Scheduled TVH Finally have my date...kind of numb... | HysterSisters
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Finally have my date...kind of numb... Finally have my date...kind of numb...

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Unread 03-04-2012, 05:04 PM
Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Hi ladies. I finally got my date! May 1st. I am having a total vaginal surgery. I feel really kind of numb. I feel relieved, anxious, scared, thankful, and .... well with all these emotions, I tend to shut down. So, numb it is.

I was "diagnosed" with adenomyosis back in the fall, but I suspect with the symptoms I actually have had it for several years and I simply cannot handle it anymore. I have always thought of myself as a strong person, but this makes me feel like a whiny sook!

I have been taking SupreFact nasal spray (as well as low dose estrogen so as not to completely put me into menopause like symptoms) for 3 months now to shrink my uterus before the surgery, and I am so ready to be off this roller-coaster of hormones! I still have breakthrough bleeding, and, at times, horrible pain from the adeno.

I really am relieved, but I almost feel like I am losing such a big part of who I am. My husband has been so unbelievable supportive, but it is hard for him to talk about everything with me because he is a rather logical person (I really am not!) and he doesn't really understand the feelings of loss I am going through.

Anyway, I read a lot of posts on here and I must thank each and every one of you. Knowing that I am not alone in this has been so very helpful!

Now.... we wait....
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Unread 03-04-2012, 06:01 PM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Your feelings are completely normal and valid. This is a rough one to deal with emotionally. I desperately wanted to keep my uterus and felt that my fertility was tied to my femininity and sexiness. I am very much a girly-girl. Would I still be one? Would I still feel like me? Would my DH still be attracted to me? Almost 8 months post op, I'm still working on these feelings. And I miss my uterus and my periods.

This is just something we need to work through. It's good your DH is supportive. Mine is being amazing. He Understands this is very difficult but doesn't really get why. Communication is very important. For a lot of women we get more emotional post op for a while.

A hyster isn't a quick fix to our health issues. It's a long journey we must go in in order to feel better. Wishing you luck.
Unread 03-04-2012, 08:48 PM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Hi NavyWife,

Having a your uterus removed is a very emotional surgery, before and after. Your feelings are very valid and quite normal. Like surgarandspice, I still am dealing with a sense of loss, I am in mourning for my uterus and ovaries, I miss my periods, and I am trying to cope with not having that part of me anymore. I still feel less feminine, and it bothers me that that part of my life was taken from me due to health issues beyond my control. It is not the way any of us planned it.

I am glad DH is supportive, and so is mine. But, this is not something that they can comprehend emotionally. We are here to help you, and we understand what you are going through. Get on the site and post your emotions, fears, questions, etc. It really does help.

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Unread 03-04-2012, 09:22 PM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...


My date is set for May 14th, and although I will not miss my periods in the least, I am glad I have plenty of time to get used to the idea. I was shocked at the grief and sadness I felt when faced with a hysterectomy. I was so down that day. I laid in bed the whole next day like a big lump, vegging and watching TV, and I think numb is a good word for it. I was just bummed for days, and I'm still getting use to it 2 weeks later. I find the process mystifying and bizarre. We have never conceived, and at this point I have no desire to, so you'd think it would be no big deal. I look at my relatives who've had hysters, and think they are still the same to me (no less female or girlie) but why then when I think of myself do I feel a loss of girlishness? There is so much attached to this organ I can't even see! Anyway, thanks for putting words to some of how I feel. I understand what you're going through. At least we have great husbands through this.
Unread 03-04-2012, 09:30 PM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

to you Anne. You will get through this and we will be here for you.

And big to Marestail, my true sister, one of the few people in my world who understands how I feel.
Unread 03-04-2012, 09:35 PM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Thanks, Sugarandspice

I'm glad to have all of you. Another blessing
Unread 03-05-2012, 09:00 AM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Hi Navy,

I'm scheduled for a TAH on 4.5 and while I can not wait to not have a period anymore, I do have my down days. As much as I feel I have convinced myself this is an elective procedure - I know it's not. I'll be keeping my ovaries for no other reason than maintaining my otherwise overall health.

To say I don't have bad moments about it would be a lie. It's not even days so much as minute to minute. But then I think about my life, and the quality of it, and to know this will improve it trumps all the other feelings.

I definitely know how you feel, and I too have a super supportive husband and family but no amount of support can really take away the thoughts and fears.

I suppose that's why we have the sisters! We're all in this together and we'll get through it that way!

Unread 03-05-2012, 08:28 PM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Originally Posted by sugarandspice View Post
to you Anne. You will get through this and we will be here for you.

And big to Marestail, my true sister, one of the few people in my world who understands how I feel.
Thank you Sugarandspice! A big right back to you. I think you and I are really in the same boat and experiencing the same thing many times...
Unread 03-05-2012, 09:04 PM
Finally have my date...kind of numb...

Originally Posted by marestail View Post
Thank you Sugarandspice! A big right back to you. I think you and I are really in the same boat and experiencing the same thing many times...
From reading your posts I know it's ok to still have these feelings but I don't allow them to overwhelm me. Without that permission to grieve I don't know if I'd be managing as well.
Unread 03-06-2012, 09:47 AM
Re: Finally have my date...kind of numb...

To all of you, I don't know what I would have done without you! I have received so much information and support from you all, that "thank you" doesn't seem enough!

I find some comfort in the fact I am not alone, that others have the same feelings I have. I am the only woman in my family or circle of friends to have this surgery and as supportive as they are, they just don't understand!

I suspect once life (and sex) gets back to some form of normalcy, I won't have these back-and-forth emotions. Until then I take great comfort that I can come here on a bad day and receive so much support, information, or even just a hug (even if it is virtual)

So... good luck to you all, and again, Thank You!

A BIG (virtual) to you ALL!

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