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Husband Frustrations Husband Frustrations

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Unread 04-29-2012, 06:15 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Going through it here. I think my husband resents losing me as the one who does everything in this family. He's pretty moody and says he's so tired of hearing about it. I guess that was my fault for not telling anyone for a long time how bad off I was. So when I finally spoke up, I never shut up.

One night during one of my mood swings I went off on him and reminded him that I have a brand new vagina and if he wanted to share that when it was ready, he needed to get with the program or get out of my way.
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Unread 04-29-2012, 10:28 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

This all sucks but I am thankful for not having it worse than I do. Thanks for the replies.
Unread 04-29-2012, 10:58 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

Husbands can be so troublesome, but I really think they are just clueless sometimes. My husband was also too busy to go to my pre-op appt, thought he would run an errand while I was in the OR (not!), and suggested he might go to work the day after my surgery and have me call his mom when I was discharged. I also had to remind him that he needed to ask me how I was feeling. Sigh. BUT he also took over everything at home without complaint, went shopping for t-shirt dresses and granny underwear without complaint, and has been genuinely appropriately appalled at my hrt struggles.
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Unread 04-30-2012, 12:42 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

My otherwise wonderful husband is the same way. He gets grossed out just with the word "uterus." When I am in pain I usually leave the room so I don't have to see his eyes roll. I asked him to come with me to my doctor appointment to discuss whether I wanted to schedule the surgery and asked if he had any questions and he just said "no" and changed the subject. I have tried talking to him about it but felt like he didn't want to hear it. The only thing he has said is that he thinks that I don't need the surgery because it is too drastic. Obviously he isn't the one in severe pain 10 days a month. It has gotten to the point that I'm not even sure if he knows that I have scheduled the surgery. I have made remarks here and there about it just so he knows that I am doing it. Once it gets closer (it's not until November due to my busy work schedule) I will have to sit down with him and make him listen about my "girl surgery" and what I will need from him. It is so frustrating when the person we need support from the most isn't there to comfort us. Men really do think completely differently than us women. At least we have each other

I hope your husband's attitude changes and he become more supportive. Good luck!
Unread 04-30-2012, 12:51 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

My husband is the type that usually doesnt want to know about "women issues", but he doesnt just blow it off when the conversation comes up, which is good.

Lately though, hes been really interested in my well being, (just wish he was home to comfort me). Just today I told him that i have to go shopping this weekend this way I knew there was food in the house to last a little while..right away he said "NO, I will go shopping while youre in surgery!" I thought to myself, "Really, you shopping?"...LOL my husband HATES going shopping, unless its for something he really wants..LOL

I have found that other people in my life (family and friends) have basically blown off the topic of my hyterectomy. Im not sure if its because they dont understand, or just do not want to hear about it.

I felt so alone (hubbys OTR so hasnt been home thru this whole process) until I found this site. I have been able to ease my mind, and actually get things done that I knew would need to be. I love coming here throughout the day and reading other peoples stories. I know Im not alone!
Unread 04-30-2012, 02:48 PM
Husband Frustrations

Your female reproductive parts DO NOT make u who u r inside! They r just a part of u! And my hobby is a mess too with this whole operation thing I have never been sick so he has no idea how to handle it!
Unread 04-30-2012, 03:03 PM
Re: Husband Frustrations

My DH was an idiot through the entire process. Any time I tried to talk to him he kept saying "are you sure, isn't there something else they can do?" Each time I tried to talk to him he shut down. The day of my surgery he kept starting fights with me. I finally had him drop me off at my sister's place and she drove me to the hospital, he did not come.

After I got home he acted like he was so worried, constantly telling me to rest and stay in bed. I've been back to work for two weeks now and he still keeps telling me to rest. I think his telling me to rest is his way of not feeling guilty for what he did to me.

So, you are not the only one with a husband who is frustrating. I hope yours comes to his senses and treats you better.

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