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I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

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  #1  
Unread 04-30-2012, 10:52 AM
I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

At the ripe age of 32, I am scheduled for my LSH on May 24th. The waiting is excruciating at this point!

Little history:
Have had terrible uncontrollable periods since age 12. Had a large ovarian cyst removed laparoscopically in '05 and was diagnosed with Crohn's disease the same year. The past 4 or so years, the periods have gotten progressively worse. BCP have not helped....even when instructed to skip the "placebo" pills. Last year I started having my period for 10 days about every 25 days so my gyn scheduled me for an ablation Nov. 29 2011.

Unfortunately, it failed. At my March annual exam, she felt that she needed to do another sonohistogram ultrasound to determine what was going on with the lining (and said that a repeat ablation would prob help). Two days later, she did the test and immediately led me to her office. The fibroid that was 3 cm in November has now grown to 9 cm...and counting. I was offered two options: myomectomy or hysterectomy. After much research and prayer, I chose the LSH (due to my previous surgeries and crohn's she wants to do it all laparoscopically).

That brings me to today...and the past couple weeks. I started my period AGAIN ...it just ended last wed. and today is Mon. I know that I have made the right decision....but just trying to figure out how to get through the next few weeks.

My DH (of just one year) has been extremely supportive and understanding through all the tiredness, bleeding, sheet changes etc., however, I am concerned about recovery. Yesterday, (in front of my mom, a fellow Hyster sister) he commented that it will be like after the ablation....ummmm. Needless to say, her eyes about rolled out of her head. And yes, I have directed him to the Misterhystersister site.

So, after speaking to him last night, we have decided it would be best for us both to spend several nts at my parents house, as my mom understands and he, well, thinks ill be up and at it in 24 hrs.

We have no children together (I have never had the desire to have any of my own), but he has two from his first marriage and so we have arranged his visitations with his ex wife so that it does not fall on Mem. day weekend....so that is a minor miracle and blessing.

He just called and told me that I don't need to do anything else to our house (I have been doing some major cleaning on my days off....mostly to keep my mind busy). He said that it suitable just the way it is. The only thing I could think to say is that I am "nesting"..... and he quickly changed the subject. In the past few weeks, I have rearranged the bedroom, the family room, and repainted the kitchen. And, fallen off the counter painting....and dislocated my shoulder. It is all healed up...and I am under strict orders to not climb on anything.

I really have no idea where I am going with all this....I just feel overwhelmed. I am so ready to be on the other, healing, side. I got my surgery date back at the end of March.....and have waited patiently the first month....but now, the anxiety is building.

My preop is in two weeks and I am bring my awesome sister in law (a nurse) with me. I would love to bring my DH but it just isn't possible as it is standardized testing time at the school where he teaches. I am planning on asking my dr. for something for the anxiety at that appt. and hopefully, it won't be a problem.

I just reread this and realized I rambled...and I am sorry. I just needed to put it out there.

P.S. this site is WONDERFUL!
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  #2  
Unread 04-30-2012, 01:02 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

Ramble on, no worries, that's what we are here for. Keep on " nesting" too. You'll be so glad during recovery that you got all those things off your " to do" list. Week 3 of recovery consists on being well enough to notice what needs done around the house but not being able to do a darned thing about it because of restrictions and lack of energy!! Good luck to you!
  #3  
Unread 04-30-2012, 01:20 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

It's OK--ramble and vent all you want! Get your home ready the way you will want it. That means putting things you'll need to get to at an easy-reach place (take those pj pants out of the BOTTOM dresser drawer...) I was nesting too--but only had 2 weeks' notice so I didn't get so much done.
And as Cath said above about week 3, you'll feel good to see the mess but not be able to fix it. I'm there right now!
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  #4  
Unread 05-03-2012, 05:35 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

Had to update this. Feeling so BLESSED right now.

Last night, I kinda broke down on my husband. Did the whole "I am losing my femininity, womanhood, ability to bear children (which I have no...and NEVER had any desire...to do!).

He just got home from work and sat me down and said "I don't want you to worry about "what if you decide you want kids". If you decide at 35 you want kids, we can adopt. If you still feel like you always have, you will always be a great stepmom to my boys. You will always be woman enough for me.....I just want you to feel better!"

Thank you Jesus for the support of him!!!!!!!!!!!
  #5  
Unread 05-03-2012, 05:41 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

Oh good! I'm glad that he is there to give you the support you need. That must be a huge relief for you.
  #6  
Unread 05-03-2012, 05:47 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

Latte: I feel like the weight of the world is off me! I tried to explain to him the "feeling" of losing my "womanhood" last night and the only way I could think of to explain was to use an analogy......I said "Imagine if you had a date in 3 weeks to have your balls cut off". (tacky, i know..but I was grasping for something to have him understand....really understand). IT WORKED!

Thank you so much for your responses!!!!!!!!!!! This website is AMAZING!
  #7  
Unread 05-03-2012, 05:52 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

I understand how you feel as there is something about this feels like your femaleness is being stolen. I know logically that this is not true. Our brains make us women and probably our cells, DNA and all of that. It still feels weird. It is like someone is telling me I can never wear pink again. I keep visualizing myself with a deep husky voice and a beard. I know it is silly. I am about to schedule my hysto this next few days.
  #8  
Unread 05-03-2012, 07:24 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

My husband too wasn't getting how big this surgery and recovery were. So, I began to drop hints by always talking about my "6 week recovery." I would say I won't be able to do this during my "6 week recovery" or that and finally after the daily hints it started to seep in. Also, explain to him that the ablation carterized your uterus where as a hysterectomy REMOVES it, an entire organ, from your body.
  #9  
Unread 05-03-2012, 07:38 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

I was feeling bad because he didn't want to go to the doctor with me to discuss it all. I realized that I didn't really need him there. I think I transfer the anxiety to him as he is a safe person to direct it toward. Thank God we moved to a smaller house with one floor. There's no running up and down stairs. When is your surgery again?
  #10  
Unread 05-03-2012, 08:11 PM
Re: I wish it were here (kids mentioned) and LONG

I hear ya Lady! I know he could probably swing a dr. appt visit with me....but I have asked my sister-in-law to go as she is a nurse at the hospital where I am having the surgery. She had scheduled a trip out of town a few months ago....before I had my surgery date. She kept saying how bad she felt she wouldn't be there so I invited her to the hospital portion of the pre-op (my surgeon pre-op is the same day...but in the a.m.). Thankfully, she was off and able to go with! My husband is usually pretty good about my health issues (Crohn's disease SUCKS) which is awesome....and I am thankful. I am just ready to have my lower half HEALTHY!


My surgery is 3 weeks from today (May 24) with pre-op 2 weeks from today (May 17th). Thankfully, I have my mom, who has been through this for help (they live 2 miles from us) and, of course, my DH.

Just praying SO HARD that 3 weeks from this very moment I will be on the "other side" on my way to healing.

I wonder if he really realized when we took our vows 13 months ago that "in sickness and in health" would really mean the former, not the latter, during our honeymoon phase
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