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I am a mess: surgery 5/31 I am a mess: surgery 5/31

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  #131  
Unread 04-13-2012, 09:55 PM
Re: I am a mess

That's great news! I am pleased to hear that there is a big, shining light at the end of the tunnel for you. Pesky Fibroids!
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  #132  
Unread 04-14-2012, 01:17 AM
Re: I am a mess

NotBrave!!!! I'm so happy for you! Now you can relax and have some peace of mind. I hope you have a great weekend!!
  #133  
Unread 04-14-2012, 01:54 AM
Re: I am a mess

Yayyy on the good news, notbrave!
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  #134  
Unread 04-14-2012, 10:33 AM
Re: I am a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by pcar68 View Post
That is wonderful news! Now try to relax and enjoy your weekend! I just got back from my ct scan so we will know by Monday if this huge mass is attached or just floating around. This was my last thing to so before surgery.
I will be praying for all good news from the CT. God bless.
  #135  
Unread 04-15-2012, 12:18 PM
Re: I am a mess

I just don't get it.

I recieved the good news that I do not have cancer yet I still have anxiety and feel down. Is it just because I still have to face a hysterectomy? I can't relax and feel positive. Of course I am not as bad as I was before the biopsy report but I still have those symptoms and they are still dominating my day.

What is wrong with me? Is this my life now?

I just want to cry. I already take an antidepressant from 10 years ago when I had anxiety attacks.

I think I was ok until this whole post menopausal bleeding thing started. I know there are fibroids and one is very large. I know I have to have a hysterectomy but I also know I do not have cancer. And I am over 60 so I don't need all those parts anymore.

I do wonder if losing them will cause other problems.

I just don't know why I am struggling so much. Does anyone have any insights?
  #136  
Unread 04-15-2012, 01:20 PM
Re: I am a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by NotBrave View Post
I just don't get it.

I recieved the good news that I do not have cancer yet I still have anxiety and feel down. Is it just because I still have to face a hysterectomy? I can't relax and feel positive. Of course I am not as bad as I was before the biopsy report but I still have those symptoms and they are still dominating my day.

What is wrong with me? Is this my life now?

I just want to cry. I already take an antidepressant from 10 years ago when I had anxiety attacks.

I think I was ok until this whole post menopausal bleeding thing started. I know there are fibroids and one is very large. I know I have to have a hysterectomy but I also know I do not have cancer. And I am over 60 so I don't need all those parts anymore.

I do wonder if losing them will cause other problems.

I just don't know why I am struggling so much. Does anyone have any insights?
Yes! I think you are completely in the normal realm right now. You have just been through a terrifying ordeal, one I am living right now. It puts way more stress on you that anything I can think of. The truth is you aren't feeling relief yet because it isn't over yet. You still have apprehensions because there is reason to be. I am sure it is also some type of post traumatic stress. It is hard to get our emotions from thinking the worst to all of a sudden have it be right again.

In my case, I had a clear cervical and uterine biopsy though I have an elevated CA125 and a 20 cm mass, but that doesn't completely rule out ovarian cancer that they are concerned about. It LESSENS but is totally not impossible to open me up and there it is. I am to be prepared either way. The only 100% biopsy for ovarian is unfortunately, the surgery.
So while I have not had a complete sigh of relief as you feel you should have, I do understand where you are coming from.
The prospect of major surgery, we can't downplay this, it is major and it is also a major change of life, no matter what your age. I am 43 and through with children too, I have yet to mourn the loss of that but I am sure it is coming. I think I am too wrapped up in that dang "C" word right now. I just want all this out, if it is causing this much drama, worry and pain, it needs to go. So I am a little gung ** for this surgery to happen.
On the good days that is.
On the off days, I am scared too. The unknown is the scariest part for any of us. This will also be my first real surgery, so I am scared of everything from my first catheter to incision.
I wish I had words to sooth you, I know that people I have talked to all went through these emotions and they said after it is all said and done the healing begins.
Just keep leaning on us and the boards and together we will all get through this, dark times and light.
Much love and hugs!!!!!
  #137  
Unread 04-15-2012, 01:36 PM
Re: I am a mess

NotBrave, Hugs to you! I know what you are going through but don't know how to put your mind at ease. Nothing or no-one can do that until this is over with for you. I was terrified to the point that it was making me sick. I had my surgery on Feb. 17th, and am well on my way to complete recovery. No cancer, which was my main concern, and I am feeling better every day. I can't tell you that it will be easy, but it's definitely do-able. You will get through this and come out on the other side a stronger person mentally and physically. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer in 2008 and this has given me great peace of mind. Do you have a date yet? Let us know when you do, and keep coming here for support. This site has been a life saver for me.

Take care and remember - one day at a time.

  #138  
Unread 04-15-2012, 02:00 PM
Re: I am a mess

Hi not brave

i too have been feeling very scared and anxious, my surgery is in 2 days and im terrified at the thought of having the op, i am a 30 year old mum to 3 young kids and hate the thought of leaving them as i get emotional, but just know that ur not alone as we are all here to support one another xxx
  #139  
Unread 04-15-2012, 02:19 PM
Re: I am a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by kianerinben3 View Post
Hi not brave

i too have been feeling very scared and anxious, my surgery is in 2 days and im terrified at the thought of having the op, i am a 30 year old mum to 3 young kids and hate the thought of leaving them as i get emotional, but just know that ur not alone as we are all here to support one another xxx
Good luck with your surgery! You will be fine and be able to enjoy your kids more after surgery. Just remember you are doing this for them as well as you. Take care and let us know how you are after your surgery.

  #140  
Unread 04-15-2012, 04:57 PM
Re: I am a mess

Having a hysterectomy - no matter for cancer or noncancer concerns - can cause tremendous emotional upheaval. You are saying goodbye to something that has made its presence known to you, for better or worse, on a regular basis for literally decades. And now that is being taken away from you. Of course you are upset. I cried when I was told I needed a hysterectomy, cried several times before the surgery, cried many times after. This is an emotional roller coaster. Have patience with yourself, and know that all these feelings are completely normal.

(((Hugs))))
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