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Family trying to make me change my mind Family trying to make me change my mind

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  #11  
Unread 03-27-2012, 07:55 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

Thats why we have hystersister, for all the support.. Im sorry your family its question your decision.. You are big girl and know what you want in life.. Im sure once you have the surgery they will be here to support and help you through it.. I have 2 kids, even though I was done having babies this time its hard for me..
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  #12  
Unread 03-28-2012, 08:47 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

Most of us that choose hysterectomy don't actually have a choice ( not one we wish to live with). It isn't like we have decided to have a facelift, or tummy tuck. This isn't " elective surgery" for many of us. My Dr. said, " "unfortunately you need a hysterectomy". She went over the few remaining options I had left, told me why they were all bad ideas for me, and was pleased I said, " OK, let's do it." In the case of cancer ( not me) there is no choice at all. People should understand this is NEEDED surgery , or we wouldn't be doing it. A few days ago I had some bad pains and my DH looked at me and said, you really need this surgery so all your pains and problems will go away and you can be normal again". It made me happy to know that he doesn't see this as a CHOICE, he sees it as a necessary NEED!
  #13  
Unread 03-28-2012, 09:16 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I had my operation because of a risk of cancer - I didn't want it because I still hoped to have a child. I was in the exact opposite position to you - my friends and family were terrified I would choose NOT to have the hysterectomy! I did it because I came to realise it was the best solution to keep me alive, but I was still reluctant.

I want to say that I think if you are 100% sure that this is what you want, which seems to be the case, you should go for it. This is your life, not anyone else's! I wish I had been as positive as you because I really think that's half the battle! I wish you the best of luck.
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  #14  
Unread 03-28-2012, 09:35 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

thats nice that your hubby supports you like that. mine is the same way. we have talked about this for years and both agreed. we want another baby but why be selfish about it. there are so many kids out there in horrible foster homes or no homes at all that i would rather adopt and give a chance at a future. we both agree that even with how young i am, 27, this surgery is what i need at this point so i wont be in pain anymore or sick all the time and so i can finally start enjoying my life and be able to spend more time with him and our beautiful daughter. good luck to you all and if you feel strongly about getting this done like me, dont listen to the unsupporters, if they were in the same situation they would do the same thing, theyre all stupid, stay strong and do what makes you feel better mentally and physically.
  Quote:
Originally Posted by cathb911 View Post
Most of us that choose hysterectomy don't actually have a choice ( not one we wish to live with). It isn't like we have decided to have a facelift, or tummy tuck. This isn't " elective surgery" for many of us. My Dr. said, " "unfortunately you need a hysterectomy". She went over the few remaining options I had left, told me why they were all bad ideas for me, and was pleased I said, " OK, let's do it." In the case of cancer ( not me) there is no choice at all. People should understand this is NEEDED surgery , or we wouldn't be doing it. A few days ago I had some bad pains and my DH looked at me and said, you really need this surgery so all your pains and problems will go away and you can be normal again". It made me happy to know that he doesn't see this as a CHOICE, he sees it as a necessary NEED!
  #15  
Unread 03-28-2012, 10:50 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

You are going to feel sooo much better after your hysterectomy! Once you have recovered I hope the others see how absolutely necessary this is. My husband saw a difference in my my first week home. He knew I suffered but he says he can now see just how much!
I have a friend who is single, was having lots of problems and had a hysterectomy. I am so glad now that I supported her! I asked her if she was okay with this, she was and she was so excited to have it done!
  #16  
Unread 03-28-2012, 10:54 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I went through the same issues before my surgery mrstimberlake83.
I just explained that yes perhaps later down the line I might question my decision but that at that time (if such a time arrose) I would need their support as much as I needed it at the time of surgery.
We can't know our future and how we might feel but we know we are as sure as we can be right now thats its the best decision to help us in the future.

I am almost 4 months out and thankfully have been 1 of the fortunate ones with regards to healing.
My boyfriend who was a little worried about my decision has come to celebrate the change to our life in the last 4 months. We just came back from a weeks snowboarding and not having to find a bathroom every 20 minutes certainly helped him see how bad it was pre-surgery.

Good luck with your operation, may you heal well and enjoy the everything that changes for the better in the future !!
  #17  
Unread 03-28-2012, 11:07 AM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

mrstimberlake83, Hang in there girl! This is your decision to make. Its your life and if you choose to do this to improve the quality, then do it. I'm sure your family and friends mean well, but unless they have been in your shoes they can't understand. Most of us here have been there and we truly do understand. Keep coming here for support - we are here for you.
  #18  
Unread 03-28-2012, 01:19 PM
Re: Family trying to make me change my mind

I agree with all the other ladies here and it isn't something you just all of a sudden, spur of the moment agreed to like a new purse or pair of shoes...ohhhh shineyyyyy....this is an informed decision you and your doctor made reguarding your health and quality of life. I'm 33 and when my Dr told me I needed a hister I didn't tell any of my family at first. I finally did when they had volunteered me as photographer at a family friends wedding (I've done it for family/friends in the past), and i coudn't think up a good excuse to back out of it. I just said sorry, can't do it, I'm having a hyster, I'd rather not talk about it so please don't ask me about it and they were all jaw dropped and speachless.... I'm usually very sweet and quiet. My mom started asking questions and I said sorry this is not something i want to talk about and walked out of the room, they've been supportive and not as questioning since then...I've also decided i wanted a tummy tuck and I'm changing gyno's since the one i had was only willing to to TLH and take everything. I see no point in taking ovaries and cervix if they're healty, but if the new gyno agrees in taking everything I'll let him. Just remember you and your doctor know whats best for you and even though your family might have good intentions, if it's causing you stress, just let them know to back off a little. They love you so they're probably just offering their opinions. Hang in there, the road to recovery is right ahead!!!
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