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Husband Frustrations Husband Frustrations

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Unread 04-28-2012, 10:39 PM
Husband Frustrations

Do normally good and decent husbands act stupid before hysterectomies? I ask mine to go to the doctor with me and he said "with my schedule it would be really hard." I ask if he wanted to ask questions and he said "what questions would I have to ask". Today his main concern is asking me to keep the pubic area shaved once they shave it for surgery. I am getting really frustrated with him. Who would feel like shaving a sore and sensitive area after surgery when it hurts to breathe probably. He is making me feel alone and sad not being a part of this. It is a big deal to me.

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Unread 04-28-2012, 10:57 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Hi, I cant given personal experience advice abt hubby stuff bc I am very single- no boyfriend, partner, nothing.
But, I wanted to post that I am sorry you are having this to deal with on top of everything else. Have you talked with him about how you are feeling abt the surgery? Have you told him how important it is to you that he go to your appointment with you, that it would help you?
He is likely worried/stressed about your surgery as well. Granted he could show it differently than asking you to "maintain the hair cut" .
If you feel comfortable talking with him I think that is the 1st step. Maybe he is worried as well, but doesnt want to bring it up for fear of upsetting you?
Im sure some sisters will have better "been there done that" advice.
I wish you all the best & keep us posted.
Big hugs!
Unread 04-28-2012, 11:01 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Boy I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this time with a little bit of frustration with him. May be he is in a little bit of denial? Men...I don't think that they can quiet understand what we will experience.. Try sitting down with him and talk to him face to face and with no one around. Because he's really going to face facts with you after the surgery. Then if he is still being a little strange ( to put that in a nice way) about the fact....kick him! And let him feel some pain
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Unread 04-28-2012, 11:03 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Thanks for the reply. He doesn't realize what a big part of me my reproductive system is and how scary this is for me. My female organs are a huge part of who I am. I amm worried about many things. I told him that I wish just once he'd hold my hand and tell me that he was there for me.
Unread 04-28-2012, 11:17 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Well Lovely... Remember, we are here for you. Ask any question you need to ask before your surgery and especially afterwards. We physically cannot hold your hand but we're here with warm hearts, prayers and comforting thoughts for you.
Again, remember you now adopted a whole bunch of sisters.
Unread 04-28-2012, 11:20 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Lovelyladylumps sometimes men have a hard time dealing with illness, ( unless its them lol) but seriously he may not understand how big a deal it is to us women, you can go to this page and print off or let him read about them

or go to the video section and have him watch a video of your type of surgery. If he cant go to the appointment is there some instructions or information your doctor can give you for him.

He may yet surprise you when the surgery is there.

Good luck with him and your surgery....keep us posted....
Unread 04-28-2012, 11:42 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

I spent about three weeks before surgery on hystersisters. I made it a point to constantly tell DH things I learned. By the time surgery came he was an expert on the procedure and recovery issues. I don't think he would have had any idea how serious the surgery and recovery restrictions were had I not constantly told him things I learned here.Now as I recover I make it a point to tell him every time I read a post from a sister that has a non supportive hubby and we discuss a bit. I think it helps keep him focused. They really don't know how to act and help if we don't make sure they fully understand.
Unread 04-28-2012, 11:49 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Are you also in pain. I feel like someone is standing on my uterus with a big hot work boot. I have to pee alot and can't have a normal bowel movement with out fiber help. I hurt worse at night for some reason. The more I read the crazier it makes me.
Unread 04-28-2012, 11:50 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Very true. Thanks for the reply. I should educate him.
Unread 04-29-2012, 01:44 AM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Originally Posted by Lovelyladylumps View Post
Are you also in pain. I feel like someone is standing on my uterus with a big hot work boot. I have to pee alot and can't have a normal bowel movement with out fiber help. I hurt worse at night for some reason. The more I read the crazier it makes me.
Sorry about the hubby.... I am in constant pain and sex is awful sometimes, it feels like i am being stabbed straight in the uterus... I thought my bm problems were the different from the endo problems. I keep hearing about the swelly belly and I havent had surgery yet. But I seriously think the bloating and pain from the uterus to the bm is not helping me any at all. I keep a heating pad beside my bed at all times in order to help me sleep.

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