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Don't know who to believe Don't know who to believe

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Unread 01-14-2002, 09:27 PM
Don't know who to believe

I have not yet had my surgery. nor did I read every post to your concerns. In reading your post it seems that you have many reasons to get the hyst and the only one stopping you is the worry about sex. I don't mean to minimize your concer, but if you could be free of the back aches, feeling of being nine months pregnant, restricted ability to enjoy walks etc, orgasm would be a small loss to gain back a greater quality of life. And that is IF the sex is effected. I would take my be able to take a long walk with a dear one is far more intmate than sex as life goes on.
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Unread 01-15-2002, 07:26 AM
Don't know who to believe


How bad was your prolapse? I have prolapse but am wondering how successful it is to just resupport it. Did you have anything else done at the same time?
Unread 01-15-2002, 03:43 PM
Don't know who to believe

robin(tobin 88)

My Dr. never gave me the details on how severe my prolapse was and I never asked. I only had the TVH and no other repairs done. I asked about a bladder repair and he didn't( and my nurse didn't from her previous experience) recommend it at my age. I had a little bit of stress incontinence, but having my uterus gone and not putting pressure on my bladder has helped and I also void with less difficulty. I had already had my tubes tied after my third child, so more children was not an issue for me either. The TVH was quite simple to go through, I highly reccomend it, but everyones needs are different. Just be sure to look into all of your options and decide if you'd be better off keeping it or getting rid of it. I'm not gonna miss mine at more periods for me. Sex is sure to get better there will be more oportunity!!!!!
Hope this helps!
Kaye Kaye

(Oh, to clarify why not the suspension at my age: I'd have to have one again later, because repair is temporary. I think with any repair it could just fix things temporarily, you might keep that in mind. With your uterus removed it would never be an issue of concern again.)
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Unread 01-15-2002, 07:29 PM
Don't know who to believe

Went to my second opinion today....I can't believe I even doubted my gyn...this guy was a quack. He didn't have a nurse, didn't change the paper sheet on the exam table. (I could see someone elses butt imprint in the paper, so I changed it myself) He used water to lubricate the speculum instead of jelly and for a brief moment I thought he wasn't going to put gloves on. I was glad to get out of there. Although he did confirm a 2nd degree prolapse with a urethrocele. He recommended I see a specialist in a city 100 miles away. I think I just need to see my own gyn and have a very detailed and frank discussion. This guy did raise the possibility of scar tissue due to c section and previous bladder surgery which could not be seen vaginally. I think I would rather have a little more pain from an abdom incision so the doc can see better. It can't be worse than the pain I had with the bladder surgery. Due to the fact that I have had a chronic bladder infection and have been taking antibiotics since Oct 01, I know I really need to do something. Is it normal to morn the loss of the uterus. I guess having had 4 kids, it was a big (literally, ha, ha) part of my life and maybe I won't feel like as much of a woman without it....I know that is not reasonable or sensible, but rather an emotional response. No one on this site seems to be in mourning, or once I make the determination to do it, that will go away.....anyone with any thoughts?
Unread 01-15-2002, 10:48 PM
Don't know who to believe

Mourning the loss of one's uterus (and/or the loss of the ability to bear children - not always the same thing) is very common. I see lots of posts about it. I think it is more common in mothers, and women who had been trying to have children, but couldn't.

I was glad to see mine go, with not a second thought, but then I *never* wanted kids, and the whole period thing was just a lot of unwanted trouble. But thank goodness we are all different, or we wouldn't have anything to talk about.

Try searching for the word "mourn" or "mourning", and I'll be you find all kinds of posts.

Best of luck in your decision!
Unread 01-16-2002, 06:51 AM

Well, I haven't had my surgery yet but I, too, am beginning to feel concern over how I am going to feel about myself as a woman when the surgery is over. It seems so crazy to have these concerns since I have five children and although I would have LOVED more but my health prevented it. I have had my tubes tied and an endometrial ablation (so no more kids even if a miracle occured) but still I wonder about not having my uterus. I guess, I too, am off in search of posts on this one. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your concerns.
Unread 01-16-2002, 04:26 PM
Don't know who to believe

Thank you so much for validating my feelings. Maybe when you have 4or 5 kids (or more) the uterus is very much a part of your life....It took me a long time after my 4th not to want more...hubby had a vasectomy, so it would have to be a miracle.
I just want to be sure I have explored all the options.
Unread 01-16-2002, 04:43 PM
Don't know who to believe

I think you should think about alternative options at this point. You do not sound like you are really okay with a hyst. I dont know if you are in pain or how much pain you are in but for me that was my reason. I was sick and tired of being in pain everyday and had gone through all the other possible treatments for my case. I would talk to your doc about your concerns and tel him/her how you really feel about it.
Unread 01-16-2002, 05:10 PM
Don't know who to believe


The "quack" you saw may have hit on something. I had adhesions from my c-sections that caused HORRIBLE back & hip pain. I had a laproscopic procedure done 5 years ago to remove them and it worked!!!! I also had a prolapsed uterus and the back pain was gone after this surgery. (Kept the uterus during the past 5 years and prolapse was not the reason for my hyst.)

I too missed my uterus and wondered if my dh felt I was less of a woman. I asked him & he said, "no, you're still the same person with the same heart & soul". After really thinking about it, I realized that the uterus is not the only thing that made me a woman...more importantly are my roles in life as wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, etc. and the feminine ways I think, feel, and act. No man I've ever met has all this. I now feel that my uterus was something God put in my body for carrying babies and now that I'm finished with it, I don't need it anymore, especially since it was causing so much pain & bleeding.

Since your uterus is still healthy and you aren't sure if you want to have a hyst at this point, you may want to talk with your gyn about having a laproscopic procedure done to see if you have adhesions that can be removed and resolve your problem, at least for now.

Good luck in whatever you decide. Keep us posted.

Unread 01-16-2002, 11:28 PM
Don't know who to believe

talbrig, I go in tomorrow. I am suddenly having a LOT of worries. I have had 6 kids. I am feeling like my uterus, next to my brain, has had the biggest influence on my life. I'm kind of weirded out. I know it will pass, though.

The other day I asked my husband if he would think less of me without a uterus, and he looked at me, kissed his finger tips and touched my breastbone where my heart is and said, "This is the most important part of you, to me." Which was really sweet, if somewhat inaccurate.

But this feeling of panic I'm having isn't about how he'll feel about me - I know he'll still love and desire me. The feeling is about ME. And even though I would never think of a woman who has had a hysterectomy as less of a woman, I wonder if I'll feel that way about ME.

But I'm holding fast to the positive things I've heard the women on this board say - that they felt more energetic, healthier and happier afterwards, and I feel somewhat better. I think it's natural to wonder and worry about these things.

If I were you, though, I'd look into what all of your alternatives are, and go from there. Hugs from me, and hope that you find just exactly the right solution for you.

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