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7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!! 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

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Unread 03-21-2012, 05:31 PM
7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Hello ladies, just had to vent. I am 7 days post op. had a TAH last thursday. My husband was good for the first few days but yesterday he started with when was I going to clean the house. Today he asked what I am making for dinner, he has given me a list of errands and chores. I am ready to scream. I am in a ton of pain, i have a crazy dr who refused to give me pain meds after I left the hospital, said I would heal better!! So he gave me Ibuprophen 800, really????? Ugh, can't sleep, too much pain, and my husband is not helping. I actually drove to get his daughter from school today, In my heart I knew i shouldn't but had noone else. He just seems to think I need to be up and going and physically I just can't. He is getting mad that he has to cook, i actually did the laundry the last few days cause it was piling up and I had no clean clothes. He just does not take it seriously. I am also dealing with the emotional issues, loss of fertility.... and i am just getting very frustrated!!! Thank you for letting me rant. Just feel so alone!!
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Unread 03-21-2012, 05:58 PM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Honey…is there anyone you can call on to help? Maybe your doctor or another health professional could talk to your husband and tell him that you are going to need WEEKS of TLC to heal properly! You could really mess things up for yourself down the road if you starting doing this kind of activity too soon. Call a girlfriend or a relative….and get your husband some literature so he understands what he is asking of you! Meantime, I will be thinking of you--stick to this site and at least let the other sisters help you vent. Let the laundry pile up….and let him starve. He'll figure it out!
Unread 03-22-2012, 07:42 AM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Kleindesigns, Thank you. I don't have any friends or family living nearby. My dr I have decided is a nut case and probably would be of no help. Yesterday I told him, after picking up his daughter from school that I really was not ready to drive yet. Last night before bed he asked if I would be driving her to school in the morning, lol. Don't getme wrong, my husband is not a bad guy he is just one of those people that could and has cut off half his finger and instead of going to the hospital he crazy glued it and wrapped it with electrical tape!!! He really just has no clue. I try my hardest not to get mad, but this morning when he started running through the things I needed to get at the grocery store I almost lost it. In a way I feel bad I guess. We have been together for 6 yrs. and for those 6 yrs he has watched me lay in bed 2 weeks out of the month. He is very active and hyper and I was never able to do anything. It got so bad that we almost divorced. That was one of my main reasons for wanting this surgery, so I could be up and out of bed and have a life. But i think he thought that i would have the surgery and a few days later I would be up and going diving with him, lol. I do understand his frustration. Before I had these problems I also was very active and hyper. I would not have enjoyed being married to someone who was always sik in bed. Tonight I am going to try and explain this all to him, hopefully he will be able to understand that if i do too much now I am going to have problems down the road and not get to be the healthy, active wife he is wanting me to be. Thank you so much for your support, it really does help soooooooooo much!!!
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Unread 03-22-2012, 07:59 AM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Sorry, but you can justify his behaviour all you want (as you should) But I still want to punch him in the nose for being so ignorant.

By not taking your recovery seriously he will just prolong the time it takes to get his healthy, active wife back.

You also have to give yourself a break, I think. This will be a complete lifestyle change for you. Mentally, I have considered myself a "sick person" for soooo long. My hubby has been taking care of me for YEARS it seems. To be presented with the prospect of him NOT having to take care of me in that way anymore is a hard thing to wrap my brain around, I don't even really know what that life looks like yet. It's weird LOL ...but exciting, nonetheless to think I'm going to be HEALTHY once my recovery is over. We won't have to plan our lives around my wretched, old uterus!!!

Tell hubby he's just going to have to suck it up for another couple of months and then get back to bed!!!
Unread 03-23-2012, 06:28 AM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

TrishFD, I completely agree!! I did have a looooong talk with him yesterday and explained things to him. Truth is I am just not going to let myself worry about how he thinks and feels right now. My life has always been consumed with making sure my family is happy but for now I just have to focus on getting better and making myself healthy!!!!
Unread 03-23-2012, 06:32 AM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Too bad your doctor didn't talk to him. My doctor told my husband all the things I can't do and my husband has been like a prison warden. Just keep telling him no, you only get one chance to heal right.
Unread 03-23-2012, 07:07 AM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Step one- Pull hubby's lower lip over his head and tell him to swallow.

Step two- Print out the list of do not do's from this site or mister hyster site and tatoo it to his arm.

Step three-Get your cute little healing hiney in bed or on the couch. Stay there for several weeks. Hire someone to clean if need be. Become a professional orderer of delivered food, and eat on paper plates.

Step four- If hubby doesn't respond to treatment refer to step 1.

Hang in there. Your body comes first right now. Hubby has some serious Man-ing up to do.
Unread 03-23-2012, 07:16 AM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

My husband has been a prison warden also! Sorry alecia777 but your husband needs an education! You have weeks of recovery ahead of you! You need to take care of you first right now, you only get one chance to heal right. He has completely unrealistic expectations, don't absorb those expectations yourself. Check out the post op videos and info, and share with him. Lots of good info there ... Take care!

Love the steps in post above! Woohoo!
Unread 03-23-2012, 01:24 PM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

Wow.. I am amongst those who have the desire to physically hurt your husband right now..

Tell him I said to man up, be a man and help you out. My husband is still asking if there is anything I need and I will be 8 weeks next week AND he had a heart attack 6 weeks ago..
Unread 03-23-2012, 01:59 PM
Re: 7 days post op, Husband thinks I should be back to work!!

alecia777 you came to the right place to vent and sometimes you need to do that.....
go here for that info for men http://www.misterhystersisters.com/

or better yet have him watch a video

just find the one that is your operation and he will see...sometimes they do not like it when women are helpless cause they rely so much on us and as my dr said today: I say men are the head of the household but women are the neck, they do so much around the home and then if they work it is even more. Men work and come home wanting supper on the table, a clean house, not realizing all that the woman has done that day - he said he tells every women he sees to take a half hour a day and make it me time all about me. said we need it.

stop to think about it if men are the head...without the neck they can do nothing

food for thought, hopefully he will get the hint

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