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I am a mess: surgery 5/31 I am a mess: surgery 5/31

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  #51  
Unread 04-07-2012, 11:42 AM
Re: I am a mess

Ugh Morning again so I am having waves of anxiety washing over me. I am going to try to do some yardwork and taxes today. I really just want to crawl into a ball and cry. So scared all the time.
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  #52  
Unread 04-07-2012, 12:55 PM
Re: I am a mess

:hugs5: honey. We've been where you are now. Keep busy. You can do this.
  #53  
Unread 04-07-2012, 01:18 PM
Re: I am a mess

Not Brave, hugs to you. It is scary when you're wondering what's going on. And some of those "stronger personality" women might have been just as worried and scared when it was their turn.

I can tell you that I was also terrified. I mean, I knew it was necessary, had no qualms about having it done. I think I was more scared of being put to sleep than I was the possibility (and now reality) of cancer. But I told the anesthesiologists that I was nervous of that and of being sick after and for them to use whatever they could to prevent it, and they did. The surgeries (D&C first, then hysterectomy) were not nearly as bad as I worried they would be, thank God.

Your husband sounds great! Let him help you, and know that many of us are praying for you. I had lots of people praying for me and it does help. Just take it one step at a time.

Best of luck! I'm impressed that you can do taxes in the midst of all this. LOL. I still need to finish mine.
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  #54  
Unread 04-07-2012, 01:47 PM
Re: I am a mess

NotBrave, Hugs to you. I haven't been on here for a few days. I have been doing just that - yardwork and taxes! Ugh!! I know exactly how you feel. I was paralyzed by fear before my surgery, but everything came out fine. No Cancer and I am healing very well. You will get through this. You will come out fine and put this behind you. Stay busy and remember to breathe! Keep coming here for support. We will be with you every step of the way.

:bunnyhug:
  #55  
Unread 04-07-2012, 02:32 PM
Re: I am a mess

Dear Not So Brave,

I am 69. I am sorry you are so scared. It is normal and natural to be scared and it's OK to have fear. We all have gone thorough our share of that. I was scared, too, and I can share how peace and calm overtook me at one point, just prior to both of my surgeries: a D & C/Hysteroscopy on 01/20/12 by my OBGYN and a total Hysterectomy and staging of very early Endometrial "C" on 02/13/12 by a GYN/Oncologist. I do not need radiation nor chemo, for which I am very thankful! (PLEASE, PLEASE remember that a LARGE percentage of thickened Endometrial linings are benign!)

Having Jesus as my savior, I prayed to God, in Jesus's name, for a long time one night. During my sleep afterwards, He gave me the words to a great old hymn, which I used as my "Motto" for both surgeries with general anesthesia. I went over and over the words to this great hymn in my mind on each surgery date, as I was being prepared for surgery. These words gave me great peace and calm, in addition to the many prayers of family, friends and churches on my behalf. The words to this old hymn are: "What have I to dread, what have I to fear? Leaning on the Everlasting arms! I have peace complete with my Lord so near! Leaning on the Everlasting arms! Leaning on Jesus, Leaning on Jesus, safe and secure from all alarms. Leaning on Jesus, Leaning on Jesus, Leaning on the Everlasting arms!" I hope you are familiar, too, with the poem, "Footsteps", where Jesus is carrying us over the bumps in life's journey. The following scriptures also helped me: "What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee", "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee", , "And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world", "By His stripes ye are healed and made whole" and "I can do ALL things through CHRIST, which strengtheneth me". He miraculously made our bodies with the ability to assist in their healing, and to even heal themselves! (On the day of my hysterectomy, the nurse exclaimed how CALM I was! She asked me if I had had my calming shot already. I told her I had not had that shot yet, and I shared with her what made me so calm. I also told her that a group of Baptist Deacons were praying for me that very hour, at their prayer breakfast! Her eyes sparkled and a big smile came over her face as she told me that my surgeon was a praying man, too. She told me how he had recently knelt by the bedside of one of his patients and prayed for her healing! THAT gave me GREAT peace, as well)!!

A word of advice: I would not give my regular OBGYN the "go ahead" to do a partial or total hysterectomy if he/she finds something abnormal looking or suspicious during your D&C/Hysteroscopy. Wait for the pathology report. If there is "C", or if it is just "suspected", and you are told you need a hysterectomy of any sort; request a referral to a GYN/Oncologist for that major surgery. If your OBGYN does the surgery, and it turns out to be "C", (I pray it is NOT!); then you'll STILL require a 3rd surgery from a GYN/ONC, to do washings and lymph node biopsies in order to stage the "C", as they are the only ones qualified and trained to do the required washings and lymph node biopsies.

