Scheduled TAH The Momma in me is worrying | HysterSisters
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The Momma in me is worrying The Momma in me is worrying

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  #1  
Unread 03-22-2012, 01:25 PM
The Momma in me is worrying

Not sure why it has hit me today...but with less than a week away from a TAH my emotions have hit the fan. I'm very emotional...and the What If's? have started in full swing. The main concern..and I know the risk is minimal...is that I won't wake up from surgery and will leave my two precious little ones without a Momma. I'm a Nurse and know just enough to make myself worry about all of this. I know technical details about what could go wrong..and have seen things go wrong with other surgeries. I'm just trying to keep myself busy....but am having a hard time.
My husband bless his heart is trying to be compassionate and supportive...this is just something I've never faced before. My kids seem to sense all this and are giving me extra love...that I so need.
Thanks for listening to me vent...
Mackenzie
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  #2  
Unread 03-22-2012, 01:41 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

Hi Mackenzie,
I had my TAH back on Nov.10/11 and I remember well the feelings I was having as my surg. date loomed closer and closer. I have 3 children, single parent and the thoughts of 'what happens if I don't wake up, if I don't come out of this'...ran through my mind almost by the minute of every day. It is a real possibility, though remote but none-the-less is still exists. I coped with this by telling myself that what I believe is what will be. So I chose to envision myself as a stronger, healthier more vibrant woman AFTER my surgery. I thought of my family saying hello to me when I got back to my room and their smiling faces and hugs. I thought of my cosy bedroom and all the little things I was doing beforehand to make it extra-special when I was able to get back home and get into bed for the first time after my surgery.

It is like floating around out in space during this few days of surgery and immediately after - but soon you'll be getting your feet underneath you again and taking over the controls once again. It's scary that's for sure.

After my surgery, the morning after I was sitting on the side of my hospital bed , the IV line in my arm, bandage across my abdomen, my slippers on my feet...and I cried, big alligator tears rolling down my cheeks...they just came and I let them. The nurse asked me what was wrong thinking I was in pain. I looked at her and said " I'm just so glad it's over and I'm okay and I'm going to be even better than before...just so grateful to be here"

So you see we are brave and courageous and we hold it together for our families and show them how strong we are. But it sure is nice to let the tears fall not because of fear, but because of the celebration of how strong we really are and how grateful we are for our lives.

You'll be okay, you believe that, trust in that and say it out loud to yourself, take a walk now before your surgery and have a one-to-one with your greater power....just know in your heart that those who love you will carry you through this - and besides you're a tough cookie!

Big hugs!!

cottagegurl
  #3  
Unread 03-22-2012, 02:33 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

Thank you so much for those encouraging words...and story of triumph and inspiration. I'm sure I will get through this...just having one of those days....I'm sure all will go well...
Glad to know what I am definitely not alone in these feelings.
Thanks so much!
Mackenzie
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  #4  
Unread 03-22-2012, 03:14 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

I was worried too, just like everybody always are. My way of getting through it was just to be quiet, I let the people around me take care of things, unless I just had to, as I was being checked into the hospital. All the while, I was wondering when I was gonna crack and refuse treatment. I thought I was gonna freak out when the real activity got started, but family told me beforehand to request a sedative as the nurses prepped me to go to the anesthesiologist. I remember speaking to him, and my family and him making jokes. The next thing I remember is waking up in my official hospital room. I don't remember the recovery room at all, and that worked out go for me, I probably would have lost it there too.

If you think you might need it, don't forget to ask!
  #5  
Unread 03-22-2012, 04:10 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

I had my TAH five weeks ago and I know exactly the anxiety you are facing. I almost canceled my surgery on a daily basis and had a breakdown, complete with shakes and upset stomache, every single day for the entire two weeks that I prepared for the big day. My kids are older, but my fear was the same. Ironically, it was my 19 year old daughter who calmed me down, night after night. She told me that I had no choice...that if I canceled this procedure, I would be facing it again eventually. She reminded me that I am strong...and she was right. You are in the business, so you know what to expect. True, that can add to the anxiety, but use it to your advantage. Be prepared going in and going under. I still amaze myself when I think that I actually did it! My greatest fear....and I did it! Your anethesiologist will mix up a nice coctail in advance and you will find yourself calmer than you thought possible. When people told me that, it was of no comfort, but I promise if you tell them in advance that you are freaking out, they will make the entire experience almost dreamlike. Nobody can do this for you. You are a mother and a career woman, so I KNOW you are tough. Lean on the sisters here, for support. There is such a huge reward awaiting you....the end of pain and suffering and a cool new understanding of exactly the kind of grit you are made of! I wish you a good experience and offer my support.
  #6  
Unread 03-22-2012, 04:21 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

I didn't know so many women were as scared as I was until I started looking at the titles to the threads.
  #7  
Unread 03-22-2012, 06:01 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

i totally understand how you feel, mine is the 10th of next month and im already nervous. not about me not waking up cuz ive had surgeries before but i am nervous about going into the operating room cuz im super claustrophobic and im nervous about how my mood is going to be afterwards. just wish i could fast forward and get to the day. i hate waiting.
  #8  
Unread 03-22-2012, 06:05 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

That was me Tuesday! I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and realized that my LAVH was two weeks to the day away and the panic set in. When my hubby got up, I was sitting on the couch crying and when he asked what was wrong, I started babbling about am I making the right decision, I don't know if I can do this, all the what if's, my recovery is going to take forever, I don't want my kids to see me like this, etc... Luckily he talked me down! My kids have been so supportive and encouraging and positive, too, and they're only 9 and 17! It's nice to know that we pre-op nervous wrecks have you ladies to give us encouragement and support from someone who's been there. Thank you so much for that! Reading your posts has helped me, too!
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Mackenzie!
Hugs to all!!
  #9  
Unread 03-22-2012, 11:29 PM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

Hi,

You're worries and doubts are very normal. I experienced the same anxiety. I had a prayer counselor come to my house a couple of days before my surgery as well as she was there the morning of my surgery.

Maybe this will help you.

I wish you good luck!
  #10  
Unread 03-23-2012, 11:57 AM
Re: The Momma in me is worrying

I experienced the same fears before my LAVH and I think anyone facing this type of surgery has similar thoughts. Don't be hard on yourself for it. YOu have to face those things and talking about them helps, like you are doing now. I imagine that being a nurse makes it harder because it makes you more aware of the possibilities!! But, also focus on how much better you will be feeling a few months from now when you are past your recovery and are period-free!!!!! It has been 2 1/2 yrs since my hysterectomy and I have NO regrets. My quality of life if so much better now and I hope the same for you. You are not alone!!! This site helped me so much through my surgery, both before and afterwards. There's nothing like talking to someone who's been on the road before you and can give you support.

rabianco2
LAVH Aug 2009
kept both ovaries
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