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A little offended A little offended

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Unread 05-01-2012, 02:55 PM
A little offended

Regarding guilt for taking time off work, if you work for a large corporation don't feel guilty. I worked at one of "the big three" for ten years. During that time I saw ppl injured on the job, and as they lay on the floor of the factory waiting on the ambulance supervision had replacement operators stepping over them so the
line didn't stop. Take care of yourself first! People in large corporations are only a number and are replacable!

Originally Posted by Sar71 View Post
Even tho as previously mentioned certain friends have been insensitive I have an amazingly supportive family. I can talk to my husband about most of it but am so so grateful to be able to come here. Work are being very good but I will admit I have a lot of guilt about having to take time off work - I have already had ten weeks off this year after a car accident at Xmas.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences xxx
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Unread 05-02-2012, 06:54 AM
Re: A little offended

I am having an abdominal surgery. my doctor told me I would be off work 6 to 8 weeks. and my acting the same way my boss is a surprised I will be back in a few weeks. and no 1 understands my anxiety, you think I'm just being silly and childish things scared. after reading everything on the site I don't know if I will even be able to go back in 8 weeks. but I will run out of sick time at that point and I don't wanna risk my job over there so I'm not sure what I could do
Unread 05-02-2012, 10:43 AM
A little offended

What kind of work do you do?

Originally Posted by dwadeb1990 View Post
I am having an abdominal surgery.
my doctor told me I would be off work 6 to 8 weeks. and my acting the same way my boss is a surprised I will be back in a few weeks. and no 1 understands my anxiety, you think I'm just being silly and childish things scared. after reading everything on the site I don't know if I will even be able to go back in 8 weeks. but I will run out of sick time at that point and I don't wanna risk my job over there so I'm not sure what I could do
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Unread 05-02-2012, 07:43 PM
Re: A little offended

Originally Posted by jaydee40 View Post
As we all know going through this is pretty stressful and at times like this we need our friends. I have a friend at work that I always lend an ear and try to help her with her problems because thats what friends do. However she has not asked a single question about my hysterectomy and the three times I have brought it up she changed the subject and talked about things that were going on with her. Thats fine I just blew it off. Then when I told her how our boss reacted by saying "6 weeks! I didn't think you would be gone that long!!" she said "I think she was just shocked... it is just a routine surgery" I couldn't believe she said that! I told her yes in the sense that they do it more now than they used to but it is still MAJOR surgery. she said "well yeah" and changed the subject. I am a little offended by this and thought maybe its because of the emotional state i'm in? Have any of you had similar situations?
Hi Jaydee...I can totally understand how you're feeling. My boss and I are really close (in age as well) and we share everything about our lives, children, husbands, etc., But as far as my surgery, she basically knows the date and that's about it. We haven't discussed anything since whenever I tried, she either changed the subject or acted too busy and I quickly got the message.... I only have seven days til my surgery and I haven't even been able to discuss how my work will be done in my absence!

Well, if it's any consolation, Jaydee, I feel for you and completely understand and wish you the best! This is major surgery and we shouldn't have to stress over these inane issues with other folks. Let's just concentrate on ourselves and getting through this. Having said that, I wish I could click my heels and wake up two weeks post op!

Will be wishing you the best!
Unread 05-02-2012, 11:43 PM
Re: A little offended

Thank you Topchef. I have come to the conclusion that I just won't talk about it and remember why I am doing this in the first place (as I have heard so many times from here) it really is the best way. Besides, there are great people here to confide in that KNOW what you are talking about and it makes you feel less alone. Hope you have a fast and easy recovery. Don't worry about work. This is for you
Unread 05-03-2012, 05:09 AM
Re: A little offended

I guess many people are just not comfortable with certain topics especially about ladyparts-but for a "friend" to never call again after hearing hysterectomy? Wow...I guess it was for the best. Hystersisters have been a blessing for me- was tired of being offended prior to my surgery (for different reasons)and instead focused on healing. Found the site a couple days prior to surgery and am SO grateful for the information and the support. Before Hystersisters I was truly alone with my recovery. My parents and brother are deceased. I have 1 sister lives in another state and my brother lives a few miles away but did not show up at the hospital when i told him im having surgery. Called about 2 weeks later and tried to use reverse psychology to attempt to shift blame on me to justify him not showing up. Did not expect him to really as i am not close to either one of my siblings. He was a teenager when i was born I was closer with the brother that grew up with me. Was i offended ? No-already know the person he is and cannot change that. Offended about MANY things concerning my remaining family members but lack of support is not one of them. Cannot even get support from my own children. I may be feeling resentment but not offended.
Unread 05-03-2012, 09:08 AM
Re: A little offended

I didn't tell a lot of people but some I did tell, seemed to think it was just "routine".

My boss was shocked to know I would be out for a minimum of 8 weeks, along with the lady I work with.

Even a few ladies that had hysterectomies, was like......oh, I was up and cleaning the house within a week (older women, in their 70's). I replied "I bet you have bladder issues now since you didn't give yourself plenty of time to heal properly"............... they went silent. Many (clients) couldn't understand why I still felt like crap for a several more months after I returned to work. *sigh*

I've had many people understand/try to understand and many that think its gallbladder surgery.

Just try to ignore the stupid and embrace the ones that understand.
Unread 05-03-2012, 06:27 PM
Re: A little offended

Yep, that was another classic! My mom comparing me losing my uterus to her gall bladder surgery. I understand her using that as a point of reference since she just had that surgery a year earlier. And in both cases it was removing an organ that wasn't working properly. But it was an organ with great significance to me and a very rough thing for me to go through. I'd be fine with losing my gall bladder or appendix. But hands off my lady bits.
Unread 05-03-2012, 07:28 PM
Re: A little offended

I just finally got my TVH scheduled today, but knew it was coming. I work with some RN's and one of them tried to talk me into getting more opinions for other options because I'm only 36. I understand the encouragement to get another opinion to a point. But when I've made up my mind, it's made up. Its not like it's something that I'm doing because I think it sounds fun to do for Pete's sake. Another tells me that it's too bad it has to be so soon (July). No, I think I'll wait a couple months or years to change from atypia to cancer instead cause THAT sounds like a thrill to me.
Unread 05-03-2012, 09:00 PM
Re: A little offended

For the past couple of days I have listened to my friends' problems and helped her out as best I could. Today my friend asked (the same friend that said it was routine surgery) how long would I be gone? I told her I wasn't sure it depended on how I felt and if there were any complications etc.. she said she wanted to write it in her calendar so July 9th? (which would put me at 5 weeks) again I said I'm not sure could be sooner than 6 weeks I just don't know. She throws her head back and stares at the celing and whines "what am I going to do for so long without you"? Hold the phone! First you say its routine surgery then when it effects you, your concerned? really??? ugh!
Stlhystersister-I'm so sorry your family is not supportive! No one should have to go through this alone. I hope that your recovery hasn't been to rough.
Keltec-Thats great that some coworkers recovered quickly but not everyone is like that and not everyone has the same type of hyster either. Is that one of the effects if you do to much to soon? bladder issues?
Sugarandspice-why do people feel the need to compare surgeries? I never did get that. I figure it this way. A hysterectomy has to do with your lower abdomen and if you really think about it, you use your lower abdomen with everything you do! so yeah its going to take awhile to heal right? [email protected] bits
Km578- Lets be honest, aren't we all doing this just for fun? lol Other options....like they haven't been tried. Nope just woke up one morning and said to myself "hmmmm...I'm gonna have a hyterectomy" ha! Good for you in knowing what you want and good luck in your upcoming surgery

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