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Unread 04-02-2012, 09:50 PM
No Fear

First let me say; I am still awaiting biopsy results and do not have a surgery date scheduled. That should all change tomorrow. I have read so many posts in here from so many women who are scared, fearful, etc. and I wish there was more I could do for them. I'm 42 yrs old with two teenage boys and an amazing husband who just had heart surgery in January. I've spent my entire life taking care of others, thus putting myself on the back burner. In the last two weeks since my doctor told me I needed surgery, I have come to realize I am surrounded by some pretty incredible women, many of whom I can go to with my "well what about this" questions. I've never really paid attention to the pain or my body telling me there was something wrong. I had to keep moving forward and moving on....if I didn't no one would pick up my slack. In as much as I know that this is a MAJOR surgery, I do not have any fear of it. My life lessons to this point have shown me that I CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING! I don't know where I'm rambling with this other than to say....many of us are WAY stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Instead of thinking in fear about whats ahead of you, just this once look at your past and think about how far you've come. Remember the strength you found in the situations you thought you'd never make it through. In as much as I do not claim a religion, I do claim a spiritual nature and experience has taught me that "this too shall pass". Consider where you are at with your health, what your currently experiencing (pain, fatigue, etc) all BEFORE surgery and trust the ladies here as well as the people who are rallied around you and believe them when they tell you "You can do this" because you can. And when you get on the other side of recovery, remember that you WILL be better. This is the "joy" I cling to...Doc says I will have a flatter belly (once I purge all the air they pump into me), someone will be pampering me for a while (I haven't allowed that in quite a while) and finally....NEVER EVER AGAIN WILL I HAVE ANOTHER PERIOD!!! Believe in yourselves ladies, look at the strength it took to get through all you've accomplished and think "If I can make it through THAT mess, I can get through anything"....because you can. Whoever said women were the WEAKER sex, didn't know what they were talking about.
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Unread 04-03-2012, 09:11 AM
Re: No Fear

Hi SwtPea,
Best wishes to you and please let me know when you get your date. Thanks for sharing your bravery! I wish I had read your post before my surgery. Sometimes surgery can be scary stuff even for those of us (like me), who are older and hopefully wiser! .
I found that when you have a lifetime of experience taking care of others, it can be VERY hard to relinquish that level of control long enough to give yourself the down time you will need to heal.
I think for me it was even harder to slow down with the amazing daVinci surgery.
I had a daVinci TVH almost 2 weeks ago, and I can tell you my greatest challenge has been to slow down, rest, (for real not just sitting down for a few mins), and NOT over do it.
Without that large external incision to slow you down, you will want to rule the world!
It's just too darn tempting not to spring into action because you feel so good! Here I was at home (used to working 10-12 hr days), so I wanted to clean, dust, shop, you name it. In fact I felt so good on day one and two that I walked all over shopping with hubby. Man did I pay for it for the next 5 days (pain and bleeding).
After a trip to the Dr. on day 3, I am now quite happy I did not damage anything, and have decided to be content as the "Queen of my own teacup!" (feet up).
As they say... You only have ONE chance to heal.
Best wishes to a brave lady and sending lots of to you!
Unread 04-03-2012, 11:40 AM
Re: No Fear

I had no fear either. I had been in pain for so long that i knew i needed it done and was happy to have it done.
that was my hyster...
Now for my latest surgery... gall bladder... I had no pain so did not feel a major need to have it done except my Doc said it was over loaded with stones... I was scared... I was nervous... I was unhappy...
I knew it needed to be done for my health but I was scared...

Coming from both sides of the "scaredy cat" fence I can see how fear can rule over your life when you over think things.

now what did I learn....
Going into surgery well prepared and ready with no fear I healed outlook was good so I healed good.
Going into surgery with fear (even causing a small fight with DH because I was scared right before surgery), I ended up healing very slowly. intact I would venture to say that I healed poorly due to my poor attitude.

I know it is hard to let fear go but if you find your peace before the surgery it may go a lot easier for you afterwards...
Just some thoughts...
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Unread 04-04-2012, 10:20 PM
Re: No Fear


My husband has already threatened to have bed straps waiting for me if I do not cooperate and get the rest I will need....I'm pretty sure he means it!

The hardest part of all of this is the waiting, still no biopsy results.

I'm a para-educator and I'm trying to schedule my surgery around important days with my students (Zoo trips and "graduation"). I don't want to miss anything with them, but I may have to. I keep thinking, if I can at least make it to Zoo day, I can put my happy behind in a wheelchair to sit through graduation so I don't miss anything. It's definately a juggling act right now thats for sure.
Unread 04-04-2012, 11:11 PM
Re: No Fear

Hey there SwtPea,
That is too funny about your husband's threat! He must know you very well...
I think my hubby gave up on me, he says I am the only person he knows who is more stubborn than he is, Ha! (said with love of course).
I do hope you hear something soon so you can set a plan. I agree, the waiting is the hardest part of all of this medical stuff. Waiting for results, and then waiting for the results of the results!
I know the timing will work out in your favor. I'm a firm believer in things happening at the right time...
Try to do something fun to take your mind off the waiting game. My hyst was rescheduled twice, hubby and I watched a lot of movies (comedies) while I waited... and waited! At least we had some much needed comic relief.
Take care and let me know how it goes...
Unread 04-06-2012, 07:54 PM
Re: No Fear


I got my test results back today! Everything is great and we can move forward with surgery. I am scheduled for April 23. I have to admit I cried for the first time about all of this but it was tears of relief. The nurse apologized for it taking so long and she certainly understood. Now I can keep moving forward with no fear. Sister reminded us today that laughter is the best medicine. We always have laughter in our lives even when we're mad at each other! I'm going to have to find some great pillows for recovery!!!
Unread 04-06-2012, 09:20 PM
Re: No Fear

Hey SwtPea,
That is very good news! I am so happy you have a date.
For me just having a date set, and knowing I had time to get ready, clean up the house, etc., made me feel better about everything.
Oh yes, good pillows are a must. I splurged and bought new ones. Set up your "nest" so you'll be all comfy cozy when you get home, nothing beats sliding into your own fresh cozy bed. I was so out of it when I came home. Hubby said all I kept saying was, "I'm SO happy to be home!" I think with all the surgery meds still in me, I slept 11 hours that first night... best sleep I'd had in a long time.
I'll check in with you before your date at the castle!
Take care!
Unread 04-07-2012, 12:23 PM
Re: No Fear

We splurged at tax time and got one of those memory foam mattress toppers....OMG its incredible! I hate hospital beds, I can never get comfortable. I'm on the short side so I always slide to the end of the bed when my heads elevated so I end up with a sore back!! I'll be ready for my own bed as well!! And I actually get to be in a castle...COOL...I've always wanted to visit a castle! We've already bought me a new bed buddy today. We found an Easter Eeyore while we out running around today!

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