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Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

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  #11  
Unread 03-16-2012, 05:27 PM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

  Quote:
Originally Posted by rainkeepfalling View Post
I booked my surgery yesterday and instead of trying to convince me that we can still be friends, my uterus has decided to throw a massive party. I woke up to my clothes glued to my legs with blood and cramps so bad I had to crawl to my shower. This only a week after finishing a cycle. I guess it figured out I was getting rid of it and it has decided to trash the place before it leaves. It might as well live it up, because in 19 days I bring the doc to your door and they WILL take you into custody. Do you hear me, Uterus?

P.S. Do not sew dead fish into my curtains because if you make things start to smell, I will call the doc back in to evict your little friends Cervix and Ovaries. Don't think I won't do it.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
hahah love it, mine deceiced to do the same thing, but now its in 'custody', its great
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  #12  
Unread 03-17-2012, 10:24 AM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

I wish mine would throw a party, which would make all of this so much easier emotionally. My uterus has decided to behave. She's trying to trick me. I haven't had any spotting at all since stopping my last period and my cramps have been mild and not quite daily. I have, however, had some occasionally severe gas pains that have even sent referred pain to my shoulder. Since I haven't eaten any gassy foods I'm guessing that's the adenomyosis.

I think my mild symptoms are due to the fact that I've only had 1 period since stopping the pill. I'll have 2 more periods before my hysterectomy. I expect the next one to be worse than the last and then that next one to be a good reminder as to why I have the surgery scheduled.
  #13  
Unread 03-17-2012, 11:10 AM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

LMAO! Too funny! I love your sense of humor! I am just getting over a week of pure hell too...the likes of which I have not seen since I had a graprefruit sized cyst twisting my tube. I mean kidney stone level pain--there is one you don't soon forget! This week got me over the sadness and beginnings of depression and now I just want it OUT! I have joked that mine was getting me back for the invasions and biopsies, but I think I am with you--it is a rebellion! Ah well--as you say--eviction notice sent! Alllllll done! I am making my pre-op/post-op supply list, and checking it twice. 23 days and counting!
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  #14  
Unread 03-17-2012, 11:53 AM
Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Kismet107 View Post
LMAO! Too funny! I love your sense of humor! I am just getting over a week of pure hell too...the likes of which I have not seen since I had a graprefruit sized cyst twisting my tube. I mean kidney stone level pain--there is one you don't soon forget! This week got me over the sadness and beginnings of depression and now I just want it OUT! I have joked that mine was getting me back for the invasions and biopsies, but I think I am with you--it is a rebellion! Ah well--as you say--eviction notice sent! Alllllll done! I am making my pre-op/post-op supply list, and checking it twice. 23 days and counting!
I have my list all figured out on what questions I want to ask my doctor and I have been filling up my iTunes account and my Netflix instant que full of music and movies to keep me occupied while I recover. I have about 10 books downloaded also. I should be good for the log haul. I am going to clean up my too and take my long skinny hall table and set it up along the side of my bed and put munchies and stuff on it. Then I am going to borrow a mini fridge from a friend and fill it with bottles of water and juice and put it upstairs too. My mother in law will be staying with me to help take care of my kids and clean my house and I think I may just milk this to take a 2 week vacation. I think I have more than earned it. Plus it gives my husband a little taste of what it is like to work and take care of the kids and the house. He assumes since I work from home, it must be sooooo easy. Guess he will find out.
  #15  
Unread 03-17-2012, 01:31 PM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

Never mind. Ignore my previous post. My uterus just sent out some party invitations of her own!
  #16  
Unread 03-17-2012, 01:53 PM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

Rain, you have an awesome sense of humor! I laughed so hard I had to read your post to my hubby. He said "Aaaahh. So THAT'S where your 'Aunt Flo' went to crash when you kicked the b**** to the curb?" (He's Army with the lovely vocabulary to go with it.) Aunt Flo threw me a big hissy when I kicked her out, too. I hope everything goes without a hitch for you!!! Keep that sense of humor!
  #17  
Unread 03-17-2012, 01:59 PM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

OMG! Best thread title ever. You will be so happy to have your "friend" uterus removed. I don't miss mine, although mine decided to swell me up like I'm pregnant after it was evicted for its revenge. LOL! I know the swelling will go away in a few months. That's all normal. Best of luck with your surgery!
  #18  
Unread 03-17-2012, 03:53 PM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

Oh Rain...mine has been hosting a "vagapalooza"....all systems go...or should I say gone. Starting with the bladder, then the bowels who invited their cousins...the hemorrhoids and when Aunt Flo and Uncle Crampy found out...then flew in for the festivities. Mom asked me today how the hems and bowels were and I said "forgotten" as the cramping and bleeding have made them take a back seat. 8 days of the heaviest bleeding I have had in a year. I am tired and cold and completely wiped out. And to make matters worse...today is my anniversary. So much for red wine and romance! I am throwing a net over the place...13 days and all will be evacuated.
  #19  
Unread 03-18-2012, 12:44 AM
Re: Uterus throwing party upon notice of eviction

If I don't laugh, I cry. Glad I made others chuckle as well.
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