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Starting to second guess myself Starting to second guess myself

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  #1  
Unread 03-13-2012, 12:43 PM
Starting to second guess myself

I don't know if its the hormone shot (Lupron) or my anxiety getting the best of me bc my surgery date is drawing near, but I am beginning to over think things and second guess myself.

The last week or so, side fx from the Lupron have kicked in and made me miserable: joint aches, fatigue etc. Mentally, I am anxious and have quite the temper - it is putting a strain on my relationship and all I can think is "Is this really worth it?"

I will lose my job after surgery and only have insurance for the month of surgery and one month after. I can't afford it on my own and well, now I'll have a lovely "pre-existing condition" too. This makes me anxious. Fingers crossed for no complications!

I have a large fibroid (or cluster, not sure) that is cantaloupe sized but it is not causing me pain. Sure, it is uncomfortable and my uterus is pushed up to my belly button, but other than that, I am in no pain, have no bleeding, no terrible aches etc. I am beginning to wonder if surgery is worth it. Even though I know, the growth's interference with other organs is no minor detail.

I know on long runs when I have to pee bc my bladder is being smooshed, or when I have cramps and strange feelings bc I can't get into certain yoga poses or stretch or lay on my stomach of this...thing I'll be singing another tune. I just feel so back and forth right now.

I've never had surgery before and I know (well, hope) my body is in good shape to handle it. I worry about post op weight gain or the loss of motivation to do the things I love to do, activity wise. I just wish I had confirmation that this IS the right choice and that I'll be BETTER and HAPPIER after surgery.

Right now, it just seems like a lot of suffering to get to that point, and then recovery etc...it's like a never ending journey. Am I just getting cold feet?
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  #2  
Unread 03-13-2012, 12:57 PM
Re: Starting to second guess myself

Whether you have the surgery or not, it's still a pre-existing condition, because you have been diagnosed or treated for it in the last 6 months. If the hyster is a cure, the. The condition is considered resolved with the surgery, and won't factor into your next insurance coverage. Also, do whatever you can to keep continuous coverage, even if it's COBRA, because as long as you have continuous coverage, they cannot deny you coverage based on a pre existing. Hope this helps!
  #3  
Unread 03-13-2012, 01:00 PM
Re: Starting to second guess myself

Thank you. I am going to try and get independent coverage through my carrier, even though it won't be anywhere near what I have now. I can't get Cobra bc my company is closing and therefore there is no group policy to base Cobra on .

Hopefully they have something affordable. You can be sure I will be taking it easy and making an effort to have my recovery be the healthiest possible!
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