TVH Pain with Intercourse!! - Page 2 | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

Pain with Intercourse!! Pain with Intercourse!!

Thread Tools
  #11  
Unread 04-21-2012, 02:00 PM
Re: Pain with Intercourse!!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Hopeful View Post
I remember it taking about two years! before sex didn't hurt at all after my episiotomy 21 years ago.

My doctor's Physician's Assistant saw me at my last appointment and I asked her about sex. Coincidentally, she'd had the exact same surgery as I had just four months ago. She said that sex did hurt a lot the first "several" times, but started to get better around the 8th time!!!

I haven't had sex yet (I'm only 3 weeks out), but my husband and I already have a plan for me to be on top at first so I can control speed and depth of penetration and use lots of lube. We're trying to keep our expectations low, but I know that will be harder for him.

I am afraid of the pain of sex. Our sex life was terrific prior to surgery and losing that was/is one of my greatest fears.

But I'm trying to remind myself that sex wasn't that great when I first started having it as a virgin. It took time to teach those tissues to respond correctly. Just like I've had to relearn pooing and peeing, I'll be relearning sex all over again.

Do you think, then, that having sex will actually help more than waiting it out? Did your doctor or friend tell you that it's a matter of accommodating "things" in the newly crafted space?

I was on top and went very slow, lots of lube. And when it was finally all in, I thought, I'll have a seat (a little rest on top). That's when the really sharp pain happened.

I do not think it is a good idea to have painful sex... unless it will actually lead to enjoyable sex later on.

Trying to decide whether to try again or wait for the pain to subside more. It does seem like common sense to keep from putting anything inside something that already hurts.

I know it may be individualized. But I'm eager to hear how things progress for each of you.

On weight gain -- lost about 10 pounds the first couple weeks. Probably because I was sleeping so much. Then it returned as my more normal life resumed.

I begged off my son's birthday plans to go to a baseball game (30 minute drive each way, and some number of hours sitting in the stands). He's old enough not to care, and what a luxury to have the time to relax on my own.

Healing wishes to you all!

"Post-prolapse"
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #12  
Unread 04-21-2012, 02:54 PM
Re: Pain with Intercourse!!

I am not a doctor and I'm definitely not your doctor so I can't tell you for certain, but I do think that this is one of those "use it or lose it" sorts of situations.

My understanding is that after the healing is done that the tissues need stretching and use in order to return to their normal function. Scar tissue tends to be tough and fibrous and not very stretchy and is unlikely to become more so with disuse.

I have a very good friend who is my exact age, but who hasn't had sex in a very long time. Her physician told her at her last appointment that she had the vagina of a 70-yo from lack of use.

I have heard that the vaginal cuff can be very tender and take a long time to heal. Maybe shallower penetration is in order (although I realize that in the heat of the moment this might be difficult for an aroused husband).

I also talked to my physical therapist about this before my surgery and she said that some women need PT with vaginal dilators to help restore vaginal elasticity after the sort of surgery I've had. I know that I have three incisions in my vagina: at the top, at the bottom, and at the end where my uterus used to reside. I'm pretty nervous.

At least after my episiotomy there were areas that could take pressure. I'm afraid I have no such areas this time.

Good luck! I'll be looking for your updates and hoping it gets better for you.
  #13  
Unread 04-22-2012, 06:04 AM
Re: Pain with Intercourse!!

So glad to have found this thread! I had TVH and cyctocele/rectocele in December. Most ladies on my surgery week thread were TAH and didn't have the ongoing constipation issues. I still take tablets most days and lots of bran and vegetables. I had stitches rather than mesh so lots of healing needed to happen.

I only recently returned to sex as it was still tender. Doesnt hurt but I was not expecting the difference with no cervix. It will take some adjusting. I guess having this added surgery affects us a little more and may take a little longer than merely getting a clearance from our doctors to get back to feeling relaxed enough.

I have heard the bowel can take 6 months to get back to normal but really appreciate days when I can just go!!

Apart from this I'm feeling so much better and back to exercise. I have lost about 12 pounds since the surgery and love not having that prolapse feeling anymore.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #14  
Unread 04-22-2012, 07:25 AM
Re: Pain with Intercourse!!

Well....

I went ahead and tried again and had a very different response. This time I used TONS of lube and tried another angle (with less deep penetration). I told my man that this is an exercise to prepare us, so we moved very slowly and I squeezed my muscles in the spirit of strengthening. I can report that I did not experience pain. With so much lube, neither of us felt that much either .... but it was a start! Better neutral than painful! And of course the closeness felt so nice. My plan is to try some version of this every night until it starts to feel good.

After your "use it or lose it advice" I spoke to an ob/gyn friend who confirmed that and suggested making a frozen "wand" to insert afterwards to reduce any pain. I made one -- it was fairly hilarious -- hand soap in a condom, tied at end. Then frozen. The idea is that you can insert it and leave it for a while, and then wash and reuse. (keep in the condom and make sure it's in freezer to keep its shape).

I was prepared to use it, but felt good enough not to need it. Perhaps as we resume more rigorous sex I may need it.

(It did help knowing that it was there in case.)

Wishing you each a good "re-entry."

"Post-prolapse"
  #15  
Unread 04-22-2012, 01:43 PM
Re: Pain with Intercourse!!

  Quote:
Originally Posted by postprolapse View Post
Well....

I went ahead and tried again and had a very different response. This time I used TONS of lube and tried another angle (with less deep penetration). I told my man that this is an exercise to prepare us, so we moved very slowly and I squeezed my muscles in the spirit of strengthening. I can report that I did not experience pain. With so much lube, neither of us felt that much either .... but it was a start! Better neutral than painful! And of course the closeness felt so nice. My plan is to try some version of this every night until it starts to feel good.

After your "use it or lose it advice" I spoke to an ob/gyn friend who confirmed that and suggested making a frozen "wand" to insert afterwards to reduce any pain. I made one -- it was fairly hilarious -- hand soap in a condom, tied at end. Then frozen. The idea is that you can insert it and leave it for a while, and then wash and reuse. (keep in the condom and make sure it's in freezer to keep its shape).

I was prepared to use it, but felt good enough not to need it. Perhaps as we resume more rigorous sex I may need it.

(It did help knowing that it was there in case.)

Wishing you each a good "re-entry."

"Post-prolapse"
Your post made me laugh. I'm so glad you had a good experience. I will take your advice now and quadruple the amount of lube I was planning to use.

Ummm, I can't wait to make my own frozen popsicle. It sounds like something that would make us laugh if nothing else.

I'm glad you tried again and it was more successful. And I really appreciate you putting it out there to help me and others out here who've had more extensive vaginal surgeries re-enter our sex lives.
  #16  
Unread 04-22-2012, 02:11 PM
Re: Pain with Intercourse!!

Once we can learn to laugh at ourselves & relax, sex will be so much more enjoyable!! My hubby & U consider it practice. Thanks for the "Popsicle" idea!! who would have thought the highlights of our days would be pooping & penetration. Lol.
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
2 Replies, Last Reply 02-07-2011, Started By 33living
2 Replies, Last Reply 01-23-2011, Started By obie53
7 Replies, Last Reply 08-13-2010, Started By obie53
4 Replies, Last Reply 05-05-2010, Started By Jstor
1 Reply, Last Reply 12-11-2008, Started By angel9695
5 Replies, Last Reply 11-14-2007, Started By Onyx - K
3 Replies, Last Reply 09-24-2007, Started By ALLBEADZ
4 Replies, Last Reply 09-05-2006, Started By Magnat68
1 Reply, Last Reply 01-25-2006, Started By freestar
2 Replies, Last Reply 05-18-2005, Started By marylink
1 Reply, Last Reply 05-02-2005, Started By Malie
3 Replies, Last Reply 07-26-2004, Started By debbiet
1 Reply, Last Reply 07-21-2004, Started By Cowazie
1 Reply, Last Reply 11-05-2003, Started By texansfan
5 Replies, Last Reply 12-08-2001, Started By LSalzman
0 Reply, Sexual Dysfunction After Hysterectomy
2 Replies, Pelvic Floor and Bladder Issues
8 Replies, Sexual Dysfunction After Hysterectomy
9 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy)
5 Replies, The Road Less Traveled



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

June 14,2021

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement