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My dr just broke up with me (UPDATED) My dr just broke up with me (UPDATED)

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Unread 03-26-2012, 03:47 PM
My dr just broke up with me (UPDATED)

My hysterectomy was scheduled for April 6 about a month ago. I know this is the right choice for me and I am OK with this. I am so ready to remove the family of fibroids living in my uterus.
I have been doing extra at work so I will not be so far behind when I return. DH scheduled time off work and family is flying in to help out. I was looking forwork to no housework for a few weeks (I plan on taking full advantage of that excuse for as long as possible).
My dr is pregnant and there was a possibility of canceling if baby came early. I was fine with that. (I did wonder to myself about her bathroom breaks since it would take about 4 hours!)
Last week I called the nurse with questions about using a belly binder, gas and post op meds. She asked for me to come in and talk with the dr. Today when I saw the dr. she told me we did not have the right dr/patient relationship and she would not do the surgery! She explained that it was nothing I said or did. She said I asked the questions everyone else did. She said her gut was telling her not to do the surgery. I am really surprised at this and very disappointed. She did refer me to another dr in the same practice. I have never had a dr break up with me so I really do not know what to think about all of this.
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Unread 03-26-2012, 04:09 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

Wow. That's strange. It sounds like it's something amiss with her. If it were a man, though, I'd be more worried. With a woman doctor, it may just be her hormones or troubles in her life. Especially since she didn't give you a decent reason for backing out.

Who knows? Maybe she's squeamish at the sight of blood--pregnancy does funny things to us!

I hope you have an easy transition to the next doctor and all goes well.
Unread 03-26-2012, 05:25 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

How interesting. Personally, I think that she did the right thing... if she didn't feel good about the surgery. I mean, it is important for the doctor to feel confident going in. BUT... with that being said, what a pain in the butt for you!! Clearly, she still feels like your a candidate for surgery since she referred you to someone else (in the same practice, none the less), so really this just puts you back some. (which sucks!). Maybe she didn't feel that she was capable of doing the procedure. Personally, I think she could have given you a better idea of what was going on!
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Unread 03-26-2012, 05:27 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

It sounds strange but I wouldn't take it personally. To my thinking, that Dr has some problems and is less than professional. Maybe she is in the wrong profession. But if she feels that way, best you have a different Dr, you want someone who can be on board with the plan. I'd never see her again. I do hope you don't have delays or difficulties due to making a change. Best wishes for an easy surgery and recovery.
Unread 03-26-2012, 09:28 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me could you NOT take it personally? I am not one to get my feelings hurt easily, but if my Dr. Said that to me, i would be really, really upset. I dont think her gender matters in this case...i think it's really sexist to blame it on her being a pregnant woman. Sorry, but that offends me.

Obviously in the end, it is best she isnt your Dr. Anymore! I'm sorry this happened to you! I also hope you can find a new physician that you can trust!
Unread 03-26-2012, 09:49 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

I am not one to take things personally but this did hurt my feelings. I felt she was blaming me. I asked her the standard questions including her due date to know how much wiggle room we had. What concerns me is she stated she talked to the department head and agreed with her. She made it clear that there would be no discussion on this matter. This practice/hospital is ranked one of the best, now I'm not sure if I even want to see another doctor in the practice. I was not scared or nervous before but now is a different story. I will really question my next Dr!
I know things always happen for a reason and it always work out in the end.
Unread 03-26-2012, 09:57 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

Wow, who can you blame you for being scared or nervous? Is it an option for you to go to a completely new group? I can see why you would not want to see another Dr. In the awkward! I would try and put in a phone call to the Dept. Head and get more answers! Good luck
Unread 03-26-2012, 10:08 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

Buttercream thank you! I have already planned to call Dept Head tomorrow. I am very interested in hearing their side of the story. I am lucky that I do have choices of providers/hospitals. There are two big medical colleges /major hospitals within an hour drive from my home.
Unread 03-26-2012, 10:10 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

I agree with Buttercream - I would probably not feel comfortable going back to the same practice but would definitely put in a call to someone higher up - Dept Head or higher - to find out exactly what's going on.
Unread 03-26-2012, 10:13 PM
Re: My dr just broke up with me

I'd want a different group, too, and would want the dept heads story, too. This is an unusual event and you have to wonder where her thinking was. I'm glad you do have choices.

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