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Crying about every little thing and feeling scared.... Crying about every little thing and feeling scared....

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Unread 01-10-2002, 08:52 AM
Crying about every little thing and feeling scared....

Hi all.... I was wondering if it's normal to be so weepy, when I haven't even had my surgery yet.. I know I'm not going through the "uterus seperation" thing. I don't feel that my uterus is the source of my womanhood and I have 2 wonderful daughters( 9 and 5)and don't want anymore children. But, I find that any little thing(even happy things)brings on a rush of emotions and the tears start rolling. I must admit(and I hope that no-one here will be upset at me for bringing this up)that after reading some of the "post-op" stories, I have become petrified of what I might go through after my surgery. Weight gain, hair loss, going into menopause if my ovaries shut down and going through hell to find the right hormonal balance, never being able to get rid of the swelly belly and still feeling like I'm in the first week of healing after that 6 mos. to 1 year mark. These are just some of the things I have read about. Some of you are really going through a tough time of it post-op, and I really and truly feel for you!!! I saw one post where a lady said that having her hyst. was the biggest mistake she ever made. I have a positive attitude about having the surgery and look forward to getting some energy back, not being in pain, not having to plan my life around my period anymore and hopefully getting some relief from this *pressure-like* pain when I go to the bathroom.... I know the positives of having the hyst. and it's the right decision for me. I wish I could get a guarantee that I will soon be the active and fun loving person I used to be and be able to rave about how well the surgery and recovery went.... My head is so jampacked with information, good and bad. Is there such a thing as being *too* informed? Did any of you go through all of this before your surgery? Did you find that you worried about all of these things for nothing? Sorry to ramble on......
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Unread 01-10-2002, 09:03 AM
Crying about every little thing and feeling scared....

I'm going through the exact same thing. In fact, I just posted about it too

I stopped reading the post-op board. It freaked me out. I'm sure I'm missing out on good info and will be less informed of what to expect, but I'm stressed out enough without worrying about things that may not happen to me. I'm sure I'll read it constantly after the surgery, but for right now ignorance is bliss (well, not *bliss* exactly but at least not fear).

I think a lot of my stress is coming from me not being able to have kids (I want them) and being unmarried - I know it's silly but I'm afraid no one will want to marry me, and by having the hysterectomy I'm basically sealing my fate of being alone for the rest of my life.

I wish this was over with. Boy, they aren't kidding about the waiting being the hardest part!!

I'm there with you in spirit Julie!!

Unread 01-10-2002, 09:03 AM

Hi Julie, I can't make you feel any better :confuse: because I'm as confused as you are. Actually, your post could've been mine!

I'm set for surgery on 1/21. I too hope to keep my ovaries, losing the uterus and cervix, and while I have no desire for more children (have 4 aged 7-19) and also agree it's not linked to my being a woman or feminine, the information overload is too much sometimes. I'm drawn to this forum and have found it incredibly useful, but I can't sleep at night thinking about these ladies and some of the horrific times they are having.

Our symptoms are the same and while I'm eager to go and "get it over with" I'm becoming more and more terrifed at the prospect of being in healing for soooo long, and found my emotions are like a roller coaster (and I've been off the hormones for several months :-)

While I can't alleviate any of your fears, I wanted you to know I feel exactly the same way.

Feel free to email me [email protected], or IM me anytime, or join the chat forum, great bunch of ladies there. Whether to inquire, inform, cry or just to vent, I'm here.

Your Sister
Barbara (ByGrace)
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Unread 01-10-2002, 09:26 AM
Me too

I am going through the exact same thing. I also wonder if there is such a thing as being too informed? My surgery is scheduled for Feb. 1 and I am really glad I found this website because it has helped me to prepare. I did check out the post-op board the other day and I agree it is scary. I do think there are a lot of positive stories too, though.

I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. I go to sleep fine, but I wake up around 1 am and start to worry. I worry about the pain, I worry about how I will handle the recovery, I worry about the swelly belly thing. Will I ever be myself again? Will I look different? I am 51 and consider myself to be young for my age and in pretty good health. But will this start the aging process? Will I grow facial hair and forget where I put my purse?

I am single (divorced), live alone and when I wake up at night I have no one to vent to, so that makes it harder. I find myself wondering if I am making a horrible mistake, even though my doctor has recommended it and I KNOW it is what I need to do.

I am really glad there are others going through this same thing. Most people who have not gone through this and just don't understand, think I am overreacting.

