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TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

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  #1  
Unread 01-07-2002, 07:49 AM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

My surg is tomorrow at 10 am. I previously mentioned an issue with my daughter and verbal abuse at school pending. It has blown back up in my face TODAY :burning:
The Director of schools called me today and said that the lady I filed the complaint with will be calling me today, that he would like for us to "talk" before this goes any further.
I am :hair:
I feel SO overwhelmed and dealing with this wasn't in my plans for today, much less on top of my nerves already.
For those that don't know the details of this issue click here https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=46919

I need some huge insight right now, I can't see the beauty of the forest for the ugliness of some of its trees
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  #2  
Unread 01-07-2002, 09:12 AM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

Hi Charity, I think I'd call the Director of Schools and first of all, tell him that you will be unable to except her calls today due to medical reasons. (I wouldn't want to mess with it right now). Also, why does he want you to talk to her. So you can shake hands and make up. I don't think you really need to talk to her at this point. It's up to the school to take up this issue. It sounds to me that the school would like to maybe have the two of you just make amends and let it go. I know myself and I wouldn't want to talk to this "lady". I'd get mad and say something I'd regret later and that she might could use against me. Like I harassed her on the phone or something. (I get mad when people mess with my kid). In my humble opinion, you should call the school back, tell them to call this lady and have her not call you, and if she does, just don't take the call. Tell her you are unable to be on the phone right now. And then get off and deal with your surgery pre-op. Let us know what happens. Take care and Good luck!
  #3  
Unread 01-07-2002, 10:27 AM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

Hi, Charity. I have two reasons for getting upset with you on this "mean lady" deal. First of all, I got bifocals in the third grade and not all the teachers were nice to me about it. I remember asking my teacher to help me clean them after recess one day and she wrinkled her nose up like I had a disease. I didn't tell my mother about it until I was grown and she still got mad!

The second reason is because I have a daughter in the third grade. She has a serious hearing problem that was discovered in Kindergarten. I have heard on more than one occasion from people in the school system that she has "convenient hearing". That infuriates me! She goes to the ENT two times a year to make sure she isn't getting worse yet. He says she will need a hearing aid in a few years, but would like to wait until she really needs it. Now she compensates by filling in the blanks with her little smart brain and what she gets isn't always what was said. Her teacher this year is wonderful and I am thankful.

Why can't the people who work with children remember that they are just that? Children are fragile and none of them wants to be different. They need to be delt with positively in these situations.

If it were me, I will tell the Director that I don't have anything else to say. It is in their hands now. I would also mention that if some action weren't taken, I would be talking to the school board and other parents soon. You have enough on your plate right now and the school should handle it from here on out. You just take care of yourself until you feel well enough to follow-up on what the school did to take care of it. Maybe I am just hateful, but I would not talk to her, nor would I "make nice" just because they don't want you to rock the boat. She started it and you did your part.
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  #4  
Unread 01-07-2002, 10:28 AM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

Oops! I just realize I said "upset with you" and what I meant was, "upset at the lady along with you"! Sorry!
  #5  
Unread 01-07-2002, 10:40 AM
Don't be pushed around

I agree with the other ladies that you do not need to be dealing with this today. Nor do I think you have a responsibility to talk to this woman at all. The pricipal can handle this one all on their own especially since the school nurse witnessed the whole thing. Shame on her for ignoring it and "leaving the room". As a mother, I would never let someone treat a child like that, period. If you can't catch the school to stop the call, just don't answer the phone. Good luck to you, I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter. Hang in there and keep smiling!! Good luck tomorrow!
  #6  
Unread 01-07-2002, 10:53 AM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

I agree with the otherr ladies that you should not deal with this woman at all. Tell the Director you have to postpone this until you have somewhat recovered and then go to the Highest Office in your School System to wage the complaint. (I'm not sure if this is public or private so I don't know who you have to deal with). If you talk to this woman they will try to to get you to forget it with an apology and 10 years from now she will still be verbally abusing children. I was a teacher for 10 years and I saw alot of verbal abuse of children. I often wonder why some people choose to work with children when they are certainly not suited!!!! That nurse should have stepped in! I wonder if she will back you up in your complaint or conveniently "forget" what she heard. I have seen this happen many times! Good Luck with surgery and your Daughter!
  #7  
Unread 01-07-2002, 11:36 AM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

After surgery, and you start recovering, IMHO, I'd be seeking an attorney. If they don't handle it, you could sue the school board, and school for mental distress, both on your part (since you tried to get it resolved prior to surgery) and your daughter's, if it isn't handled appropriately.