I am here for you and I will be praying for you Tuesday as you have your surgery, and for a good report from pathology. I will also be praying for our other sisters who face upcoming surgeries. I am praying for Vonnie as she has the lump in her salivary gland assessed. There is great power in prayer and God is very near and dear to all of us!

God Bless You, Not So Brave, and may you feel His peace, both now and on Tuesday! You CAN do this and you will be FINE! The great part is you will be asleep during the surgery and when you wake up, it will all be over! I'm sending you big hugs and best wishes. Do share your results with us and let us all know how you are doing. We CARE!!!!

In Christ's Love,
Over the moon
  #56  
Unread 04-07-2012, 08:53 PM
Re: I am a mess

Dear all that have been helping me!

My gosh but I am having a hard time with this. I wonder if I will feel better once the D&C thing is over. I suppose my big fear is cancer even though fibroids (one grapefruit size) and a thicker liner on the MRI started all this (I had very slight spotting).

To those that had an incision .... how painful is it? My imagination has me either in agony or drugged into a stupor. I HATE taking drugs.

To those that had everything out ... will my hair begin to fall out? Will I age fast (wrinkles etc), Do I have to take hormones and worry about breast cancer from them?

See my crazy mind? Weak smile.
  #57  
Unread 04-07-2012, 09:11 PM
Re: I am a mess

Dear Not brave

I did not have a D and C first and had a SAH. I was terrified of the abdominal incision which was necessary because fibroid had become so large. The pain management used was good. I had a spinal block, general and a tummy block. Yes there was pain if I moved wrong, and it still hurts to cough, sneeze and laugh if I don't hold tummy (I am 3.5 weeks post op) but I was off pain meds in 5 days and driving after a week. The pain from the incision was far less than I had thought it would be although I really noticed when the block started wearing off. I was a total wreck before surgery but was fine once it happened. I was crying and having panick attacks and even spoilt a holiday/vacation by over-stressing. The sisters on this site are great/
  #58  
Unread 04-07-2012, 09:29 PM
Re: I am a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by NotBrave View Post
Dear all that have been helping me!

My gosh but I am having a hard time with this. I wonder if I will feel better once the D&C thing is over. I suppose my big fear is cancer even though fibroids (one grapefruit size) and a thicker liner on the MRI started all this (I had very slight spotting).

To those that had an incision .... how painful is it? My imagination has me either in agony or drugged into a stupor. I HATE taking drugs.

To those that had everything out ... will my hair begin to fall out? Will I age fast (wrinkles etc), Do I have to take hormones and worry about breast cancer from them?

See my crazy mind? Weak smile.
I had a TAH BSO. The pain was moderate to severe for the first three or four days, but it was very controllable with narcotics and 600 mg Motrin. Everyone is different - they will ask you what your pain level is and give you what you need to control the pain. Your body heals better when it is not fighting pain.

I lost everything and I have not lost my hair. And as we get older, we all get wrinkles! I am on hormones - low dose estrogen - as my menopause symptoms were too severe without it. I am not worried about increase in breast cancer. On the balance it is better for my health to be on the hormones. Talk with your doctor about that as whether or not you can take it depends on your health and health history.

(((Hugs)))
  #59  
Unread 04-07-2012, 10:09 PM
Re: I am a mess

Thank you for replying. I really do appreciate that someone always answers me. It makes me feel like I am not alone and people, even those I have never met still care about me.

Did anyone recover in a recliner rather than bed? I have a comfy one and it is automatic. It is in my office across from a bathroom with a high toilet. All my creature comforts are in my office ... TV, computer etc. It always feels like my safe place. I was wondering if a recliner is an option.

My bedroom does have a bath attached but no TV etc.

Thank you.
  #60  
Unread 04-07-2012, 10:27 PM
Re: I am a mess

That is really a personal choice. Some ladies have a better time sleeping in their recliner, some sleep in their bed.

I slept in my bed, but then spent my days in my favorite room - which is our lower floor family room. It is also where our TV is.

Your "safe" place is a good place to recover. You will have alot of healing to do - physically, mentally and emotionally.

in there...

(((Hugs)))
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