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Pre-op, anxious, scared Pre-op, anxious, scared

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  #1  
Unread 01-08-2002, 06:08 AM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this site, and before I go into a long story, I want to make sure this small piece gets posted. I spent an hour yesterday typing a story and it "disappeared" before I could post it, and I just sat and cried with frustration.
Anyway, I'm a 35 yr. old mother of 2 boys, married 14 yrs. My surgery date is 1/17/02 for removal of uterus only, possibly cervix too. I have a small fibroid (subserosal) and a complex endometrial mass. Doctor doesn't rule out uterine cancer, even though that's more common in older women. But, we don't all fit into nice, neat little categories, do we? He says mass looks unusual, being part liquid, part solid. I've been miserable since end of Oct. '01 with bloated abdomen and this "filled up" feeling. I'm used to going to the gym, but that ended when this problem started, so I feel like my body is falling apart in more ways than one. I'm anxious to feel better, but am scared that I'm opening up a can of worms. It's like I want God to guarantee that the rest of my life will be fine after this, and that I won't get divorced or lose either of my children.
Before I get carried away and write another novel, can anyone relate?
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  #2  
Unread 01-08-2002, 06:46 AM
Welcome Rachael!!!!!

Oh Rachael I can so relate!!!! I am almost three weeks post-op.
Before my surgery I was a basket case . Don't know what happened, I am normally the most peaceful laughing always full of joy person. But weeks before my surgery I was in a pit. I was consumed with it. I love the gym and work out about 4 to 5 times a week. I kept thinking will my life ever be the same after this is over with. I have 5 children and have been married almost 17yrs. I was worried about my sex life. I was worried about gaining weight. I was so determined to get my house organized before I went in that in a Brain Fog I accidently took my winter clothes boxes to the road and Mr. Garbage man hauled them away. Guess what??? I never did get my house the way I wanted it. Life goes on, people have been so sweet.
Especially my husband who arose to the occasion (shock to me) Anyways I finally had to say "Lord I have always said I trust you,and you have never failed me. I don't know why it had been so hard to trust you this time but I want to start over. " Well the day before my surgery I began to feel His peace. I am so glad it is over and I have so many wonderful things to look forward to. I will pray for you and am sending you a big and lots of love Jacqui
  #3  
Unread 01-08-2002, 07:18 AM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

Hi Rachael...there's not much I can add to Jacquie's post, but I wanted to pop in and send s your way. I was also VERY, EXTREMELY nervous before my hysterectomy and kept telling my husband I didn't think I could go through with it. I also had a mass in my uterus that my doctor could see on an ultrasound and during a hysteroscopy and D&C, but couldn't get to it until he did the hyst. Mine turned out to be intramural fibroids that were buried in the muscle of the uterus. I also had one subserosal fibroid that my doctor said was growing toward the ovary. I hope everything turns out well for you and you will be in my ers.

I will be waiting to hear your hysterectomy story.



Sherry
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  #4  
Unread 01-08-2002, 02:50 PM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

Hi Rachel! I could have written your post myself. I, too, am married and the mother of two boys. I exercise regularly and have had no symptoms until about Sept. of 2001. I have the exact same symptoms that you are experiencing which, for me, are more bothersome than painful. My doctor has diagnosed a "complex pelvic mass" behind my uterus. They cannot rule out cancer, but believe it is a degenerating fibroid. My surgery is scheduled for 1-11 and I am completely terrified. It isn't the surgery itself that scares me, but the possibility of having cancer. I worry about how my life and my family's life could be changed in an instant. What has helped me is getting as much information and support as possible. This web site has been an invaulable resource. Good luck with your surgery! Keep reading and posting.
  #5  
Unread 01-08-2002, 03:10 PM
Rachel and Emmie

Big to you both.

This is a hard stretchfor both of you, and it seems that worry gets the best of us all at these times, doesn't it?

