Waiting and worried | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

Waiting and worried Waiting and worried

Thread Tools
  #1  
Unread 03-30-2012, 06:13 AM
Waiting and worried

Hi all I'm new to the site but so far it looks like everyone has some good advice.

I'm 30 and waiting on my date for a total hysterectomy keeping my ovaries. My surgeon said it should be within the next 4 weeks but I'm already starting to stress! It's not the medical side that worries me, I'm an AIN in a hospital so that side is fine but I'm really worried about what is going to happen once I'm at home.

My husband is really not behaving in a supportive manner, he doesn't want to know or talk about whats happening. When I tried to talk about what I can't do post op he just laughed and said I don't do much anyway.

Now I know that he is probably making jokes to make himself feel better but I'm really starting to think that I'm going to have to come home and pick up where I left off, caring for him and our son. How can I get it across that this is a big thing?? I'm having the old style abdominal op and I just dont think he gets that its major surgery.

I just wish the hospital would ring and make a date then at least I can get organized
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Unread 03-30-2012, 01:09 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

I had the same type of operation as you're having - abdominal, keeping ovaries. Believe me, when he sees how hard it is just getting around for the first few days - even getting out of bed is a performance! - he'll realise that you did indeed have major surgery and you're not up to doing much!

Meanwhile, once you get your date, I'd recommend getting all the big stuff done - housecleaning, laundry etc. - and freezing some meals. Everything else, post-op, tell your husband or family it's up to them for a few weeks! You work in a hospital so you'll know how important it is not to do too much too soon (I did, and paid for it with a scary bleeding episode!).

Best of luck!

Christina
  #3  
Unread 03-30-2012, 03:48 PM
Re: Waiting and worried


I'm sorry you're feeling unsupported at home. Men have different ways of dealing with major life issues. Some get quiet, some get flippant and some become suffocating. Here is a link to a site just for men. I suggest you forward the link to him and ask him later what he thought. Hopefully he will get a better perspective of what's involved and what your recovery will be like.

http://misterhystersisters.com/

I'm sending and wishing you the best.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4  
Unread 03-30-2012, 04:45 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

Men do have different ways of hiding their fear,..but for him to say you dont do much is just mean. This sounds like the perfect time to make him aware of this! He will change his tune when he realizes how hard you do work.
I would get the big things done before your surgery, but believe me, you will not to able to much of anything the first few days post op. Even if i wanted to do 5 loads of laundry, there was no way my ody wouldve let me!
  #5  
Unread 03-30-2012, 06:29 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

Thanks to everyone for your comments and I'm hoping he will come around like everyone has said. The thing is I have a mental illness and I have to look after myself for that. Hubby doesn't really understand and I think its just easier for him if he ignores whats going on. But with the hysterectomy that is a physical illness and he can understand it. I dont know, I guess I will have to just hope he picks up his game when the time comes. I spoke to my mum about this and she just laughed like I was making a big deal out of nothing. I was kinda hoping for some support from her seeing how she had the op herself but to be honest I'm not overly surprised.

I'm sorry to be such a whinger, just nerves I think. Maybe I'll get stuck into the cleaning and take my mind off things.
  #6  
Unread 03-30-2012, 07:15 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

  Quote:
Originally Posted by supernatural_8 View Post
Hi all I'm new to the site but so far it looks like everyone has some good advice.

I'm 30 and waiting on my date for a total hysterectomy keeping my ovaries. My surgeon said it should be within the next 4 weeks but I'm already starting to stress! It's not the medical side that worries me, I'm an AIN in a hospital so that side is fine but I'm really worried about what is going to happen once I'm at home.

My husband is really not behaving in a supportive manner, he doesn't want to know or talk about whats happening. When I tried to talk about what I can't do post op he just laughed and said I don't do much anyway.

Now I know that he is probably making jokes to make himself feel better but I'm really starting to think that I'm going to have to come home and pick up where I left off, caring for him and our son. How can I get it across that this is a big thing?? I'm having the old style abdominal op and I just dont think he gets that its major surgery.

I just wish the hospital would ring and make a date then at least I can get organized
I know you are worried and I am sorry you feel unsupported. I can tell you when I got home from the hospital I couldn't do much the first week. My DH took the week off to help me. See if you can set up anyone coming over to help you the first week as you will not be able to do much. Everything will be fine. I had hardly any pain and no bleeding. My biggest issue was being tired easily. Remember no lifting for awhile.

Blessings
  #7  
Unread 03-30-2012, 10:07 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

Do you have other family members around? Or friends who know you will be going through this who would be able to help?
  #8  
Unread 03-31-2012, 08:56 AM
Re: Waiting and worried

My Dh is kind of the same. One one hand he just doesn't "get it" on the other he thinks it is the big secret that we have to hide from the world. Really, I mean we had 3 kids people probably know I have a uterus.
  #9  
Unread 04-09-2012, 08:32 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

My mum is 5 mins away and I have talked to her about my fears but she just laughs it off and tells me I am over reacting. Not surprising really she has never been what you would call supportive. When I told her I was getting an hysterectomy all she could do was rave on about how horrible hers was and how terrible things were for her.

I'm trying to not freak out about this, I am 95% sure hubby will step up when the time comes.
  #10  
Unread 04-09-2012, 10:42 PM
Re: Waiting and worried

Awww supernatural. I can completely relate! my hubby has not said a word either and I know he won't. He did the same thing when I had an ablation and tubal and I once caught him roll his eyes when I talked about that procedure so I said nothing more and plan on doing the same for the hysterectomy. The reason why (though it may sound selfish) is that there is something wrong medically and this is for me. To fix something that isn't right and get on with life instead of living life being plagued with something. I will clean before hand and get all the laundry done however he will have to make due for a bit. He may surprise me but if he doesn't i'm prepared. i'm no stranger to it. Remember we are all having this done for some reason or another but the outcome is for a better life! In finding this place you have found friends that know or are going through what you are going through and will give you the support you need.
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
13 Replies, Last Reply 06-07-2009, Started By mlynnwi
9 Replies, Last Reply 11-03-2008, Started By AlisicaW
4 Replies, Last Reply 08-13-2007, Started By kat 1215
5 Replies, Last Reply 07-13-2007, Started By spiritedhorse
5 Replies, Last Reply 11-29-2005, Started By LadyBama
3 Replies, Last Reply 06-24-2005, Started By Sayyadina
1 Reply, Last Reply 01-20-2005, Started By matte
7 Replies, Last Reply 11-13-2004, Started By bertha04
5 Replies, Last Reply 04-14-2002, Started By kmarie61
2 Replies, Last Reply 04-10-2002, Started By Domestic Goddes
2 Replies, Last Reply 02-04-2002, Started By pudge9
3 Replies, Last Reply 05-01-2001, Started By Mindyrae
1 Reply, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)
14 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN
8 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN
7 Replies, Hysterectomy Options and Alternatives
2 Replies, Separate Surgeries
4 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN
5 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN
6 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

December 4,2020

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement