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Feel like nobody believes me... Feel like nobody believes me...

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Unread 03-12-2012, 04:29 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

DancingPopcorn -

That's a GREAT idea about my Mom! I will ask her to help me with my hairy kids (I have 2 Goldens and a Rott, 3 cats, 3 ferrets, and an iguana). One of my Goldens is a 7 month old pup and I know my Mom can handle her. My other Golden is 8 years old and very mellow. My Rottie is a bit wild (3 years old and still settling into his guarding instinct), but he's sweet and loves women, so...

Yeah, I can ask her to help with them and that will allow my husband to work more (he's a general contractor and is in and out all day). She's afraid of lizards, but maybe she could cut up greens and measure out supplements.

I will ask her tomorrow if she'd be willing to help out with those things and maybe pick me up Jell-O and stuff she knows I like - I mean, she knows EVERYTHING about me, as she should

Her worrying really upsets me. I am the fifth of 12 kids and even though we are all grown and my Mom is in her 70s, she never has stopped treating me like her little girl. I love that. But I worry about her and I hate seeing her so stressed out - it makes it so much harder for me...

Thanks!! I don't know why I didn't think to include her in the first place in a more direct way. I think she'll like that
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Unread 03-12-2012, 04:43 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Wow, just read spoon theory! It is EXACTLY what I feel like right now. And it makes sense. I will feel A LOT less guilt this next couple of weeks whenever I can't seem to summon the energy to get things done. Even at work, I have overheard a few comments about how I have slowed down and it's getting noticed - well, gee, I am exhausted! So how did I respond? I sped up for a day and ended up calling in sick the next day and getting even more criticism over that! Now I understand a little bit better why that is a bad strategy...need to ration my spoons...
Unread 03-12-2012, 06:22 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I've been having a tough time this year for the same reason. My husband doesn't seem to get that I'm too exhausted to do anything. My supervisors at work expect me to be at my "A" game (which, if anyone teaches in a public school, they'll know that it's an exhausting/draining job within itself).

I was really upset recently b/c I told a coworker I would be out for my hysterectomy, so I wouldn't be able do something (involving grading 100 essays). She got upset when I told her I didn't have time to grade any on the spot.

I'm already behind in everything else, and this is the first year I've ever gotten a bad review at work. Of course, the day they came to observe, I was literally hunched over in pain...and that person knew my situation.

It just made me realize that, unless you're going through it yourself, you will never quite understand.

I think about my mom, who had a hysterectomy when I was in 10th grade. I can't believe she did all the stuff she did for us. She cooked every day. She cleaned the living room and kitchen every day. She took us places. All while bleeding and being cold all the time. And I truly had no idea until this year. Even with having bad periods for years, this year really taught me something.
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Unread 03-12-2012, 09:03 AM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I'm guessing you have adenomyosis?? Your symptoms sure fit. My doctor suspects adenomyosis and those are pretty much my symptoms only right now I only have 9 to 12 days of bleeding a month, around 20 days of cramping a month, and about 5 days a month that the pain is so bad I have to take something just to function.

I think you have two things going on, first it's easy for my friends and family to see my uterus is the culprit in my case because I am myself on my good days and then right before my period and during my period I'm a totally different person and it's not hormonal moodiness, it's just the pain starts to take over. It's sounds like in your case you don't have any good days, which can be very common after these uterine conditions progress, and that may be leading people to believe you are exaggerating just because they aren't informed about adenomyosis, fibroids, and endometriosis and how miserable they can get. I didn't know until my own condition began to progress that these types of things can start to take over your life every day and not remain limited to your period for 5 to 10 days.

I've never had normal periods. I remember being 13 years old and on the first day of school our gym teacher (a man) said not to have our moms send notes saying we couldn't work out because we were cramping. He said periods were not an excuse to skip gym. I remember thinking, what the heck, he must not know what my periods feel like.

So many women take having a normal uterus for granted. My moms period was always so light that she could get by using panty liners and super thin pads throughout the whole period and hers only lasted 4 days. Mine was always heavier than most girls, even when I was 12 and my cramps have always been super bad 2 to 4 days out of my period. I've always spotted between period. Unless I was on the pill, I had no clue when my period would start, or stop for that matter. My friends didn't understand because it just isn't the type of thing most girls experience.

So many women have light periods with mild cramping that come and go like clockwork. They get pregnant within the first 3 months of trying and then experience no problems post pregnancy. Unfortunately, that is not the same experience we all have.

In the words of my doctor, "Your uterus has given you trouble since you were 12. Let's just take it out."

You can relax knowing that we all believe you. We know how unpleasant our uterus can make our lives.

In the mean time while you wait for your surgery date, you can try crystalized ginger for the nausea and bloating. It's by far the best natural treatment for digestion woes. And it's safe to take right up to the night before your surgery. It can be found with the seasoning salts in a large super market or is available on Amazon. It's made from real ginger and is the consistency of a gummy candy. It got me through severe morning sickness with all 3 of my pregnancies.

