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I am a mess: surgery 5/31 I am a mess: surgery 5/31

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Unread 04-20-2012, 09:30 AM
Re: I am a mess

Originally Posted by vonnie123 View Post
Sweetie I had c section not bad a lil pain cor aweek and you will be fine there is nothing you cant handle. You are stronger than you think and you will be fine. Lol
Vonnie I am afraid of my own shadow right now. Why oh why am I so petrified? I'm afraid from beginning to end. I don't know what is wrong with me. It is just awful. Mornings are the worse. I wake up and it rushes in. As the morning goes on I do get better.

Do you have any news yet? One of my favorite things to do right now is to pray for others and take my focus of myself. I pray for you Vonnie.

Thank you.
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Unread 04-20-2012, 09:34 AM
Re: I am a mess

Oh my gosh ladies I do not like mornings. I hope the day will come when I can wake up and not have the rush of intense anxiety, fear and wanting to cry and cry. I battle it but it is there every morning to be battled every day. It is so aweful.

Too many "I's" in this post. I am not proud of that.
Unread 04-20-2012, 12:25 PM
Re: I am a mess


I am having surgery 05/30, so we are right in this together. My heart goes out to you. I am one of those that puts on a brave face and tries to make it easier for everyone else, so even though I have some pretty great fears, I tend to cry alone and just research, research, research! By holding it all in or appearing to keep it together...I am not being brave or not struggling...just too scared or prideful to let my guard down and show my vulnerability. I would guess every woman that has faced a hysterectomy has had fears, tears, and questions and we all just face it in our own unique way that allows us to cope best.

I read through this entire thread this morning and I wondered...did you talk to your doctor about your anxiety? I know you said you are on anti-anxiety meds. I wonder with all of the stress if you may need to have your doseage adjusted. Also, what time of day do you take your medicine. If you take it once a day in the morning...it may be about out of your system when you wake up, hence all of the anxiety rushing in and then as it regulates in your system later in the day...the anxiety lessens. I am not a doctor or know your routine, but it may be something you want to discuss with your doctor.

Hugs and prayers for you.


I just wanted to encourage you as well, I had a partial parodidectomy about 8-9 years ago due to a tumor on my saliva gland. I noticed a pea size lump at the base of my jaw and after a year with a general surgeon monitoring I went to an ENT. They scheduled me for surgery immediately. It was benign, but not pea size, rather about the size of half a boiled egg. The surgeon did a wonderful job, although quite large, my scar is barely visible and no one notices unless I point it out. It was a major surgery for me, but I was so thankful for the surgeons that worked on me and helped me heal. I hope this doesn't scare you, I just wanted you to know there was someone else out there that had been through something similar...please let me know if you have any questions!

Too the Moon: Your post with prayers, songs, and Scripture were so very encouraging to me! I keep this verse in my thoughts..."God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind!"

Everyone else your stories and encouragement for NotBrave have also encouraged me...thank you all for sharing.
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Unread 04-20-2012, 06:32 PM
Re: I am a mess

To all I went to ent said its not a tumor or cancer. Going to do mri and see dentist thank you so much for your prayers. Not brave. Praying for others is wonderful I do this everytime I wake up and god puts me back to sleep. We serve a mighty god and to him be the glory. When we take our eyes off us and put them on him life makes sense. Not brave you will come out of this feeling better. Our uterous can be bothersome and you will no longer have to fear cancer there. Praying for you and a peace that passes all understanding
Unread 04-20-2012, 07:45 PM
Re: I am a mess

Not brave---I was where you were 6 weeks plus ago. I was terrified and having panic attacks all night long. The surgery was much less painful and traumatic than I feared. After talking to the surgeon and my gyn urologist I went for a SAH leaving the ovaries so I would not feel less of a woman. let your hyster sisters support you, read the post surgery reports, and talk to your doctor until you are comfortable.
Unread 04-21-2012, 11:03 AM
Re: I am a mess

Good morning ladies,

Thank you again for your encouragement! And I am so happy to hear the good news for many of you.

There are many of us that are a mess as we look ahead to our surgery and with the help of those that are past the surgery and are now encouraging us we will make it!

The unknown is so scary. I try to define exactly what I am afraid of but it comes hard to me. No one ever wants to say .. oh it was not bad at all plus it is varied due to the different kinds we have.

I guess I think the "everything out incisional" is going to have me in excrutiating pain and unable to cope.

I also think I will feel alone and scared at the hospital and no one will care about me personally, just professionally.

I could go on but then I would get myself all anxious and I don't want to go there.

I just want hope that it won't be a nightmare and I will be ok even the first week. Big sigh.

I am a baby.
Unread 04-21-2012, 11:04 AM
Re: I am a mess

PS: where can I go to see what all the letters mean that people post after their names?
Unread 04-21-2012, 12:26 PM
Re: I am a mess

Hi Notbrave
Everyone has worries about what the surgery will be like and recovery. Everyone seems to have a different experience. I found it helped talk to my friend base as many of them had had surgery and could explain what recovery was like.
I was very worried about blood clots as was my dr. I had surgery at 16 that resulted in a blood clot. He made me try every option before he would give into surgery.
I am one week post op and thankfully no blood clots. If you are spiritual at all ask god for support and he will be there for you.
Good Luck, hope to hear all went well when your surgery is over.
Unread 04-21-2012, 05:42 PM
Re: I am a mess

Originally Posted by NotBrave View Post
PS: where can I go to see what all the letters mean that people post after their names?
Here is an acronym list.
Unread 04-21-2012, 05:46 PM
Re: I am a mess


Just keep taking deep breaths. I had a TAH BSO. The pain was controllable, and subsided with time. Recovery had taken a while, and I am still not 100% but I am getting close.

You can do this. You are truly stronger than you know. We will be there right beside you all along. You are never alone - not on this site.


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