I will be very glad when this is behind me. I think.
Unread 01-10-2002, 09:27 AM

Please read my post that I placed on Heidi's post!! As for being alone...I have a DBF(I'm divorced) and while I do have kids he wanted some of his "own". I thought for sure he was going to bail on me.. guess what? I was wrong! He embraced what he has now v.s. what may have happened in the future. If the time ever comes we can adopt. So please remeber that there are good men out there that don't view this in that way!!! Also, I cried before the surgery after and who knows maybe during!! It is all very normal. This is a major surgery with a lot of impact on you. But they do not perform these unless it is absolutley imperative!! This is your health that is at stake and your lives are more precious than anything else. Please remember there are a lot of us here to help you try the chat room. a great place to have questions answered in "real time". Hange in there sisters, you will all do well.
Unread 01-10-2002, 09:40 AM
A round of hugs on me!!!

While I would never wish these feelings on anyone, I am SO glad to not be alone in this! I'm bawling like a baby right now at the relief of knowing I'm not crazy and there are others out there with the same obsessive thoughts and fears about this whole thing.

Heidi, I am SO sorry about you not being able to have children. I think I sometimes take it for granted that I have kids while others can't. I can't even imagine how that must feel for you! Please don't think this is the end for relationships. There is someone special and perfect out there for you! Someone who will love you unconditionally and forever! You'll find him. It's just a matter of timing. BIG s for you!!!!! For now, I'm staying off of the post-op board, too. "ignorance is bliss", that is SO true right now... Lots of love to you!

Big s to you, too! Information overload perfectly describes how I feel and yet, like you, I am addicted to this site! Some things that I read are just too discouraging at times and I find myslef in a panic. I am pretty restless at night, too and have been taking one antihistamine about an hour before I go to bed just so I don't stare at the ceiling and fret over all of this all nite. I sometimes wish my surgery was sooner so I can start healing already.

I hope all of us will report a positive experience after our hysts.

s and

Thanks SO much for sharing. There is strength in numbers, right? We can help eachother get through this......
Unread 01-10-2002, 10:04 AM
I understand

I understand how you feel. I just found out Mon. that I would be having a hyst. on Jan. 30. Ever since then I have been forgetful, irritable, and negative about everything. I'm not usually this way. I agree that there is a lot of info. to digest and the worry about how your life will be post-op. I haven't read any of the post-op message boards, but I know from having children, that everyones recovery will be different. Just know that certain things could happen and be glad if they don't!

We will all hang in there together! Take care!
Unread 01-10-2002, 10:06 AM

You wrote my story! I go to sleep and wake up crying, go to the bathroom and cry, cry in my car and for no real reasons. I am so thankful for this site as I have become SO educated but maybe it's too much information sometimes. I do get depressed reading some of the stories, and then others are so upbeat and encouraging. And yet it's addicting and I'm afraid I will miss something if I don't log on.
My date is 2/6, TAH BSO, vertical incision. I'm doing stomach crunches like crazy, why? I don't know but I am upset about what I will look like afterwards. Will any of my clothes fit when I return to work? Probably not. Then what? Cry some more? I'm overweight anyway and now it will be worse and forever I fear!
Thanks for listening!
Unread 01-10-2002, 10:12 AM

Hi, to all you LIW! Hugs to all of you! Yes, it may be best to wait until after your hyst to check out the post op board. There will be a few sisters who have complications, but the majority of us came through smoothly with very few problems. It's normal to be scared and emotional thinking about going through such a major event, but I think you'll be so glad you had your hyst after it's over and you're well into recovery. If you have to have HRT, there may be an adjustment period when your hormones are "out of whack", but if you let others take care of you while you heal, you'll feel better soon. I feel great 6 1/2 months post op, and actually feel even more feminine being on HRT since my ovaries were shutting down and hardly giving me any estrogen! You will still be attractive to men! So, take some deep breaths and try to think positive thoughts. I'm sure you will all do fine and be healthier afterwards. On the day of surgery, tell your dr if you need meds to calm you before you get to the operating room. Waiting for your castle day really is about the hardest part of having a hyst! Take care, and best wishes
Unread 01-10-2002, 10:28 AM
Crying about every little thing and feeling scared....

debbiealexa and all of us LIW...

I SO know what you mean! This truly must be the hardest part. This wating is killing me, as everyday I find myself thinking of all the things that could go wrong. We will have to try and concentrate on what a positive *tradeoff* this could be.

s to you and all the ladies going through this perplexing and scary time!

Sometimes I feel that the crying is a big release. Maybe it's our body's way of *letting go* after so much worrying.

They say that fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all.....

I know we can get through this together!

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