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real close to backing out real close to backing out

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Unread 04-25-2012, 07:44 AM
real close to backing out

I am scheduled 5/23 for a TAH. The fear I have is unbearable. I am picturing myself laying flat of my back for days if not weeks crying in pain, unable to move unassisted...I am picturing the worse. I have never had any type of surgery. ANd I am not a whimp when it comes to pain, I had 4 natural childbirths with no pain meds....but this has me totally engulfed in fear. I can't sleep , cant work, I have made myself physically sick just due to the stress. Yesterday I decided to cancel, and it was the first relief I had felt in a week. But I know I shouldnt, so I am back tothe crossroads again. I always get nauseus from the anesthetic, so what if I wake from surgery deathly sick and throwing up, that cant feel good with a huge incision. The anti nausea meds dont work for me. And what if the pain killers dont work, the what ifs go on forever. I cant stand being out of control, and I know after I walk thru those hospital doors, I am at their mercy. I no longer have control of what happens. Do I sound like a fool or does anyone else feel this way??
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Unread 04-25-2012, 08:13 AM
Re: real close to backing out

No, you do not sound like a fool, just uncertain still. You may want to talk to your doctor more until your'e comfortable. This is your decision; it's a personal one that no one can make for you. I am 3 months post op. It was the right decision for me and I knew it. I was nervous before surgery too, but I trusted that I would be a better person for me and my family without all the misery from painful periods I have a better quality of life now and it was totally worth it. But you should not go through with anything until you feel comfortable that it's right for you. You are in control and it's your choice.
Good luck and we are here for you!
Unread 04-25-2012, 08:14 AM
Re: real close to backing out

Sweetie, you are not a fool. It is very normal to be scared. This is a big deal!!! I don't think there is a women out there that has gone through this surgery that wasn't scared at some point.

I was also very worried about post-op pain, but for me it really wasn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, it hurt, but my pain was very well managed with the pain meds I was given. It also helped me to know that the pain I was feeling was temporary and it was nothing like the pain I had been experiencing for years, day in, day out.

I understand your fear of nausea. Have you ever tried the patch behind the ear? My doctor gave that to me because I have a very sensitive tummy and I wasn't nauseous at all. I know everyone is different, but that was my experience. I would never have surgery without that little patch!

Please, try not to stress yourself out about this. If you truly aren't ready to go through with this, maybe it is a good idea for you to reschedule. Like I said, it is a big deal and you should be 100% sure about it.

I know it is very hard for any women to feel like they are not in control, but you are still in control. This is your body and your health and you get to make the decision on what is best for you. If your pain meds don't work, tell your doctor. There are so many different types out there, I'm sure they will be able to find something that will work for you. They will want to stay ahead of your pain.

Take a deep breath sweetie. There are success stories out there. I am one and I know there are many others. Try not to let fear "take the wheel and steer". You are in driver's seat....and you have all of us as your passengers to help you get through this!!

to you!!
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Unread 04-25-2012, 08:18 AM
Re: real close to backing out

Perhaps you need to get another opinion from another doctor? I was told that if I chose hyster that it would be abdominal....i kept looking for options & doctors. Found one that has the experience to NOT have to do it abdominal....but now for different reasons. Good luck with your search & hope you find peace in whatever decision you make.
Unread 04-25-2012, 08:22 AM
Re: real close to backing out

I have been told I dont have another option. I have fibroids, and I have become severely anemic, requiring blood transfusions. I will need another transfusion before surgery. I don't have any pain!! I wish I did, I think it would make surgery that much easier. My periods use to be super heavy, but now since my blood is so low again, my periods are almost non existant. Besides the low blood, I actually feel good. I probably dont feel good, but this has become my I dont even know what good feels like. But the Dr has told me if I dont do this now, I have a fibroid that is very close to my bowel and it may fuse to it, causing a lot of problems. So I really feel I have been given no other options. I really really wish I was in horrific pain right now...then I would be welcoming surgery. But it is really hard to go from feeling good, to placingyourself in a position where you are getting major surgery.
Unread 04-25-2012, 08:24 AM
Re: real close to backing out

I have talked to other Dr's and due to the size of my uterus from the fibroids, they say that TAH is the only way to go. My uterus is measuring out 15 weeks prego
Unread 04-25-2012, 09:01 AM
Re: real close to backing out

I uderstand how you feel!! I am scheduled for surgery April 30th
and yesterday was my pre-op, I am really getting nervous...I keep thinking how maybe I should cancel and reschedule and maybe my fibroids will shrink on there own, but I have done that and they just keep growing...I am in no pain!!! I have put this surgery off for 2 years b/c I just could not justify it when I was not having any pain...My cycles are long but they always have been so Im used to it, my doctor thinks Im crazy to be used to that when most women would complain, but I was fine with it..My reasons for going through with it now are b/c I am starting to pee every 5 minutes, I am looking like a pregnant women, and Im having shortness of breath..So for me I think its time!!! My shortness of breath was my deciding factor, my uterus is above the bellybutton and its really uncomfortable...As much as I would like to not have the surgery I have made peace with my decision to have it....Good luck to you and with whatever you decide!!! It will be ok...
Unread 04-25-2012, 09:17 AM
Re: real close to backing out

I had to have a blood transfusion as well, because my blood count was so low. That was a major factor in my decision...It had become normal for me to feel light-head over the simplest exertion. I was tired all the time and my family had gotten used to it...I'm sure my husband thought I was lazy. We didn't know about the fibroids back then. My doctor said my blood was so low that if it continued to drop I could go into a coma, have a heart attack or something. That scared me more than the fear of having the surgery I didn't want that to be my normal. I made the decision alone and I feel so much better. I have a new normal and it feels great.
you are surrounded by women on this site who survived and came through. Trust that this is going to be your survival story as well. Make the choice that gives you the best quality of life and trust that!
Unread 04-25-2012, 11:37 AM
Re: real close to backing out

I have fibroids too and my doc/surgeon had me get an MRI and see another doctor about Fibroid Embolization. Has this option been given to you?
Unread 04-25-2012, 12:07 PM
Re: real close to backing out

You will be okay! I too have anesthesia problems. I think I threw up five times that first night. But remember, you haven't eaten anything for 12 hours before the surgery. And afterwards, you are only drinking water until you feel up to eating. Each time i threw up, it was quick and it was liquid and I didn't feel any pain on my incision. And by the time I started eating, I wasn't nauseous anymore. Had I been throwing up like you do when you have the flu? Yes, it would've hurt! But it wasn't that bad. You'll be slightly cranky for the first 24 hours while you adjust to everything that has happened to you. But you will be okay. Trust your doctors and ask for help when you need it. You won't be able to lie there in pain because they won't let you! You can do it! I did it! And now I'm just waiting for summer so I can start wearing all those white pants I bought!!!


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