer, and able to trust that things would be ok. I'm 17 days post op now, and can honestly say that so far at least, what I've experienced will be well worth an end to the hemmoragging that was blighting my life, and my family's lives. Only you know if it's the right decision, and the right time for this decision - but if it is, you CAN feel the fear and do it anyway!!
  #6  
Unread 03-03-2012, 05:13 PM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

I, too, think it is normal to feel confused and emotional. This is a major decision not to be made easily. You cannot undo this.

Pray about and talk to your doctor. I could not even make my decision until after talking with my husband about it first; he said what are you waiting on? He wants me to feel better. Even my doctor saw my hesitancy and was not pushing me into it. He suggested I come back in 3 months. (Most of my hesitancy was because of finances - Ugg; sorry insurance.) However, I wound up going back into his office and seeing him again after speaking with my husband by telephone (he was at work). It was funny, I was sitting in the exam room and when he found out I was there, he stuck his head into the room, while going to get my chart, and with a smile on his face he said, "Y'all talked."

So now, I feel confident in my decision, but nervous and anxious about the procedure. I am now ready to get this over with so I can be on the road to feeling better!!

Remember, we are hear when you need to talk/vent and also, if you decide to have the surgery this Tuesday, that is also my day! We can get through this together!
  #7  
Unread 03-03-2012, 09:22 PM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

Rainbow,
I understand exactly how you feel. I desperately didn't want a hysterectomy. I couldn't even speak to my doctor about it without weeping. I have no idea how I signed the consent papers and walked out of his office. I worried about being infertile, if sex would still be pleasurable, if my DH would still want me. I worried that I wouldnt feel feminine or feel like me anymore. I cried constantly during the weeks up till my surgery. I cried while they started my IV, while the anaesthetist spoke with me, and while they wheeled me into the OR. I cried while my surgeon held my hand and talked to me. You get the idea. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever been through. And it didnt get easier after surgery, it was harder for a while.

If you're certain you want the surgery I suggest a talk with your family and make sure they understand what this all means for you and that you need them on board supporting you. I don't know what kind of hyster your BF's sister had but I have a feeling you won't be going to Walmart 2 days post op. I could barely get myself to the bathroom and back to bed for the first week. Recovery isn't easy. And I'm worried she's going to be constantly comparing your recovery to her's.

Counseling pre op may be a good idea also to help prepare yourself for your emotions post op. I really wish you well and I'm sending hugs. We understand and we're here for you.
  #8  
Unread 03-04-2012, 07:13 AM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

After years of horrible pain and heavy bleeding, I made an appointment with my OB/GYN to discuss a hyserectomy mid January. Then the first week of January, I bled so heavily I ended up in the hospital needing 4 units of blood. And while I *knew* I wanted a hysterectomy and it would likely be the only solution for me, I still broke down in tears when I asked my dr for it. He suggested ablation and some other things first. Those failed and I ended up back in the hospital Feb 13 and had my surgery Feb 16.

Some of my friends and family were upset that the dr didn't do the hysterectomy in January when I originally said I wanted it done. But that month really helped me come to terms with everything. I was lamenting my loss of whatever fleeting fertility I had at 43yrs old. I have no biological children but I have two wonderful boys that my partner gave birth to through sperm donation (I am a lesbian). Everyone told me to be happy for the blessings I have. And I am, I really am. But it still doesn't mean I didn't mourn the loss of my ability to have a biological child. And some days I am still a little saddened by that. But 2 weeks post op, I feel so much better and already so much more present in the life I have.

I love the pp suggestion of making sure your family is supportive of those feelings. While I understand people trying to make me feel better by saying I already have such a full life, it doesn't make my feeling of loss any less real. Yesterday while discussing things at a family function, my partner chimed in and said that while she is happy I am so much healthier that she too feels for my loss of fertility. It felt so good to hear her say that and validate my feelings. So maybe talk with your family and tell them that while you understand and appreciate the advice and support that they have already given, that they need to be very supportive of this feeling of loss and not to just brush it aside.

Good Luck. My original surgery date was March 6th and had to be pushed up and now that March 6 is almost here, I already feel so much better.
  #9  
Unread 03-04-2012, 08:12 AM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

Hi, there. I totally understand how you feel and maybe my story will help.

I have had long, irregular periods since I was 12. I took the pill to control the bleeding for 10 years. I had three babies back to back via c-sections. My periods were heavier after each pregnancy. I have many days of spotting before my period starts. I usually bleed a total of 10 to 14 days a month. I've always had bad cramps. Even while on the pill as a teen, the doctor gave me anaprox and donatol for cramps just so I could go to school. Now after baby number three, I cramp every day. The daily cramps aren't bad, just a nagging annoyance that feels like I'm about to start my period every day. I have 3 to 4 bad crampy days during my period.

I went to my doctor after this third baby complaining of the heavy bleeding and cramps. She had me try the pill once I was through breast feeding. My first period on the pill was much lighter (though it was still heavier than a normal period). Then my next period was a touch heavier, and the next one heavier. I tried the pill for about 5 months but each month kept getting heavier, though still not as heavy as when off the pill. But the pill scares me. I'll be 36 this May. Strokes run in my family.
I have had 3 visits with my OB/Gyn trying to find a solution for my bleeding, cramping, and birth control needs. Before the 3rd visit I prayed. I asked God to give my doctor the wisdom to recommend what will be best for me, my marriage, and my family. My doctor's answer was hysterectomy. I was uninformed about hysterectomies at the time, so was only thinking of the positive. I was over the moon when I thought about no more periods ever. No more fear of unwanted pregnancies (dr feels a 4th c-section would be very unsafe for my body). It sounded like the perfect solution. I was scheduled for my hyster on Dec 20th of 2011.

I made the mistake of going online. I wanted to learn about the recovery so I could prepare. I found the HERS site (don't go there, ever). I learned about the uterus contractions during orgasm (never heard about this before). And panicked that at 35 years old, my sex life would be destroyed my this hyster. This was extremely stressful because a poor sex life wouldn't just be a disappointment to me, but it would negatively impact my marriage, which would also affect my kids. I completely panicked and canceled my hyster.

I started researching ablation and thought that Novasure with a tuabal would be a better answer for me. I went back to my doctor and told her I wanted the ablation and a tubal. She looked at my ultra sound and my history of symptoms and said she'd be more than willing to try the ablation, but she told me that her gut is telling her that I have adenomyosis. My uterus is enlarged. Knowing that my uterus is not normal and that my symptoms fit adenomyosis was enough to tell me that an ablation wasn't right for me. I've read horrible stories of women who had adenomyosis and had ablations, only to end up begging for hysters because the ablations not only failed, but made things worse. It really felt like my doctor, and God, were telling me that a hyster is just what's right for me.

Now, I am at peace with this decision. I think my fears and panic before came mostly from shock. It felt like this whole thing was happening to someone else and I was in denial. I've never ended up in the hospital with heavy bleeding or with terrible cramps, but I do end up spending days on the couch with a heating pad each month. I down played my symptoms, mainly because I've lived with them so long. I stayed glued to my house when I'm on my period because I'm afraid I'll have an accident away from home. I'm extremely grumpy when I'm cramping.

In a perfect world, I would choose to keep my uterus. But this world is not perfect, and neither is my uterus. I wish I had a healthy, properly functioning uterus like all of my girl friends that have normal periods without pain, without heavy bleeding. If I could choose my treatment option, it would be a magic wand that would fix my uterus. But that is not an option. The only thing that will solve my bleeding and cramping at this point is to remove my uterus. Now that I'm looking at it from that perspective, I'm ready.

My hyster was scheduled for March 6th, but now I have a nasty cold, so they rescheduled me for April 24th. This time I'm ready and looking forward to the pain-free and period-free chapter in my life.
  #10  
Unread 03-04-2012, 11:02 AM
Re: Surgery this Tuesday March 6, I don't know if I can go through with it

It is totally normal to feel everything you are feeling. I have 4 beautiful healthy children that I thank God for everyday, my husband had a vasectomy 2 years ago, but the thought that I would never carry a baby again (even though we were done with our family) was very difficult to wrap my mind around.
I also have had episodes of bleeding with clots so large I found myself thinking I should call an ambulance. For me, that was just no way to live. This did not mean that I did not worry and second-guess my decision all the way up to the moment I scooted my butt onto that operating table.
Like was previously said, this is major surgery and you and only you have to be 100% (or at least pretty close) confident in this decision. Do your research, talk to your doctor, and then make this decision for yourself. Don't let others pressure you into it.
And no, Walmart day 2 is not a very good idea. I am 12 days post op and can't even imagine doing more than walking a lap or two around my living room.

Saying a prayer that you find peace in making the best decision for you.
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