Good luck.
Unread 03-12-2012, 01:13 PM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

I feel your pain. My sister is an OB nurse and since she works with female stuff, of course, she knows everything. When I was talking about wanting to discuss a hysterectomy with my doctor, she got all mad at me and that was it really worth it just to rid myself of a little pain and bleeding. I wanted to scream at her or possibly hit her. It is not just a little pain. It is I have to take left over narcotic pain medicine just to be able to walk around my house and it is not a little bleeding it is 2 months of bleeding with a 3-4 week break and there is almost always break through bleeding in that time. I will freely admit that I am the worlds biggest baby when it comes to pain and maybe if she dealt with it, she would still be able to function, but I can't. It takes all of my will power to get out of bed and feed my kids and clean my house. Thank god I work from home or I would have to take time off all of the time. My dad is also a nurse and he is lecturing me about rushing into this since I haven't done anything else first. Is he crazy? I did almost a year of hormones which never worked because I never remembered to take them and then I tried the IUD for 6 months and that pain was unreal. Then we tried the Depo shot for a year and I bleed all of the time. I finally tried ablasion last fall and it worked for a year, but now my body is making me pay for trying to go a year with no problems. But ya know, I am just rushing into this. This decision was not made lightly. Why can't people be more supportive? I applaud you for making the choice to do what you feel is going to be the best thing for you and you shouldn't let anyone tell you different. I will try not to let it get to me if you do too.
Unread 03-12-2012, 03:13 PM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Piper - It sounds like your furry family will keep your mom pretty busy and help her feel like she has something to contribute.

You might want to share the spoon theory story with your co-workers. Unless they are completely thick, it might help them "get it."

Hugs to you and all the ladies here who are in pain and have no energy. Good luck with your surgeries and I hope everyone feels 1000% better on the other side.
Unread 03-12-2012, 03:30 PM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Im new as of today and this is the 1st thread i have read. I completely understand your frustrations. When i read this i just thought this could've been written by me as this is exactly how i feel! I also call my upcoming surgery as my magic day! How much longer do you have to wait for your date? I apologize if you have said this already. I am still learning how to navigate around this site. I hope you feel better soon.
Unread 03-12-2012, 04:25 PM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Piper- That is a great idea about your mom, give her something to take her mind off it!! It is good to have her love and care! I agree, it sounds like adeno, as well, The hyster will take care of that!

Hi Shanny, welcome!! I think hers is the 22nd.

I am in the same place. I have a very supportive husband, who although says he understands, gets frustrated if he comes home from work and sees no change in the house. He tries not to fuss, but I can tell. He doesn't understand why I vaccum one room, then have to lie down. I am also still trying to work part-time. 10-20 hrs a week. It is physical work and so painful at times.

My biggest issue is his family. We live literally surrounded by his family (six houses on our road)!! My family is all four hours away (with the exception of my father- 1.5 hrs) They all act like it's no biggie! His mother had a hyster for endo at 25. I do not know how severe, because she never asked anything. She just says, "oh, you'll be fine", "I did it", etc! Gee thanks for the support! I know she is superwoman, and i can never live up to her, but GAWD! she is infuriating!

Ok, thanks for allowing me to vent!
Unread 03-12-2012, 07:03 PM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...


I HEAR YOU GIRLFRIEND!! And I am right beside you and a week behind you at the castle. I have suffered more since my ablation than most human beings could take. My health is so poor that it seems like its always something. I am a professional patient at this point and the waiting is the worst. I gave up trying to work. I just couldn't commit when I never knew what "symptom of the day" was going to blindside me. I have 5 kids and a wonderful husband who are OVER it. At least in my mind they are. I put on a good show but I am dying inside. I started seeing a therapist and she made me see that the only person who doubts me...or judges me...is ME. We as women are so hard on ourselves trying to be strong and not ask for help. My parents are 3 states away and over 70, my Dad doesn't even want to know the date of my actual surgery as is has been scheduled and changed 5 times. Someone on another thread said that they were finally heading to the castle and agreeing to this surgery because she was "tired of being a slave to her lady business" and that sums it up right there. Give your self some credit and give yourself a break. If you have made it this far then nothing is gonna stop you now. Just another bump in the road. Ignore the petty people at work, work will still be there when you get back. Prepare yourself as well as you can. Read on here and enjoy the company of all of the Sisters who share their incredible wisdom on the subject. Respect yourself enough to see this through and rest your way back to good health. God Bless! There is a great thread on here where someone asks all to share why they decided to have a hysterectomy...it's worth your time to read it. You are not alone my friend...And as a Mom I know exactly how she feels...you don't worry about someone you don't care about...be her baby again...it will make her feel good and you feel great!
Unread 03-12-2012, 07:42 PM
Re: Feel like nobody believes me...

Hang in there, that pain is so terriable, wd all undrstand here, mine was so.bad id eat motrin by.the.bottle, nothing would touch it, the.bleeding.blood clots,.and every month.for a week my life would stop. My mom was the same way, and honey it will.be.so much.better after surgery, I have no more pain hormone issues but no pain, no cramps.that feel lile my legs were falling off, I did find that when I used wet heat it helped get me to my surgery, hope all.will go well.for you and this will be all behind you

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