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Unread 03-14-2012, 12:31 PM


On March 27th I will be having a vaginal hyst. Really starting to stress out that my 2 children (12 and 16) and my over worked husband will not be around much or offer to help out. My husband doesn't want to take more then 2 days off and the children will be in school most of the day. I have tired to get things arranged and the house cleaned but yet they are still unwilling to help out NOW to make things easier on them when I am down.

So I am concerned that being a burden manily to myself, will only pro-long my recovery. I would like to be back to work with in 2 weeks after surgery, is this even posible?

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Unread 03-14-2012, 01:21 PM
Re: Stressed

Have you sat down as a family and discussed your surgery and recovery? Do they understand the restrictions you'll have post op? Perhaps a movie night might be in order so everyone can see what you have to go through. I think your husband should attend your pre op appointment so the DR can explain why you will need help. As far as being alone, I think you'll be fine. My husband took only the day after surgery off but that was a Friday and I had him for the weekend. You will not be incompacitated but will need help with cooking and cleaning. You'll need to get lots of meals in the freezer as well as easy to prepare meals like soup and salad and sandwiches that you can pop in the microwave when you are alone. Do they expect you to cook meals for them? Clean and do laundry? You won't be up for this for a couple of weeks. Going back to work within two weeks? No way, in my opinion of course. I had a desk job and could only manage part time at three weeks. Everyone heals differently and this depends in your job too. Look to this site for what to expect at certain timetables in your recovery. If you don't think your family will step up -and they are certainly capable of doing so- then I would look to friends or other family members for help. You must take care of yourself so that you can heal properly. Has your family explained to you why they can't help? Sometimes you need to hold a mirror up to people so they can see how selfish they are being. I'm so sorry you are having to stress about this now. Please come here to vent and for support and hints to assist your recovery. Good luck to you.
Unread 03-14-2012, 01:41 PM
Re: Stressed

Yes, I have talked with them many times over the past few weeks. My husband is concerned that money will be an issue. Honestly, I think it's his way of dealing with this situation. The kids are just lazy and they even say this too me when I ask them to help out! They are at the age where sports and friends are important to them. Just hope that they see the light when mom is down and might needs some extra help. Getting my husband to attend the pre-op appointment is a great idea if he has the day off. His schedule is never the same because of the industry he is in. My in-laws have offered to help out, so maybe its time to take them up on it.
Well if you were unable to return to work full time at 3 weeks, guess I shouldn't keep stressing. Just that I have high hopes for a speedy recovery and hear from others that I should be up and back to normal with in a week because I am not having an abdominal hyst. I will make sure that I get plenty of rest, take care of myself and try not to worry about my normal schedule. Thanks for the advice it was much needed..
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Unread 03-14-2012, 02:20 PM
Re: Stressed

I had a TVH in July and was able to return to work (only every other day) at 8 weeks post op. And it was very, very difficult. We are all different and heal at our own rates, but I really don't think 2 weeks is realistic.

My son is 16 and he was pretty good during my recovery. It really concerned to see me post op and hurting, so he wanted to help. I had to ask several times whenever I wanted something done, but he did it eventually. Especially when he saw that it wouldn't get done otherwise. He was on his own for all meals except dinner as well. It helps to have stuff in the house that they can just toss in the microwave when they're hungry.

There is also a site called Mister Hystersisters that may be helpful for your husband. Here is a link:

Unread 03-14-2012, 02:44 PM
Re: Stressed

For some reason my reply was posted twice & I can't find a way to delete one of them, only able to edit one. Anyway I'm glad you brought your concerns here, there is tons of support here. We are in this together and we are here for you!
Unread 03-14-2012, 02:47 PM
Re: Stressed

No way should you be back to normal after a week or even two. You may not have the external stitches but you will have internal ones and not giving those proper time to heal will land you back in the OR with much worse problems. I printed off questions and answers for my family from Mr hyster sisters such as "when can she cook" & "why doesn't she feel better ". It helped them understand & also had hubby & 16 year old watch 9 minutes of video showing part of the operation. I did have to remind them that was only 9 minutes of a 2 & a half hour surgery.
Unread 03-14-2012, 03:01 PM
Re: Stressed

The difference in surgeries is in how they get in. The abdominal incision does require more healing but the internal repairs remain exactly the same. It is unfortunate that women are led to believe that the recovery will be so quick if not abdominal. The healing of the vaginal cuff takes time. I'm not trying to scare you, but you will not be yourself in a week. You will most likely be on narc pain meds still. I was off them at 5 days using 800mg of ibuprofen, but I had a great support system. I'm fearful you will over do without proper support. Fatigue is a huge hurdle and will be what makes work so difficult as well as lengthy sitting. Are you keeping your ovaries? If so, there is "sleep" period where your ovaries will not be functioning well and you will have some potentially bothersome menopause symptoms. This won't help you in feeling work ready. Do you have disability at work? That should help financially. As far as your children go, they will come around when they don't have clean clothes to wear. They are old enough to understand responsibility. Keep in touch. I'll be sending you good thoughts.
Unread 03-14-2012, 04:57 PM
Re: Stressed

Yes, I am keeping my ovaries and my work offers disability. Now that I am part of a wonderful supportive group, I'm thinking this journey won't be so bad... Time for happy thoughts!! Thank you all so much in taking time to respond. The information you have given me today is helping me come to grips that it time to LOVE myself and not worry so much about cooking, cleaning or returning to work so quickly. I will be showing my family the tools you have suggested in hopes they will better understand.

Less Stressed
Unread 03-14-2012, 05:50 PM
Re: Stressed

'Atta Girl!!

You will do great and we will be here for you every step of the way
Unread 03-14-2012, 05:55 PM
Re: Stressed

That's great!!! You will be so happy on the other side. See you there soon. Take care : )

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