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A little offended A little offended

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  #41  
Unread 05-03-2012, 09:40 PM
Re: A little offended

I too feel very very alone in this (except here). Nothing anyone says comforts me. The doctor is wonderful but I left feeling neurotic for wanting to think it all over again. My husband is mostly concerned about whether or not I am going to keep the shaved look. My friend keeps saying "oh I hate to see you lose your uterus, can't you take herbs!". My boss nearly fainted because there will be 2 of us out having surgery. What about me!!!! As for the remarks "you don't need that thing you've had your kids". I'd like to scream! That doesn't mean it is easy getting is removed. My husband's friend said that and I ask him if he'd like to get his cut off! Ok complaining feels better. I do wish we could chat on here like a chat room style. Can we?
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  #42  
Unread 05-04-2012, 08:30 AM
Re: A little offended

If one more person says to me, Oh you will be fine, its really not a big deal, women do it every day........I'm going to scream!!!!!!!!!!! It is a big deal. People have brain surgery every day, people battle cancer everyday, people have to go thru all sorts of horrible things everyday, but that doesnt mean thay want to, or that it makes it any easier because someone else has done it. (and before someone yells at me, I am not comparing having a hysterectomy to battling cancer) Im jsut saying people endure pain and go thru hell each and every day, I understand that, but no one signs up for it and looks forward to it.
  #43  
Unread 05-04-2012, 08:53 AM
Re: A little offended

Amen sisters! It is no big deal until it happens to them. I guess it is good that they can't feel the full impact they we feel but they good learn what not to say.



PS: I also feel freaked out when they are ovely apologetic and say "oh I am so sorry!" It scares me and makes me want to say "WHY!!??? What is going to happen to me!!!??
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  #44  
Unread 05-04-2012, 10:49 AM
Re: A little offended

  Quote:
Originally Posted by jaydee40 View Post
Keltec-Thats great that some coworkers recovered quickly but not everyone is like that and not everyone has the same type of hyster either. Is that one of the effects if you do to much to soon? bladder issues?
Yes it is. You must allow yourself time to heal internally (6-12 months). When the uterus is removed, ligaments are cut, which also are attached to the bladder and I think the lower intestines. Those have to be restitched so they won't prolapse.

After surgery, you shouldn't be straining, bending, picking up anything heavy, etc, for at least 6+ weeks (IMO). Doctors will give their own instructions. If not, ASK. Those ligaments have to heal. I think the dissolveable sutures take 2-8 weeks to completely dissolve. You will have hundreds of internal sutures holding things together.

I found watching videos on youtube of all of the different hysterectomies very informative. Its reality. The uterus isn't just sitting in there free floating and attached only by your cervix. There are ligaments every where, arteries, along with the tubes and ovaries, cervix and they are pretty much all connected.

Those videos put this surgery into a very real perspective and make you realize how much of a major surgery it is.
  #45  
Unread 05-04-2012, 11:01 AM
Re: A little offended

For a time, it does seem everyone says stupid things while you are trying to make a life altering decision.

I will be one week post-op tomorrow, all those stupid opinons are ignorance talking. Our job as sisters to spread information to help you make the right decison for you.

There will still be stupid opinions during and after the surgery as well, focus on the priorities you need to consider in your situation.

I was grateful it is not the nineteenth century and I did not have to go to the babershop to get this done. Today, there are competent doctors that will help you get thru the process.

Hopefully, some day, if my daughter has to be at this fork in the road she will have even more choices and doctors will know more about women's bodies.

Tell people to have a heart, pass that on.
  #46  
Unread 05-04-2012, 11:04 AM
A little offended

I have to admit that prior to surgery, haven't ever really had reason to think about it, I just assumed the uterus was kinda just floating around......lol.........nope!!! It's attached for sure!!!


  Quote:
Originally Posted by Keltec View Post
Yes it is. You must allow yourself time to heal internally (6-12 months). When the uterus is removed, ligaments are cut, which also are attached to the bladder and I think the lower intestines. Those have to be restitched so they won't prolapse.

After surgery, you shouldn't be straining, bending, picking up anything heavy, etc, for at least 6+ weeks (IMO). Doctors will give their own instructions. If not, ASK. Those ligaments have to heal. I think the dissolveable sutures take 2-8 weeks to completely dissolve. You will have hundreds of internal sutures holding things together.

I found watching videos on youtube of all of the different hysterectomies very informative. Its reality. The uterus isn't just sitting in there free floating and attached only by your cervix. There are ligaments every where, arteries, along with the tubes and ovaries, cervix and they are pretty much all connected.

Those videos put this surgery into a very real perspective and make you realize how much of a major surgery it is.
  #47  
Unread 05-04-2012, 12:50 PM
Re: A little offended

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovelyladylumps View Post
Amen sisters! It is no big deal until it happens to them. I guess it is good that they can't feel the full impact they we feel but they good learn what not to say.



PS: I also feel freaked out when they are ovely apologetic and say "oh I am so sorry!" It scares me and makes me want to say "WHY!!??? What is going to happen to me!!!??
WOW, me too! Whenever I tell folks, they immediately say Oh! I am so sorry! in this really sad voice... it's a little disconcerting!
  #48  
Unread 05-04-2012, 01:12 PM
Re: A little offended

Well said girls!It saddens me when I read the stories from ladies that do too much too soon and suffer complications because of it. I think they fall for all that stuff other people tell them and feel pressured to recover quickly. I wish everyone listened to the hystersisters and just took the time to heal properly.Some doctors even give loose restrictions, but the hystersisters speak from experience.So many ladies go to the Emergency room with complications and their doctors tell them it's common. It's only common because the doctors aren't being firm with restrictions and/or so many ladies aren't following them.Being common doesn't mean it's ok, just means it happens all the time, duh!
  #49  
Unread 05-05-2012, 01:06 PM
Re: A little offended

People can indeed be hurtful and unless they have been through a hysterectomy themselves, despite what they think, they haven't got a clue. It is major surgery and it comes with risks. 6 weeks is a good marker as it really is only then that you feel like yourself again. No matter what anyone says, family, employer, friends, everyone's stages of healing is different to the next person so when they ask you when you will be back to normal tell them it is likely to be 6 months.................LOL and really give them something to think about. Don't let anyone put you under pressure - you will be ready when you are ready.

Best wishes to all.

Kallinda.

Ps; On the day after my surgery a "friend" came to visit me in hospital. She plonked herself on my bed and said "so what was that gossip you were going to tell me about x in work"!!!! I am still gobsmacked
  #50  
Unread 05-06-2012, 10:12 AM
Re: A little offended

Hi,

I'm saddened that your friends haven't given you a chance to express yourself. Last thing we need is negativity! So, thank goodness for this website, right? I've had great support luckily, but for answers from those who have experienced the same thing first hand, the HysterSister site has been great. I feel much less alone and hope you do too.
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