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I am a mess: surgery 5/31 I am a mess: surgery 5/31

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Unread 04-04-2012, 09:57 AM
Re: I am a mess

Thank you again everyone. This anxiety can be (and often is) polarizing and like a nightmare. I guess my main fear is cancer. Hopefully it all is just the fibroids (especially the grapefruit sized one). I am sure since my doc couldn't get any tissue with the "easy" type of biopsy she will want to do what ever kind it is where you are knocked out in the operating room. Have you experience with those? Then the waiting.

I do keep busy because I still work. When I come home I like to rest in my favorite chair and watch fluff on TV. It is kind of my safe place. I sleep fairly well but oh when I wake up it all hits me again like a ton of bricks and the intense anxiety washes over me.

I try to stay close to the Lord and trust Him but so often I fail and that makes me feel terrible.

When I do get to the other side of this bad dream I plan to encouarge as many as I can on this site that are still on this side of it all like I am now.

Please keep holding me close because I am a scared, very scared baby.
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Unread 04-04-2012, 10:18 AM
Re: I am a mess

I'm thinking of you NotBrave. Remember what Christopher Robin said to Pooh: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

When I read you words it takes me right back to how I felt pre op. I really understand how scary and difficult this is. How it creeps into your every thought during the day and your dreams at night. How everything in your life is in a holding pattern waiting, waiting. All you can do is the best you can do. And then the next morning get up and do the best you can do that day too.

Please don't feel terrible about lapses in trust in God. He understands your heart and He knows you're strong and you can do this. I believe that.

Unread 04-04-2012, 12:50 PM
Re: I am a mess

Prayers for you. My surgery was on March 22nd and I know just how you feel. The thought of surgery was always there with so many emotions. I too try to stay close to the Lord and pray for strength. God understands. Now that I am on the other side, life isn't on hold but I can finally take the time mending both body and soul. You too will be feeling better and with that knowledge help the others you are needing surgery. In my prayers and thoughts.
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Unread 04-04-2012, 02:33 PM
Re: I am a mess

Originally Posted by NotBrave View Post
Hello. I am brand new here and just learning how to use this site. My hysterectomy isn't scheduled yet but it will be soon. I am so filled with anxiety I have lost 10 pounds in a week due to nausia from the anxiety. I had some slight post menopausal bleeding and then an ultrasound that showed a great big fibroid and a thickening lining. Then a pelvic MRI. It was recommended I get a biopsy and a hysterectomy. I had the biopsy after many tries due to a tightly closed cervix. Now I am waiting. It looks like I will have the old fashioned hysterectomy and they will be taking everything out since I am 62. My worse fears causing the anxiety are 1) cancer 2) the operation itself and not waking up again 3) blood clots after and PAIN. Can anyone encourage me? I'm a mess. Thank you.
My older sister went through this exactly, in her late 50s. Hers was a non-cancerous fibroid that was just insanely big and severe adenomyosis. They took everything out and she says she never felt better!

I will be praying for you.

((((Big Hugs)))))
Unread 04-05-2012, 09:59 AM
Re: I am a mess

Thank you New Beginning ! Hearing others about my age had a large fibroid and no cancer and all was well helps me tremendously!

Did she also have a thicker lining ? Did others have thicker linings and it was not cancer? Can fibroids make the lining thicker? After two days of trying to get a sample of the lining in the office, then no tissue in the sample, I had clotty bleeding off and on for days. That is really the first "signifigant" bleeding I had. Prior to that I had a little sotting and a closed tight cervix.

At the time of the second day of trying to get into the cervix there was a ruch of fluid which the dr said could have made the lining appear thicker on the imaging. Then I was wondering if all that clotty stringy blood was also something that made the lining appear thicker and it is out too.

I have a D&C and a hysterscopy on Tuesday the 10th.

Unread 04-05-2012, 07:52 PM
Re: I am a mess

I had a D&C and Hysteroscopy for my biopsy due to cervical stenosis. This is a short outpatient procedure that will allow your doctor to get a good lab sample and also to see what is going on. She will have lots of good information to see what next steps are best for you. The hospital experience in Pre-op and Recovery will help prepare you for the Hysterecomy surgery if that is next. Try not to worry. Take it one step at a time.
Unread 04-05-2012, 08:20 PM
Re: I am a mess

Thank you. Is there much recovery time?

I am not sure why I get this crippling anxiety when it comes to my health. Everytime I have something todo with health (even small stuff), I always think the very worse. I can handle other situations that are scary but health stuff fills me with wave after wave of anxiety. I am trying hard to surrender it all to the Lord but I keep taking it back. Sigh.
Unread 04-05-2012, 08:34 PM
Re: I am a mess

I spent about 30 minutes awake in Recovery then a short time in a holding area with my husband until I was awake enough to go home. My procedure was at 7:30am and I think we were back home by 10:45am. I took it easy for a few days because I had had general anesthesia but other than that there was no real recovery. I told my GYN I was nervous and she told me this procedure was very minor. You'll be fine on the 10th. If more surgery is needed later you'll know part of what to expect as far as the hospital routines go.
Unread 04-05-2012, 08:51 PM
Re: I am a mess

Sweetie, God understands your fears and He will be with you every step of the way, even in the operating room and with the surgeon. He will take care of you. I used the words of a hymn before my surgery, that was very calming to me, and I could feel the prayers of many people. My hymn was "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms". I was STILL nervous and that is natural for all of us. Many times a thickened lining is NOT cancer, so that is encouraging. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. You have many friends at HysterSisters who know exactly what you are feeling and we are here for you, night and day. I'm sorry you have such a long time to wait for your surgery. That time will pass quickly and I'm sure you'll feel much better once it is done. God Bless You and give you courage and strength.

over the moon
Unread 04-05-2012, 11:36 PM
Re: I am a mess

NotBrave, your feelings of anxiety are completely normal. I was terrified before my surgery that I had cancer. I thought post menopausal women didn't get fibroids. I was wrong! My doctor found three masses and recommended a hysterectomy. I had to wait a month and it was the longest month of my life. You will get through this and come out fine on the other side. I am seven weeks post op and feeling really well. I still have some fatigue but it's getting better all the time. Take a deep breath and try to relax. Concentrate on some things that make you happy like spending time with family members or good friends. Remember to take it one day at a time. This too shall pass. God has this!


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