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desperate...please help desperate...please help

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Unread 04-02-2012, 09:19 PM
Re: desperate...please help

You are totally not alone. I have felt the same off and on for quite a while now. Just try to relax. I know at times it doesnt seem possible but it is needed! I have stressed myself out so much that i have broken out with pimples everywhere. ugh. just breathe and find something to keep you busy. yes you will still be a woman. we all will. i have wondered the same thing but reassure myself that i am just removing some of my body parts, not my entire womanhood and self worth. big hugs

Originally Posted by zenobia11 View Post
I cant think see or breathe....I am freaking out....
Somebody please help me.
I am bleeding for the last time, as my tah is in two days from now. The extreme sadness and fear is bordering on desperation to get out of my own head.....Can someone please tell me that i will still be a woman...that my duty to bleed on the earthh is not my only duty as a woman here....that i will be upright again...that i wont have a bowel or my bladder nicked.....will someone please tell me that i won't feel that there is glass in my vagina...that it wont be shortened and sex will be pleasurable again....that i will *** again....Can someone please tell me that i won't be all alone and helpless through all of this....that my family will assist me, and that the pain will not be so excrutiating that i will wish for death....please...can somebody stop this noise in my head?
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Unread 04-02-2012, 09:55 PM
Re: desperate...please help

Your not alone. I feel this way too!
Unread 04-02-2012, 10:15 PM
Re: desperate...please help

Zenobia, I too am having a TAH, in a couple of days. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared too, but I can't go on with the abdominal/pelvic pressure, prolonged periods, and feeling tired all the time. I know I have made a right decision for me. I have been doing a lot of praying to God, and have come to a peace about it. I wish the same for you. I will keep you in my prayers! We're not alone. I read a statistic that said a hysterectomy was performed ever 12 minutes in the U.S. Take care sister
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Unread 04-02-2012, 10:28 PM
Re: desperate...please help

I had a TAH almost 3 months ago and want you to know it will be fine! The pain is totally manageable. I only had my worst pain the first week then just soreness and some mild shooting pains after that. And by worst pain, it was more like pulling a muscle playing tennis or kickball. I have had much worse pain with my period than I did waking up from this surgery. And they have amazing drugs at the hospital that will ensure you feel practically no soreness at all! And know that you are totally a woman! An organ or two doesn't make or break us. It's being in touch with the spiritual feminine essence that really makes us who we are. I have found my vagina to be the same size as before and it felt completely fine after the surgery. Was a teeny bit sore but nothing to be alarmed by at all. Orgasms are better now. And the surgeon was awesome and everything went smoothly without complication. These are highly skilled professionals and I don't second guess what they know. Just have faith and confidence in them and you'll do fine. Be at peace! You have sisters here supporting you!
Unread 04-03-2012, 12:03 AM
Re: desperate...please help

Of course, I cannot (nor can anyone else) guarantee that you'll have a successful surgery, or that you'll not suffer any complications, or that your sex life will return to normal, or anything else.

This having been said, however -- I can tell you that most hysterectomy patients do very well after surgery. The complication rate is low.

But (and this is a very big "but") if you do happen to be in the group of women who have complications, the fact that "most" women do well after surgery will not mean a thing.

The question I have for you is this: Are you having this surgery as your last (and best) chance to regain your health? If the answer to this question is "yes", then you can step out in faith, knowing you're doing the best you can. And in this case, you can better accept it if things don't go 100% perfect. Even if you do have a complication, most of them are risks associated with any surgery, or they are at least similar to other complications.

I hope things go well for you.
Unread 04-03-2012, 01:33 AM
Re: desperate...please help

Originally Posted by iwillsurvive View Post
You are totally not alone. I have felt the same off and on for quite a while now. Just try to relax. I know at times it doesnt seem possible but it is needed! I have stressed myself out so much that i have broken out with pimples everywhere. ugh. just breathe and find something to keep you busy. yes you will still be a woman. we all will. i have wondered the same thing but reassure myself that i am just removing some of my body parts, not my entire womanhood and self worth. big hugs
Oh boy, do I know the feeling. I am just completing 5 weeks post-op today. I worried about everything before my surgery, up until the few days leading up to it. I was relaxed by then - knowing I needed to take care of it before my symptoms got worse.

I felt great right after surgery. I felt *horrible* my second week, but 5 weeks later now? I forget that I even had surgery, and I feel great! The only problem is I have to remember to take it easy.

I haven't gotten the okay to have sex yet, but was told orgasm was okay, and to pay attention to my body if it is not reacting well to the spasms, but by 3 1/2 weeks, I was ready for sex. lol. I would have never guessed I would ever want sex again during week 2. BUT... I did not have penetration, but I did orgasm carefully by end of week 4. End of week 5, and I've had 5 orgasms in the last week and a half, so I can attest that it still feels good... great.

Pain from gas and bm was the worse part, and a stool softener like Colace (NOT laxatives) and FasX was my savior. I waited too long to do so, and the Vicodin did not help because that caused constipation, so I switched to double dose extra strength Tylenol, and alternated with Advil.

You will still be a woman. :-) You've come to the right place to quiet the noise in your head.
Unread 04-03-2012, 02:43 AM
Re: desperate...please help

Oh you poor thing, maybe you should stop reading the post-op nightmares. I had to. The glass in the vagina really made me worry too but there is nothing I can do about it at the moment other than try to rest and relax so as not to make anything worse. Focus on getting ready for resting and letting your body heal itself. It was made to repair itself. You must get your thoughts prepared for are not just one big uterus, you are a whole human being, a woman that will be healthy and do wonderful things very soon. For me, the pain of getting my bowels working again was a main concern. Keep your diet before surgery and after full of fiber and roughage. It will make a huge difference. You will be okay.
Unread 04-03-2012, 07:11 AM
Re: desperate...please help

You both freaked me out with the " glass in the vagina" statement. I had to look it up! Glad to find they were talking about a " drinking" glass. I was picturing the feeling of broken up shards of glass causing pain! lol I read that article on hystersisters. A tiny bit shorter on the post op vagina is nothing I'm worried about. Won't even be noticeable , ( hopefully). Our DH's would probably prefer it a little shorter ( will make them feel larger as they get older and their male parts shrink! lol)
Unread 04-06-2012, 03:14 AM
Re: desperate...please help

I agree not to look at the post op boards. It can freak you out. While you do need to be fully informed, the women on post op boards may be having problems. That is why we post there. There are always risks of surgery so try to not freak. There are a lot of women who do fantastic after surgery and will also post. Try to read those instead
Unread 04-15-2012, 05:00 PM
Re: desperate...please help

Thanks for the update. I had surgery the same day as you. Have you been posing updates on the post op recovery thread for our surgery week? I have found that thread very helpful fo watching the progress of everyone else that had surgery the same week as us. Kind of like to see that I'm normal.

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