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Feel like nobody believes me... Feel like nobody believes me...

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Unread 03-12-2012, 12:44 AM
Feel like nobody believes me...

I am so sad today. My Mom is worried sick about me and I can tell, but it's so hard to explain to her (and everybody else) how the pain I feel is so much that I just have to keep going. If I don't...the pain will consume me. It bothers me that my Mom worries so much. I wish I could make it all end now so she can stop worrying. And because I am still working and going to school, people around me act as if it can't be that bad. But it IS that bad. I don't sleep due to pain. I bleed constantly. My moods are all over the board and I am scared to death. But I don't let on because I can't - I just have to keep going. And I get the sense that people think I am exaggerating my pain when really, I am doing my best to function until that magic day. Only a week and a half to go. That's what keeps me plugging along and coping as I can. But it's not a condition that is visible. My bloated belly hurts, my pelvis hurts, it is a heavy ache all the time punctuated with cramps, nausea, sweating profusely, constipation and diarrhea, and at the most inconvenient times, flooding and clots. There is no 'cycle' and I get blindsided with migraines out of the blue. But I manage to function so people look at me like it just can't be as bad as I say. Argh! Thanks for letting me vent...
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Unread 03-12-2012, 12:57 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I am so sorry people haven't been more supportive to you. It's so hard to go through something like this when others don't understand. I get the same thing when I've had to call in sick to stay home and take pain pills for my adenomyosis. I'm living to make it to that day of surgery too. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.
Unread 03-12-2012, 01:00 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I understand completely. It will get better. You know what the pain does to you and no on else will ever really understand that ( except all your hystersisters). Keep your head up and if you feel,the need to make them understand perhaps write your mom a letter. Explain in as much detail even if it's gruesome what exactly you go through. Sometimes it's easier to convey what you feel when you sit down and take the time to write it out. Remember to get all the rest you need after surgery. I'm almost too weeks out from mine and still laying around the majority of the time. All the women on here will tell you to get lots of rest it's the truth.
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Unread 03-12-2012, 01:14 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

It's just so overwhelming. And it's not like an angry uterus is hanging out for all to see. I think it's easy for people to think I am playing it up because I am so determined not to let the brain fog of pain take over. It is a constant threat and pain is my constant companion. I think my Mom tries, but she's so worried and I feel bad about that. I know she believes me. It's other people in my life (work especially) where I truly feel like they think I am faking. Or maybe they just don't get it. And how could they? I suspect that my surgery will reveal much more than fibroids and cysts, but I just can't know what yet. I've had 3 ectopics and a history of heavy periods and cysts, but never pain like this. Not even with ectopics. It's only been since my ablation (epic fail) that I've felt pain. And it's really something else, the pain. I just want a time machine so March 23rd can be here right now and surgery would be over. Thanks, sisters...I am a mess tonight Thank you for listening. I appreciate it more than you know.
Unread 03-12-2012, 01:16 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I know and understand your pain. 10 years ago I had a stupid, stupid doctor that told me that all my pain, heavy bleeding, etc. was all normal.

I suffered for so long avoiding OB/Gyn for those 10 years. I finally could not deal with the pain, got a new doctor who referred me to a good Lady Doctor.

I am so looking forward to the 16th. I will take surgery any day than to go through another period (which I will be on during the surgery, FIGURES!)!
Unread 03-12-2012, 02:20 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I felt the same way. My pain was so bad that I felt as if I could climb up the walls. The months prior to my LSH were gruesome, bleeding and flooding, for months at a time, almost constant pain, the fatigue was the worst. And people just didn't understand. My friends and family just didnt quite get it. When I was fed up with living that way, I called to schedule my surgery prep.

I was so exhausted and anemic that my blood pressure shot up right before my pre op appt. So my surgery got cancelled, not only that time but two more times after that. I was frustrated but I had to really start paying attention to ME. I started eating better and I learned how to relax. I went to the drug store and used those automatic blood pressure machine to ensure I was doing better (I was on BP meds for this too) and I finally crossed into the land of Princesses last Monday. It was worth the wait.

Don't let anyone get you down because no one has to live in your shoes. Ask questions and read/research as much as you can. It will be a great relief to you when you get to the hospital to know exactly what's going on.

And the most encouraging thing I can tell you is the bleeding, pain and other symptoms I had regarding my uterus I am no longer experiencing. Now I am only 6 days post op and I've had good and bad days but I can't hardly believe I am doing this well this soon. It was worth it.

Take care. Sending hugs your way.
Unread 03-12-2012, 02:39 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Thank you. I am definitely working on myself this next 11 days. Quitting smoking and eating right and looking forward. One. Step. At. A. Time. Very small steps. With lots of crying...but I am doing it. It really helps to have others weigh in and encourage/validate me and my feelings. I feel like such a baby at times. Thank you again. You are all so wonderful here
Unread 03-12-2012, 03:45 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

piper- I feel just like you!! I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish i could wave a magic wand and fix you. Since I'm no fairy god-mother I'll just be a sister here for you! You are not a baby at all. I have every symptom you listed (except the migraines) and I know how incredibly painful and draining it is. You aren't faking it or being dramatic. Your pain is real and that is ok! Don't feel pressured to be chipper and happy. Be real with your emotions. I'm here always if you want to vent and cry. Any tips on the bloated belly pain? I've tried everything and nothing helps. I found that these ginger candies 'gingins' are super helpful for nausea and upset tummies. They aren't super delicious but they work!! 10 days until your trip to the castle! I'll be sending you prayers and good juju. Anything else I can do for you? Let me know!!
Unread 03-12-2012, 04:08 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Piper - Read the Spoon Theory article. It uses a metaphor to explain what it's like to have an invisible illness to those who just really don't get it.

It sounds like you are worried about your mom because she is so worried about you. Sounds like my parents. Mine tend to worry about everything. I know they just care about me, but it adds to my stress levels when they are stressing. I have found that we all feel/cope better if I can find something practical ways for them to help out. Is there something your mom can do to help you out with the surgery? Would that help ease her anxiety at all?

I'm sorry you are going through so much right now. Remember: soon, all this pain and bleeding and mess will be history.
Unread 03-12-2012, 04:11 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Thank you, Wickedinoz (love your handle!). Nothing helps the nausea for me except not eating. Bad, I know. Gas-X helps the bloat, but only temporarily. I have been drinking a lot of tea and water, too. You are feeling like me, too? Did you have an ablation? Do you have fibroids/cysts? I am starting to wonder if post-surgery I will find out I have adenomyosis...but only time will tell that :/ I hope you feel better soon, too - this is really starting to get to me. I've been so strong for so long, as I'm sure you have, too. I just keep reminding myself that I am not alone and that this site is what I need to depend on while I wait. We're truly in this together. Thanks again

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