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Petrified and about to crack... Petrified and about to crack...

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  #11  
Unread 04-28-2012, 12:23 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

I had a LAVH 10 days ago and I'm feeling great. I had the same anxiety you did and I had 2 years of warning this was coming. So sorry {{{hugs}}} I saw a psychologist, felt so much better after just a few sessions. Not sure if that is your thing but it might be worth a shot. Also, getting a second or third or fourth opinion is not cheating on your doctor. If you have any doubt in your mind go see someone else. I saw 4 surgeons and a endocrinologist before going back to the original surgeon I love! I just wanted to be sure.
You have every right to feel what you feel and not be judged for it. I hated people telling me it was no big deal. It is a big deal. The surgery itself wasn't terrible though. But you are allowed to be worried and concerned about it. We love you!! I believe that you will feel better after the surgery and be glad you did it, but that doesn't mean you have to be super happy and excited about having it. Just be honest with us, and more importantly, with yourself. <3 If we can help let us know!!!
xoxo
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  #12  
Unread 04-28-2012, 02:10 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by iwrbotb View Post
The few people I've confided in are amazing and incredibly supportive but I think I'm at that point where no one can say anything right. Everyone wants to focus on how great things will be and how happy I will be for the problems to be gone and assure me there's nothing to worry about. Sure, that's all true but right now it makes me feel so incredibly alone. I have to get through the surgery first. Complications of the surgery include damage to other organs and of course they throw in that whole death thing. I realize that is rare but when someone says "it will all be fine" and "nothing to worry about" it actually makes me feel my fears are unwarranted and they don't take this seriously. I want to tell them they are not the one being cut open but I keep my mouth shut. I had to tell my man nicely this morning to please stop the cheer leading. It's making me more emotional and upset. By the way, the Xanax is NOT helping. Any other suggestions?
Hi there - just wanted to let you know, I had my laproscopic & vaginal hysterectomy on Tuesday and the surgery went well apparently (I'm yet to see my full report). Beforehand I was a mess, so anxious, doing a great job of nesting, cleaned the house and shopped til I dropped, but was awake every night with insomnia and fears. People kept telling me it would all be ok, so I understand how you feel that is undermining your anxiety, which is, lets face it, warranted. Any major surgery is a major deal. But it took me a while to work out that people close to me kept telling me it was all going to be fine in large part because they wanted to believe it too. It wasn't just about me - it was about them. So when I spoke about my fears that I wouldn't wake up from the surgery, and my partner shared the same fears, and I felt such relief. I forgot immediately on waking that that was a fear, until y'day as I arrived home and I turned to my partner and said "I'm home and I'm alive!". This is not an easy journey, but I hope you at least get some comfort in knowing your fears are shared and that one by one we come out the other side of this, and for many of us, although not easy, its a good thing.
  #13  
Unread 04-28-2012, 07:59 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

WickedInOz- thanks so much for sharing your experience! I really don't doubt that I need this. That's probably the only thing I am sure about. I just don't want to do this. I never had children and do not want children so I'm also not upset over losing the ability. I know I will be happy for it to all be gone. I have no use for it. I do hope she can save my ovaries and that is the intention. It really just comes down to me being scared to death of the procedure and the experience from walking into that hospital until I'm dismissed. I'm already thinking of how I can get out of there quicker. The psychologist sounds like a great idea if I had more time. I'm glad it's helped you. Hope you have a speedy recovery and thanks for sharing!
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  #14  
Unread 04-28-2012, 08:09 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

Hi Angel2012- Thanks for replying! I appreciate your perspective on my loved ones and their comments being more about them. That makes total sense! I am glad to know I'm not the only one offended at some point though. I've never been one to be so sensitive about things but this experience is certainly bringing it out of me. I do realize people mean well though. These experiences teach me how to react to others for sure. I lost my father last month and I know what not to say to people losing a parent now. I guess it will be the same with this. Everything is a learning experience. I was reminded of the story about my father trying to jump out of the hospital window when he learned he had diabetes (1970) and had to give himself shots. My mom has been through everything and nothing seems to phase her. I guess I must take after my dad! ha ha Thanks for sharing. I hope to use your "I'm home and I'm alive!" declaration! That must have been a great feeling. Hope you heal fast and you're right... it IS a big deal. Thanks so much!
  #15  
Unread 04-28-2012, 01:18 PM
Petrified and about to crack...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss on top of everything else going on for you. I won't go on about it as I too know the well intentioned pain other people's responses to the loss of a parent can bring, but just to say I'm thinking of you, right here if you need a backup anytime. time seems to do strange things in grief and in preparation for major life events like surgery - it can be so slow and then suddenly so fast too...be gentle with yourself. Sending you my best wishes.
  Quote:
Originally Posted by iwrbotb View Post
Hi Angel2012- Thanks for replying! I appreciate your perspective on my loved ones and their comments being more about them. That makes total sense! I am glad to know I'm not the only one offended at some point though. I've never been one to be so sensitive about things but this experience is certainly bringing it out of me. I do realize people mean well though. These experiences teach me how to react to others for sure. I lost my father last month and I know what not to say to people losing a parent now. I guess it will be the same with this. Everything is a learning experience. I was reminded of the story about my father trying to jump out of the hospital window when he learned he had diabetes (1970) and had to give himself shots. My mom has been through everything and nothing seems to phase her. I guess I must take after my dad! ha ha Thanks for sharing. I hope to use your "I'm home and I'm alive!" declaration! That must have been a great feeling. Hope you heal fast and you're right... it IS a big deal. Thanks so much!
  #16  
Unread 04-28-2012, 09:03 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