You have to look at it that you have made the best decision for you. You are taking care of your body. You are moving in a positive direction. And you have all of us hystersisters rooting for you.

All the best to two special ladies-in-waiting.
  #6  
Unread 01-08-2002, 04:57 PM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

Rachel,
I completely understand how you feel. I am scheduled for my hyster on Jan. 16th and I am just about going out of my mind. I can't seem to think of anything else and cancer isn't even a concern for me. I have pelvic pain all the time, due to massive scar tissue. I also suffer from small fibroids and ovarian cysts. But still I am a basket case thinking of this surgery day.

Just keep thinking about how you'll be all better when it is over with. What ever they find inside you will be all gone! The surgeon will just take it out.

I don't even know how to deal with this pre surgery stress. I feel crazy.

Sparkler (colleen):halfmast:
  #7  
Unread 01-09-2002, 03:28 AM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

hi rachel,
i'm kinda in the same frame of mind lately. i wonder and worry about everything under the sun! i worry about the surgery, about anethesia, about my family, about trying to get everything done in time. my TAH/BSO is jan 24; and i swear sometimes i get myself so worried, that i'm afraid i'll just jump off the gurney and run out the door of the hospital just before they wheel me into surgery. when i get like that, i turn to my faith; and try to think about things that i'll be able to do after surgery that i missed last year because i was in so much pain. i love farming and flower gardens. my new fiance raises cattle, and i have a horse; but i've been in so much pain lately that i find myself avoiding the big critters so afraid they'll hurt my already painful middle. i've started getting gardening books and mags to start planning my flower garden, and to just daydream-- that seems to calm me down a bit. hang in there, the pain's almost over. eva
  #8  
Unread 01-09-2002, 12:04 PM
Right after you

Hello, I am scheduled for my hyst. on the 18th. I too am anxious, I just feel like I can't get enough post a notes. I am trying to get my hair done, home in order, clothes ( jamies) packed, things completed at work, always checking on this site, and most important my Son and Husband oh my the list just goes on and on. I think if I take a moment and slow down all I will do is worry about the surgery. I know though that we both will post our journey to the castle afterwards. Just think positive and how wonderful it is that we have such a great group of sisters.

Janifer
  #9  
Unread 01-09-2002, 02:38 PM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

My dear sister! You are going through so much, it's no surprise how you are feeling so rattled both emotionally and physically. I was very nervous before my surgery in June 2000; I even called the doctor's office and asked for anti-anxiety medicine. They told me to "take a warm bath" so I basically just had to deal with it. My physical problems and upcoming surgery were all I could think about, and I was climing the walls right up until the moment they gave me my relaxer pill when I got checked in. Except for during my (awful) divorce, I have never been so stressed. BUT, my hyst was more than a year and a half ago, and I am perfectly fine. I am amazed at how well I feel, so much better than before the hyst. I know it's a cliche that the waiting is the hardest part. But there is a brilliant beautiful light at the end of the tunnel, and it's a symbol of the peace and health you will fee when all is said and done. Please keep your mind on this whenever your mind runs away from you. You are probably stronger than you think. BLESSINGS to you. -MaggieC
  #10  
Unread 01-09-2002, 05:07 PM
Pre-op, anxious, scared

Hi Rachel,

I can relate to you completely. I am scheduled for a TAH/BSO on Jan 18. The closer I get to the date, the more nervous I become. It's all I can think about. I'm trying to get the house in order, cook some dishes to freeze, get all the things I need , tie up lose ends at work etc. I am worried about the surgery, that they will find something other than a fibroid. My brother-in law donated blood for me today and got sick two hours later so they will probably have to throw out the blood. My doctor wants to wait before starting HRT so I am worried about surgical menopause. I am preparing by husband for the possibility that I will become a lunatic and am certainly not looking foward to the hot flashes. Everyone at work is sick and I am worried that I'll catch something and they will have to postpone the surgery.
I guess it's normal to go a little crazy before surgery.

KarlyN
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