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Family trying to make me change my mind Family trying to make me change my mind

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  #1  
Unread 03-26-2012, 03:37 PM
Family trying to make me change my mind

Hi everyone! I will be having a TVH on April 9th 2012. I am having some issues with the people that are in my life right now concerning my surgery. First let me start off with giving you a little history as to why I have (FINALLY) ended up here. I have had the worst experience with my cycles as early as the age of 14. I went from Doctor to doctor and all they wanted me to do was get me on birth control pills and call it a day. I stayed on my cycles sometimes 9-12 days, passed a million blod clots, threw up sometimes 13 times in one day and was in constant pain all the time. I missed so many days of school (now work) it was crazy. I never understood why I was dealing with this and why none of the doctors understood why i was dealing with this all the time. I then met the most wonderful doctor in the world that took the time and figured out what was wrong. He couldn't see anyting on the ultrasound but he knew there was something wrong with all the symptoms I was having. I then had a laparoscopy done in 2003 and it was found that I had endometreosis!!!! There were so many adhesions found on my uterus that it was ridiculous. i was then put on lupron depot ( which gave the worst symptoms) and then back on the pills again, switched to the ring which gave me infection, then pills again, then iud (which came out of me 3 years after I had it in) then the implanon which didn't help, then back to the pills again last year. I was doing good until December when i noticed that my cycle was becoming more and more hurtful like it used to be. I came on my cycle twice in feb (never happened before) and i am having these burning pains in my stomach, my stomach gets so swollen and i have so much pressure that i look like i am 6 months pregnant!!! I can't even sit up at all because its so much pain and pressure. my bleeding is becoming black in the beginning like the first 2 days its that way and then black clots!! i mean i have no idea why this started but I can tell you I refuse to go through any of this for another month!! I can't take it and the only thing left to do is have a hysterectomy. Here is my issue (sorry that I went through my life history lol) I am 28 not married nor do I have kids and my family and the guy in my life don't think I am making the right decision. They think I should try to have a baby and then do it. Ummm no!! I never wanted kids and my doctor knew this because i was asking to have a hysterectomy at 19 and he told me no and that i would have to try everything first (which I have) and then he would make that decision (which he has!!!) I am starting to feel bad about it but I know I am not going to change my mind because if they were going through what i have gone through then I know this would be there choice without a doubt! How do I handle them and explain that its my life and my choice in a nice way and have them support me and be there for me while I am going through this surgery? I wish my grandmother was still here because she would be there no matter what
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  #2  
Unread 03-26-2012, 03:50 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I can't say that I know what you are going through...but I can say that no one can make this decision for you except for you! If this is going to help you...then you have to do what is best for you. Good Luck and Best Wishes!!
Mackenzie
  #3  
Unread 03-26-2012, 05:21 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

i too have some family members that dont support my decision. i just ignore them when they make the comments. its not their body so they have no idea what im(youre) going through. It's our bodies and we have a right to not be miserable. i am 27 and having total abdominal hysterectomy on april 10th. frankly i cant wait. i have a daughter and want more babies but made the decision that i want to adopt and give kids a chance at a future that dont have a home. my boyfriend supports me and agrees that it would be better to not be in pain anymore and severely sick during cycles. good luck and im here for you!
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  #4  
Unread 03-26-2012, 05:40 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

  Quote:
Originally Posted by iwillsurvive View Post
i too have some family members that dont support my decision. i just ignore them when they make the comments. its not their body so they have no idea what im(youre) going through. It's our bodies and we have a right to not be miserable. i am 27 and having total abdominal hysterectomy on april 10th. frankly i cant wait. i have a daughter and want more babies but made the decision that i want to adopt and give kids a chance at a future that dont have a home. my boyfriend supports me and agrees that it would be better to not be in pain anymore and severely sick during cycles. good luck and im here for you!
Thank you makenzie! iwillsurvive, you really just made me feel so much better!! your so right about the adoption part and if I get that feeling that I want kids then that is what I will do! I refuse to go another month like this.........I will be in touch and let you know how things go when I am done, please keep me informed with younas well!!
  #5  
Unread 03-26-2012, 06:23 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

im glad to have made you feel better. surgeries/events like this is when you realize who your real friends and family members are. who really loves you, who you can trust. im not saying disown your hunney and family, just dont let them upset you. if it gets worse, tell them to stop and that youre only interested in their support otherwise you dont want to hear it. my mother in law keeps telling me these horror stories about surgeries gone wrong. im so fed up. i dont need to hear this. ive had surgeries before but nothing this severe. just keep your head up and im here if you need to talk. feel free to befriend me and send me messages. yah i refuse to keep my daughter an only child, but that doesnt mean it has to be by blood. there are so many babies with bad homes or no homes at all. why be selfish? give them a chance at a future. keep me posted and i will keep you posted! big hugs
  #6  
Unread 03-26-2012, 07:49 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I'm 43yr old, have 3 kids and my sister was still trying to question my choice to have the surgery. She asked why..and I told her simply because it's my decision that's why.

You have to do what's best for you...you cannot please everyone. I'm sorry that you're getting this from your family.
  #7  
Unread 03-26-2012, 08:13 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I've gotten grief from some people too. For people like my friends or coworkers I just tell them straight up! At first I found myself explaining over and over and over again! Then I thought to myself "who am I trying to convince me or them?" But as soon as I realized that, I realized how sure I am of this decision. So now I tell them "yes!...I dont wana hear negative or non supportive you can keep it to yourself!" We have so much going on right now with our big day approaching, someone buzzing CRAP in my ear is certainly not on the agenda!

Stay strong girl! We'll soon be out of our misery
  #8  
Unread 03-26-2012, 08:22 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I am slightly surprised that your family doesn't get this. You have been through so much that it really makes sense. I think I would just say that it is your decision and they need to respect it. Hopefully they will come around. It is a personal decision and you have to make the right one for you.
  #9  
Unread 03-27-2012, 01:36 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

Isn't it strange that others don't understand that we no longer want to live with daily pain and bleeding? Nobody questions you if you need a tooth pulled, or your appendix or gall bladder taken out. I wish people would understand we are in some real discomfort even on good days!
  #10  
Unread 03-27-2012, 07:05 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

Ok I feel like crying right now!!!! You guys have no idea how much all of these post are making me feel right now!! I appreciate all of you guys and really am happy I am making this decision. I am so tired of all I have gone through and I refuse to have this happen another month!!! I thank God I found this site because I would be so lost right now without it. I definantly will be posting in the hopsital room lol!!! Thank you guys so much......... I will keep you all posted with everything!!! APRIL IS OUR MONTH GUYS!!!!!!
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