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Petrified and about to crack... Petrified and about to crack...

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  #1  
Unread 04-27-2012, 09:23 AM
Petrified and about to crack...

Hello HysterSisters! Thank you for this site and all who participate. I am a very private person and have kept this from my family with the exception of my incredible man (of course), best friend and the boss. My best friend went through a TAH many years ago so I've gotten a lot of good information from her. I've requested that no one at work know besides my boss.

I have been an absolute basket case since Monday when my Dr. told me there was no other choice. I'm probably somewhat shocked as this all came about within the past couple of months. I cry uncontrollably and I'm typically a very stable person. She called in some Xanax for me. I'm terrified about the surgery and every detail involved, especially the unknown. I've read everything I can get my hands on but it's not enough. I've never been in the hospital or had anything done.

The few people I've confided in are amazing and incredibly supportive but I think I'm at that point where no one can say anything right. Everyone wants to focus on how great things will be and how happy I will be for the problems to be gone and assure me there's nothing to worry about. Sure, that's all true but right now it makes me feel so incredibly alone. I have to get through the surgery first. Complications of the surgery include damage to other organs and of course they throw in that whole death thing. I realize that is rare but when someone says "it will all be fine" and "nothing to worry about" it actually makes me feel my fears are unwarranted and they don't take this seriously. I want to tell them they are not the one being cut open but I keep my mouth shut. I had to tell my man nicely this morning to please stop the cheer leading. It's making me more emotional and upset. By the way, the Xanax is NOT helping. Any other suggestions?

Anyway, it's very helpful to be able to read the thoughts and experiences of others in my situation and know that I'm not alone. My pre-op appt is next Thursday and I'm starting a list of questions. Does there happen to be a list of questions on the site or something someone has shared that I could review in case I'm forgetting to ask something very important? This probably sounds crazy but has anyone written a diary of their experience? I've read overviews until I can recite them but the small details are also very important to me. I'm easily embarrassed and have so many concerns about my privacy and dignity and just feel this thing is so out of my control. I have trust issues and I really can't stand this situation.

Sorry to ramble on but this does help just to vent. I appreciate all the posts on this forum. Thanks for listening and for telling it like it is!
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  #2  
Unread 04-27-2012, 12:51 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

Sorry the xanax isn't helping. I only have a minute right now but I didn't want to read and run.

For your list of questions to ask the doctor: go to the "Hysterectomy Checkpoints" area of this website and you will find a list under pre-op checkpoints. The Checkpoints area is found in the blue bar running across the top of the page but under the tabs.

  #3  
Unread 04-27-2012, 01:09 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

Here is the link for the checkpoints dancingpopcorn mentioned. https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/view_preop.htm#
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  #4  
Unread 04-27-2012, 02:28 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

It's natural for you to be nervous. It is, after all major surgery. I was looking forward to having my LAVH, because I was feeling so wrotten all the time, but I was also a litte nervous. My surgery went very well with no complications, and I am now feeling better than I have felt for a long time, and I'm only 2 weeks post op. I had both ovaries removed, along with my tubes and cervix. My favorite part of the whole hospital stay (which was only 1 night), was the compression boots. They put them on my lower legs and they inflated and deflated to keep blood clots from forming from laying still for a long period of time. Some women hate them, but I thought it felt like my legs were being massaged the whole time I was at the hospital. I was sorry to see the nurses take them off. The catheter was uncomfortable, and it made me feel like I had to urinate all the time, but I got used to it. The packing in my vagina was also a little uncomfortable, but they took it the next morning. It really wasn't such a bad ordeal. I rather enjoyed being pampered while I was in the hospital. Nobody can tell you what your experience will be like, because it's your surgery, and nobody else's. I can only tell you that my experience was rather uneventful, and routine, and that I'm infinitely happy that I did it, because now I can regain control of my life. Control that I had lost to my diseased uterus. Just remember that you are doing this for a reason, and take it one day at a time. I don't know the reasons why your surgery is needed, but I'll bet you've already been through more pain than this surgery is going to cause. And even if you do feel worse after the surgery, it's only temporary, and it will get better. Just follow your doctor's instructions, and if something doesn't seem normal to you, don't keep quiet about it. I hope I've been able to put your mind at ease, at least a little bit. Remember, just get through one day at a time.
  #5  
Unread 04-27-2012, 02:40 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

I had a similar reaction. I told my doctor he was doing an awful sales job! First he told me I needed surgery then recited a litany of risks. It's kind of like if I were selling you a car and then sat and talked about how it might catch on fire, might stall in traffic, might explode....but you gotta buy it. I don't want to make you feel worse, but make you feel better by knowing you are not alone--I reacted much the same way.
  #6  
Unread 04-27-2012, 02:55 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

Thanks Orange 147! I appreciate the details of what you found good or bad. It helps me prepare for these events. I'm pretty sure the catheter is going to be most unpleasant.
Thanks 1213! I see your surgery is just around the corner. I hope it goes very well for you and best wishes for a very speedy recovery.
Molly50 and DancingPopcorn- Thanks for the info and links. I found the list and that is quite helpful.
  #7  
Unread 04-27-2012, 03:34 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

when i told my family, friends, and co-workers i also told them that i didn't want to talk about it and that's helped me. Complications from hysterectomies have gone way down as Dr's get better and technology improves. why not check out a different dr for a 2nd opinion, since your having a LAVH you should qualify for a TLH. And don't feel bad if you go in for a 2nd opinion even if you like your Dr, this is a major surgery and if you're not 100% on board a 2nd opion might be what helps.
  #8  
Unread 04-27-2012, 03:35 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

There is a link " hints from members" just below where you click on post op hysterectomy support in the forum. You'll find all kinds of prep ideas there. I felt much the same way as you before surgery. I was so annoyed with all the do gooders constantly telling me I had nothing to worry about, it would be a breeze, etc. I was absolutely ready to explode. I am 3 weeks post op and there is nothing about this surgery or recovery that I would say was a breeze. I think it's sort of like if you as a woman that just gave birth 2 days ago how much it hurt, she will tell you in detail exactly how horrible each contraction, the pain of pushing, the horrible pain of contractions after birth as well as the pain from the stitches. If you ask this same lady 10 years later how bad childbirth was, she will say, it hurt, but wasn't really so bad. Every woman is different, and every recovery is different. Your stressed about it, and you have a right to be stressed. People are just trying to make you feel better so your not scared.
  #9  
Unread 04-27-2012, 03:41 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

Thanks Cathb911, I appreciate the straight talk and glad to know I'm not the only one who gets annoyed. I will definitely check that link!
IAVamp79- I did get a 2nd opinion actually and was really hoping for another alternative. I really like my Doctor and I like her "all cards on the table" approach. I haven't mentioned the problem yet but I have a fibroid more than 1/2 the size of my uterus and a cyst on my right ovary. I am going to inquire about TLH though just in case. I was thinking the fibroid was too big for that procedure though. Thanks for the advice!
  #10  
Unread 04-27-2012, 03:53 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

My LAVH was done because I also had fibroids. My uterus was 3 times it's normal size. It had to be LAVH, instead of TLH so she could get the ovaries. I got my pathology today, and one fibroid was the size of an orange, and there was adenomyosis, and endometrial hyperplasia. The latter 2 weren't discivered until the pathology. If you are removing your ovaries, too, that's probably why it's LAVH, instead of TLH. Just something to consider asking your doctor about. My doctor was amazing, and I'm sure that's a big part of the reason I've done so well.
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