I have also kept this from my parents and was private at first but have realized that these experiences are so common for women nowadays, women I have spoken to talk about it with ease so that brings me at ease as well. I will have my aunt and uncle with me during surgery and post surgery for a month so it will help me. I am keeping busy at work but I am starting to slow down. My surgery is on May 18th and I know I will be nervous as it gets closer. I am also fearful of the day I check in, the preparation and then taking me to the OR. I also like to be in control and this will be a different experience for me...not sure how I will let go but fortunately, my uncle is a surgen and I have asked him to help me thru this at the hospital. I dont know how everything will fill when I first open my eyes and that also has me nervous....I definitely understand how you feel. The past few weeks, I have been feeling on the low down physicaly (dont want to go out as clothes dont fit any more) but I am trying to meet friends here and there. I have fibroids and my uterus is about the size of a 5 month pregnancy so I am not myself. I cannot wait until this is all taken out...ovaries I will keep. I cannot wait to get healthier, be more ME oriented (always dedicated to work and others) and being able to wear cute clothes. By the way, this is my first posting at HysterSisters and was glad to find someone else who is private and trying to deal with it. I am hopeful that our lives are meant for greater things and, after surgery, we will be really, really glad we are past this.
  #17  
Unread 04-29-2012, 08:22 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel2012 View Post
I am so sorry to hear of your loss on top of everything else going on for you. I won't go on about it as I too know the well intentioned pain other people's responses to the loss of a parent can bring, but just to say I'm thinking of you, right here if you need a backup anytime. time seems to do strange things in grief and in preparation for major life events like surgery - it can be so slow and then suddenly so fast too...be gentle with yourself. Sending you my best wishes.
Thank you so much. "I'm thinking of you" is probably the best thing a person can say in most situations.
  #18  
Unread 04-29-2012, 08:40 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Margie74 View Post
I have also kept this from my parents and was private at first but have realized that these experiences are so common for women nowadays, women I have spoken to talk about it with ease so that brings me at ease as well. I will have my aunt and uncle with me during surgery and post surgery for a month so it will help me. I am keeping busy at work but I am starting to slow down. My surgery is on May 18th and I know I will be nervous as it gets closer. I am also fearful of the day I check in, the preparation and then taking me to the OR. I also like to be in control and this will be a different experience for me...not sure how I will let go but fortunately, my uncle is a surgen and I have asked him to help me thru this at the hospital. I dont know how everything will fill when I first open my eyes and that also has me nervous....I definitely understand how you feel. The past few weeks, I have been feeling on the low down physicaly (dont want to go out as clothes dont fit any more) but I am trying to meet friends here and there. I have fibroids and my uterus is about the size of a 5 month pregnancy so I am not myself. I cannot wait until this is all taken out...ovaries I will keep. I cannot wait to get healthier, be more ME oriented (always dedicated to work and others) and being able to wear cute clothes. By the way, this is my first posting at HysterSisters and was glad to find someone else who is private and trying to deal with it. I am hopeful that our lives are meant for greater things and, after surgery, we will be really, really glad we are past this.
Hi Margie74! Thanks for replying and I'm glad you could relate to my post. It's also nice to know that there are other private people out there. It sounds like you've really suffered. I was quite reluctant to post at first but I'm so glad I did now. It really is comforting to know that there are many of us going through the same feelings, fears and emotions. It has actually calmed me quite a bit to know that what I'm feeling is normal. I didn't think it was normal at all and that added to my stress. The ladies here are incredibly caring and comforting. It sounds like you've had a very rough time and I'm so sorry to hear that. Your uncle could be a great source of support. He could fill you in on all of the small details. Sometimes I get very anxious about the details of the process. It's as if I want someone to tell me word for word every single step of the entire process. Many have posted their stories and have also been kind enough to share with me their personal experience. I'm still terrified but at least now I know I have a great support system and source of information and that in itself is comforting. I will be thinking of you and I hope that you too can find the support and resources here to help get through all of this.
  #19  
Unread 04-30-2012, 09:05 PM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

Can't add to what has already been said but ((HUGS)) and know you are not alone. My surgery is Thursday. I have had permanent pain in my gut for days now. I have never had major surgery either and just do not know what to expect at all. Like you have read it all but it still doesn't give me a real idea on what it will be like and of course, the unknown that lurks over all of us is the worst.
(((HUGS))) and good luck!
  #20  
Unread 05-01-2012, 08:11 AM
Re: Petrified and about to crack...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by pcar68 View Post
Can't add to what has already been said but ((HUGS)) and know you are not alone. My surgery is Thursday. I have had permanent pain in my gut for days now. I have never had major surgery either and just do not know what to expect at all. Like you have read it all but it still doesn't give me a real idea on what it will be like and of course, the unknown that lurks over all of us is the worst.
(((HUGS))) and good luck!
Hi PCar68,
Thanks and you are so right. The unknown is the worst. It does help to know I'm not alone. I completely lost it yesterday and decided I couldn't do this. I haven't canceled yet but I don't know if I will make it. I can't eat, sleep, focus, etc. I've had a few good days in there where I've accomplished a ton of things at home. I've been trying to take care of everything I won't be able to do after. I purchased all of the items that others here have mentioned. I think I'm okay and then BAM, I lose it. I wish you the very best with your surgery. I will be thinking of you! Please let us know how it goes.
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