It is a crying shame when the people we entrust our most precious treasures to on a daily basis, want to make them feel like garbage.

Don't talk to the lady, if you don't feel up to it. She was probably ordered to call you and formally apollogize, and they are hoping this will "blow over" once the apollogy is out of the way.

Kudos to you for taking this to the school board!



Rest today as much as you can hun, and relax, goodness knows you have earned it and then some!

GREAT BIG s to you,
  #8  
Unread 01-07-2002, 12:03 PM
So manythanks and done with it for today

Thanks for the responces, each and every one of you thought the same way I did about it once I calmed down and assessed the situation.
First, I'd like to explain a little bit more as to where this is currently at. I am as high as I can go right now in my county, I filed the formal written complaint with the Director of my county schools over the Board of Education, after several talks with everyone involved except, the one I filed against.
Second, I have yet till today, to see her written responce. I requested that to be faxed to me and read it. I was :burning:
She did call me and I told her I refused to speak to her.
I e-mailed the Director, and even used a line someone posted in it here.
here's is what I e-mailed.

Dear Mr. +++++,

I have recieved a copy of the written response to my written complaint
against *****.
I am not sure what you had hoped by she and I speaking over the phone,
however, after reading this I can assure you I have nothing to speak to Ms.
***** about.
This is not a playground dispute that the two of us will shake hands and
make-up over. Nor will it disappear until a proper resolution has been
reached. I obviously had grievances with the job that Ms. ***** performed
and it being her job and you being her boss as I understand it, have a
procedure to deal with this. I have read the policies that should be
adheared to by Ms. *****. I have read her own words on what happen that day.
I can say that she only confirmed the unacceptable behavior that prompted
the complait.
I am going to have major surgery tomorrow and today has been stressful
enough preparing for it. I will get back to you as soon as I can once I am
out of the hospital to follow-up on this.
As I stated before, I will do whatever necessary to be sure that proper
action is taken.

I am going back to preparing last minute thangs around the house. Again, I needed to hear each and everything you guys posted.

I love this place, it means, never alone, never again.

**Admin note: names have been edited due to legal liability.
  #9  
Unread 01-07-2002, 12:25 PM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

Hi Charity,

I just wanted to drop you a note and tell you how sorry I am to hear about this incident involving your precious little girl.

You are right, the timing is lousy for you, too. I know I would not have wanted to handle any emotional issues the day before my surgery. And, there aren't too many issues more emotional than those that involve our children.

I also know that it will be difficult for you to handle complex, emotionally charged issues for quite a while after surgery, too. You need to conserve energy, stay calm, rest as much as possible, and take life easy during your recovery.

I hope this situation is resolved to your satisfaction very quickly. I think an apology should be extended to your little girl. She is truly the one who needs to hear from the "mean lady."

I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and I will look forward to hearing from you in Post Op when you are back home.

Give my best wishes to your little girl, and tell her for me that unfortunately there are some "not nice" adults in this world, and they should not be working with our precious kiddos. She is a lovely young girl --- with or without glasses. And, she has a pretty terrific Mom.

Blessings and 's to you both!

See ya in Post Op.
  #10  
Unread 01-07-2002, 02:04 PM
TERRIBLE timing grrrrarggghh

Charity,

I'm dealing with some issues myself, but I resolved that today I am not dealing with people who will upset me. I've been "chillin" all day, My primary Dr. and OB both called today to check on me and make sure I wasn't "bailing out." I assured them that I wasn't and they will be me at 6 am in the castle awaiting to become a punctured princess and to begin the recovery period anxiously awaiting to feeling better than I have in a few Years!!!!!
So kick off your shoes, relax and come on back now ya hear to HysterSisters. They have truly been a source of comfort and companionship. Once online it is hard to get off and get things done that I need to be doing at the last minute. But I need to be here and read and share!

Well I have a few hours head start on you I go at 6 am and my surgery is schedule for 8, so I'll be your predecessor! ;->
Love and God's blessings for a painfee and safe recovery for you and all my 1/8/02 sisters!!! Hope you pray the same for me too!
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