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I have to rant... I have to rant...

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  #1  
Unread 04-10-2012, 10:57 AM
I have to rant...

Okay ladies... I seriously need to vent and rant and yell to a group of people who will get it. I am so frustrated and angry and hurt... I just don't understand what to do.

First off, my doctor (who I adore by the way... with everything except this) released me to go back to work after two weeks. Actually, he would have released me after one, but I asked if I could have the second and he said that was fine. So, I have been back to work since April 2. I work at a University, doing a desk job. I am in a chair, sitting, for 8 hours a day. This is my second week back and my help is on vacation. So, I am here by myself, not able to rally take a break or much of a lunch or anything. I am so fatigued that I can hardly concentrate. I still have some internal pain when I move to fast or to much or wrong in any way. Sunday was the worst. I am just so frustrated because I know that an LSH is a lower key procedure, but I feel like the doctor wanted me to push to hard to soon. I did not feel like I was ready to come back to work, but since before my surgery he told me it would be such a short recovery, I only asked for a short amount of time off. I feel like because I went back before my body wanted me to, getting to 100% is going to take forever.

Also, this hormone thing is unbelievable. I am a mess all the time. ALL THE TIME. He left one ovary, but I know it must be asleep or out of wack or something because all I do is cry or laugh or sleep. My skin is so itchy and ugly and I feel like a crazy women. My belly is still so swollen that I can't wear certain clothes. I am mourning the loss of my uterus for some reason. I was done with it. It was hurting me. I never expected to miss it, but I do. I am only 31. I feel like my body failed me. My mom doesn't understand, my friends don't understand. DH doesn't understand. Even my therapist cant see why I miss it. Sometimes I feel like all the effort from this recovery is hindering the joy I should be feeling from having the dang surgery and getting rid of the pain.

And then there is the DH issue. UUgghhh.... what a mess. I was so concerned going into this because he has Multiple Sclerosis, so I knew that he would be limited on what he would be able to help with. But, at the beginning, he was AMAZING! He did the dishes, helped with the kid, helped me when I needed something, washed my hair. You name it. He was so mad about me going back to work and my supervisor going on vacation after the fact that I though he was going to go down to my office and give my boss a piece of his mind. But then 3 days ago happened. He got a bit of a cold. The man can handle a chronic illness like a tiger but this cold has made him forget that I am so fatigued after an 8 hour work day with no breaks that cooking dinner, taking out the trash, going to the grocery store... these things take effort. All I want to do is sleep. By 6 at night if I have to cook dinner I just wont eat at this point. DS can make a sandwich, why cant DH?

Jeesh. I know I sound like such a whiner. I am sorry that you guys are getting the brunt of this. I feel like with an LSH I should have just been able to jump up and get back to life right away. That didn't happen. And, not only did that not happen but it is 3 weeks later and I feel worse. Please tell me if I am being wimpy! I have done a bit of walking outside, visited family, seen friends (all in moderation). I don't feel depressed. I feel like a hormonal mess.
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  #2  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:07 AM
Re: I have to rant...

Sweetie, I think you may be doing too much. With going back to work at 3 weeks, you should still be taking it as easy as possible. Not lifting or pulling and going home and putting up your feet at the end of the day. Even at lunch break, you should be finding a place to rest.

And idea for dinners would be picking up something frozen and will your husband eat canned soup? Chicken noodle would be good for a cold
I know homemade is more nutritious, but sometimes you gotta do what your gotta do. Some fresh fruit and juice would be good, too. And how about a freshly roasted chicken from the market? I know that the Wal-marts around here carry them. You could pick it up on the way home and just fix a veggie to go with it. They even have salads in the deli.

Just take the time and pamper yourself when you can. When you get home light a candle, fix an easy meal, take a warm shower, get into your pajamas and try to relax. Hope you feel better soon!! Hugs to you!!
  #3  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:14 AM
Re: I have to rant...

SouthernBella.... Thank you so much for the reply. I read it and teared up (**** hormones) because I feel inside like I am doing to much, but when the world (doctor included) is telling me otherwise... well it is hard to believe. I am sitting here (at work, because technically this is my break time) with my abdomen hurting because office chairs are so uncomfortable. I just want to be at home in my recliner. I see the doctor again next week, and I may ask him if he will "tell me" to take another week to rest. I have the sick time. Maybe if he notes that my recovery is going slowly, I could have a bit more time (though I have already come back). I don't know...

Thank you for validating my feelings!! That is why I love this place.
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  #4  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:27 AM
Re: I have to rant...

Yup, definately doing too much. Your quote is the advice you need to take!!! Your Dr is a freaking nut for releasing you so soon. I dont understand why in the world he would do that. Sorry about your husband, i hope he is feeling better. Men can be such babies when they are sick!
  #5  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:28 AM
Re: I have to rant...

Awww, don't cry. Maybe you should call your doctor and let him know what is going on. He needs to know that you are hurting. He does not know if you don't tell him. Just some advice, because I am the world's worst of not telling the doctor how much pain I am really experiencing.

I am just getting over a bacterial infection around my vaginal cuff (discovered at 4 weeks post-op) and when I was not getting better by this past Thursday, I was told I was doing too much and needed to rest more. I have tried, but it has been so hard; especially with the Easter weekend. But I realized last night when I started hurting, that I had been over doing it again. So today I am trying to just take it easy.

Glad I can be here for you!!
  #6  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:29 AM
Re: I have to rant...

You dont need your Dr to tell you that you need more time. YOU know you need more time and that is all that matters, only you know how your body is feeling
  #7  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:36 AM
Re: I have to rant...

First off, I would call your doctor today and get more time off work. If you are sore and tired and sick you are obviously not meant to be back yet! I would really not wait until your next appt.

Second, get a new therapist.

Next, when you get home today, tell your husband you just can't manage yet. Tell him you're sorry that he's sick but you are going to bed until your body gets used to the fact that it's had an entire ORGAN removed and you need him more than ever right now. And then go to bed and hold up your end of the promise.

You are not weak, you just had major surgery and even though your dr sounds like a bit of an arse, you must advocate for your own well-being. Only YOU know what your body is telling you. Take care!
xoxo
  #8  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:42 AM
Re: I have to rant...

You are not being wimpy or whining! What you are feeling is valid and I can understand and relate!
You are likely doing way too much, yes your outside heals faster than some of the others, but inside the damage is the same and needs time to heal properly.
Take it easy & vent all you need to, we understand!
Hugs!
  #9  
Unread 04-10-2012, 11:46 AM
I have to rant...

Well said! I agree!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishFD View Post
First off, I would call your doctor today and get more time off work. If you are sore and tired and sick you are obviously not meant to be back yet! I would really not wait until your next appt.

Second, get a new therapist.

Next, when you get home today, tell your husband you just can't manage yet. Tell him you're sorry that he's sick but you are going to bed until your body gets used to the fact that it's had an entire ORGAN removed and you need him more than ever right now. And then go to bed and hold up your end of the promise.

You are not weak, you just had major surgery and even though your dr sounds like a bit of an arse, you must advocate for your own well-being. Only YOU know what your body is telling you. Take care!
xoxo
  #10  
Unread 04-10-2012, 12:18 PM
Re: I have to rant...

Thank you all so, so much. I am going to call the doctor today, and see what he can do to help me. I never expected to feel so much worse after this long. You all are right though. I am doing to much to soon. I know if someone else wrote what I did and I read it, I would tell them everything you are telling me. I am so critical of myself and hard on myself. You are all correct, maybe the outside heals faster, but the inside is just as sensitive as someone who had a different procedure.

Thank you ladies.
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